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Does Day Care Improve Toddlers Language And Communication Skills

Discussion in 'Toddlers' started by Sweetygals, Jan 17, 2020.

  1. Sweetygals

    Sweetygals Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi all,
    This is with continuation of my previous thread
    My 14 Month Old Ds Not Responding To His Name
    My toddler i could see some improvement that he tells thatha and athai frequently. Eye contact and responding to name depends on his mood i think. Some times he does sometimes he doesnot. One of my colleague suggested that to put him in daycare. As i work for full time. And if he plays with kid of his age he will improve a lot.

    So Just asking for suggestions that does sending him to day care improves his concentration and pointing things?
    Or my mom is saying send him to india. we are here we will take care and train him.. there are so many kids around. So he will be fine.
    Currently he is been taken care by my helper when im in office(9am -7.30pm). later he will be with me.
    What do u all say? please help
     
    Last edited: Jan 17, 2020
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  2. joylokhi

    joylokhi Platinum IL'ite

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    Glad to see that your toddler is now showing improvement. The reasons for his slow response could be due to the long hours throughout the day spent only with the helper. From personal experience, I can say that day care should normally make him more actively involved with the other kids around him. Both my children were sent to creche here in India right from the age of 6 months onwards, as I was working full time and didnt have help for raising kids either from parents or inlaws. You could try it out for a few months in the beginning, and if you dont see much of change after a period of say at least six months, you can consider sending him to his grandparents. Ideally, I feel children should grow with their parents around them as far as possible.
     
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  3. startinganew

    startinganew Finest Post Winner

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    Dear sweetygals,

    If I were in your place, here is what I would do: (I really do not want to be the mother that preaches to other mother just sharing what I would do - so please apologize if my words sound harsh or too rigid)

    0. Is there any way you can reduce the 9am to 7:30pm - this is way too much time to be spent for such a young child without parents around. These are the most active hours for a young child - so maybe you can start work late or finish early or take up smaller projects at work - or husband does this. In my case I wrap up work earlier that my colleagues and then get back to work after dinner and putting toddler to sleep. My work hours are flexible in that way - I understand your may not be. But just sharing one idea that works for us to keep outside-parental-care hours low for a kid.

    1. Please do cut off TV/mobile completely even during meal time. Videos is high stimulation that is extremely disruptive to a child's brain. MRI studies have shown that even 1 hour of TV a day for children as old as 5 years affects the physical structure of the brain. This might mean many things for you as a family - you might have to change your evening routines (parents might have to give up TV when child is awake). Place a strict rule for your helper also that she should not use mobile/TV to entertain the kid - and verify that she follows this rule.

    2. Does your helper talk to him continuously? This is really important. Even if she is multitasking with chores, she needs to be interacting with your kid explaining what she is doing in small simple sentences. Could you offset some of her chores so she spends more quality time with your kid. I have noticed that the quality of nanny care varies significantly. There are some really good nannies out there - for children >1 year they will know what to teach them, how to teach them, and come with a plan for the week - on the fun games that will best stimulate them. And in my experience the nannies who are good with chores aren't the best with children. So you have to give up something to get something else.

    3. India trip - my kid's big boost in language came after the India trip. And I have heard this SO MANY time from first-hand experience of my friends and relatives too. It truly is magical - there is something about the immersion in language, culture and doting relatives and cousins - that does something wonderful.
    But please do not just send him alone to be raised with grandparents. Can you take a long vacation from work and spend time fully with him and grandparents?

    4. Since your parents are willing to take care of your kid all by themselves - would it be possible for them to stay with you for 2/3 months to help interact with the kid? I understand they may have constraints which is why you haven't mentioned it. Just repeating it - since it is quite valuable. Of course keep the helper at that time - so that grandparents can focus on the games and interaction and not have to worry about diapers/feeding/putting to nap/etc. Even though many grandparents might insist they can handle it - they may not realize they won't have energy left after taking care of the daily/routine stuff.

    5. Daycare: If your timings do not change from 9:00am to 7:30pm - I would definitely not go for daycare option. Attention in a daycare is not focussed and 1:1. For kids that start daycare at 6months - it is their normal, but for a child who has 1:1 nanny care - I doubt it will help him speak. Also 8 months to 1.5 years is the peak for stranger anxiety - so I wouldn't want to introduce a big change to my kid at that time. Unless ofcourse kid is naturally very social. Does your helper take him out to meet other kids during the day: Spending 10.5 hours at home with just an adult helper is not healthy for him. Hopefully she can take time to the park, library for story time (not sure if you are in US?), or gymboree classes, YMCA toddler classes, mall play area, etc. He needs to see other kids - try to aim for 1 hour atleast. (I missed doing this for my kid initially and totally regretted it.)

