1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Does Brushing Teeth Takes An Hour?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by kaveriudy, Jun 8, 2016.

  1. kaveriudy

    kaveriudy Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    31
    Likes Received:
    22
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    Even i think the same.. i feel that after mrg i have lost all my confidence. my cousins n sister always encourage me to talk straight to my PILs on these matters. i feel like a fool. co sisters used to take part in household works before i moved in. SIL too had helped her. Co sis is more fair than me ( as MIL has some kind of obsession with white skin ) and she comes from a rich family. thats what makes her more likable and queen bee. she n sil are allowed to wear sleeveless but i am not. she n my MIL both are very very unhygienic. all they care about is wearing expensive dresses n leave the house dirty.
     
  2. Lxcxxz

    Lxcxxz Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    43
    Likes Received:
    31
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    It takes my sister an hour and a half to get her two kids ready for bed. It's not just about brushing teeth, she also needs to supervise tongue cleaning, change their clothes, and bathe them.
     
  3. kcb

    kcb IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    1,736
    Likes Received:
    3,282
    Trophy Points:
    335
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear OP,

    As other members suggested do the following -

    1. Get a job ASAP
    2. Ignore your MIL & Co sis taunts or they making faces. Let them do whatever they want, you do whatever you feel correct with out hurting others
    3. Speak to your co sis and split the responsibilities between you both

    You need to open up and speak out, otherwise it will be too late and you will never get a chance to change the situations at home. First of all come out of that pleasing everyone syndrome and stop trying to please everyone, because it's always not possible to please every one and more over in the process of pleasing everyone you will end up losing yourself.

    So instead of trying to please everyone it's always better to do whatever is good for the family & justified without hurting others.
     
    kaveriudy likes this.
  4. kaveriudy

    kaveriudy Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    31
    Likes Received:
    22
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    thanks for the reply :) I understand that taking care of kids is not at all easy job but in this case i can clearly see that she is trying to avoid her entry into the kitchen.
     
  5. kaveriudy

    kaveriudy Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    31
    Likes Received:
    22
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    thanks dear.. i am looking for a job.... this was my first post ever on IL forum and by reading others posts i can see these MIL SIL issues are so so common. i wonder why most of the inlaws are not happy with their DILs. before marriage i was living in lala land. this mrg thing is a real eye opener for me. i don't understand why ils make issue over stupid things . i am not supposed to visit market alone. somebody should accompany me always. can only eat when everyone eles finishes thier food. i cant take nap in the day time. cant fall sick :( even if i cough a little my MIL gets irritate. starts shouting at me how chooi mooi i am. and starts comparing how strong her DD is. few days back i had to cook food when i was sick with 101 fever and nobody cared to offer any help. i should always cover my head in home or outside. i feel like living in jail
     
  6. kcb

    kcb IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    1,736
    Likes Received:
    3,282
    Trophy Points:
    335
    Gender:
    Female
    Good, getting a job will be the best solution. The main reason behind in laws behavior is their insecurity. Since birth their son was following their foot steps and listening to them. After marriage their insecurity starts, they think their son is no more going to listen to them, and going to become a Joru ka ghulam. I feel all parents has to grow up, they should understand onething that their son has to move on with the life and should maintain a good relation with wife and has to make his marriage a success. If they want their son to be a momma's boy then better don't get their son into marriage, better keep their son with them without marriage instead of spoiling other's daughter's life. Most of the marriages are damaged because of parents insecurity.

    OP, if you are not well, then just go to your room and take rest, let MIL talk whatever she want. Your health is important for you, you don't have to stretch yourself when you are suffering with 101 fever. If people forget about humanity, then you should not bother about them, just think about your health.

    Good luck for your job search.
     
  7. kaveriudy

    kaveriudy Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    31
    Likes Received:
    22
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    thank you :)
     
  8. Cutie1991

    Cutie1991 Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    35
    Likes Received:
    19
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    Ignore your MIL & Co sis taunts or they making faces. Let them do whatever they want, you do whatever you feel correct with out hurting others
    Isn't that the hardest part? Please advice me on how to do it? Specially if husband also thinks I am wrong and she is right? :(
     
  9. polymorphic

    polymorphic Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,017
    Likes Received:
    924
    Trophy Points:
    208
    Gender:
    Female
    how did she manage things before you came into the family? in joint families it is usual (not healthy) for women to try to ease their household duties. it is best for you to look for a job (will ur inlaws allow that???) and put a schedule to what you would can do and do no more. plan your day (which is more than just cooking cleaning) and see that you follow it.

    In my house, I pack breakfast and lunch for my kid (like many other mothers) 1 hr. I wake my kid just 30 min and get her ready before her bus arrives. So , I think your co-sis can manage her time better but the question is will she want to make breakfast and lunch for the entire family ..I dont think so. You see the difference there? Many mothers are making for their kids (lovingly) which they would happily do whereas here she has to make food for the in-laws. Looks like she has managed to show that she is very busy with kids. Your MIL will also not interfere in this tussle between 2 bahus as long as she is not asked to cook !!!!
     

Share This Page