    6. Evenings and weekends:
    If you won't be able to make any of the other changes due to your circumstances, I would say for evenings and weekends - reduce your chore time as much as possible and spend full-on interacting and playing with kid.


    Another minor thing:
    You mentioned feeding bottle - at 14 months he could easily shift to sippy/straw cup and then move to open cup. These are skills that he will enjoy learning and trying also - they will spill a lot but they love the new experience. Try to join the FB group - Traditional weaning (Introducing solids) India - lots of great support from other mothers on how to get away from meal times with TV/mobile.
     
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  4. DDream

    DDream Platinum IL'ite

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    OP, I think day care is the best option (if your working time can be between 6 am-6 PM). There he gets better chance to interact with other people & kids. There are not many in your home. Also he is spending >10 hrs with the helper. He is too young for TV or other screen time. May be an half hour TV with nursery rhymes will be useful.

    My son was also not good in communication (just picked some words and always busy in his own world, dont look at you much, very shy etc.. ). He improved all of a sudden (became fluent in talking) by 4 years and now he is doing well. We used to ask his day care teachers about him, wondering if he has any issues like autism. They keep on assuring us he is interacting normal. We send our kids to day-care when they were only 8 month old due to our job. Also its due to multi-lingual back ground I think. May be that might have confused him. My DD started talked well from an young age because of him.

    Keep on talking to him. He is spending only a few hours with you daily(In my case it was 6-9 PM). So spend that time wisely. Don't worry, he will be fine. He is only 14 months. A long way to go. I am sure his situation will improve if you send him to India because there are lot of people to interact with him, but are you ready to send him? [my Dd's native language skills improved a lot during our vacation in India, but its all gone after few due to lack of interaction here]
     
    Last edited: Jan 18, 2020
  5. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    A big yes to daycare !
     
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  6. Sweetygals

    Sweetygals Bronze IL'ite

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    Thanks all for your suggestions!. When i spoke to pead about my concerns. He said he looks normal to me. Since u r concerned u can meet child neurologist and he suggested a doctor as well. My family does not support me to go meet child neuro. As they say give some time to kid. Later also u can check this doctor. As meeting the doctor now, he might confuse us, or it might be too early to diagnose.
    What do u all suggest to me?
     
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  7. hermitcrab

    hermitcrab Platinum IL'ite

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    Your mother is ready to help you out...please send him to India, in your mother's care.
    The constant hustle-bustle of Indian way of life, is great for anyone- including children. He will speak and will be taken care of. In day care, he will first fall sick several times, before getting a hang of day care.
    I would say, send him to India. I have heard parents sending babies for more than a year.
    If not India, then get a different nanny. Get a nanny who is focused on language skills. Give nanny a time table. She has to be talkative. American nannies are better. No TV. Lots off book reading- when she wants a down time. Get playground time, when weather is nice. Ask her to no take personal calls. She has to constantly chat with baby- it is draining but it has to be done. There is head start program in many states- for half day- check that.
     
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  8. startinganew

    startinganew Finest Post Winner

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    Personal opinion: I wouldn't yet go to Neuro if pediatrician didn't themselves suggest you go. I think doctor's protocol here in the US is to suggest a specialist *IF* parent is concerned.

    I would wait - because at 14 months he/she is super young. As a parent, I would watch for another 6 months for gradual or spurts in progress before I go to a specialist. But you are the mom - there might me many observations in your kid that you are sensing - that you may not be putting into words here in this thread (or be able to convey to H and grandparents). If you are feeling uneasy enough to consider then go for it.

    Some kids start speaking before 1 year - some much later - so there is a lot of variability. All my points above were to emphasize the fact that from now on - please make as many changes to your and kid's lifestyle to make sure the conditions are right for him/her to become fluent in language.
     
  9. hermitcrab

    hermitcrab Platinum IL'ite

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    Please send him to India, if he is still not better after 6 months of uninterrupted India stay (you go and meet), then you can go for early intervention. But I have firm believe that he will improve after India stay.
    Reasons working against him:
    First Born
    First born male
    Long hours with sitter
    Cold climate residence
    Nuclear family
    Immigrant parent

    Reasons working for him:
    Educated mother, who is worried about him and is ready to take action
    Ready maternal grandmother, to do anything for him

    Can you get your mother here for 3 months and then she takes to India for 3 months
     

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