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Do your husband appreciate/ be grateful for what you do?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by b86monica, Jul 6, 2011.

  1. b86monica

    b86monica New IL'ite

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    Hi Ladies,

    For some reason we had a small argument this morning and I told my H that he doesn't appreciate me on anything but instead keep blaming all the time.

    He was fuming when I told this and immediately started yelling ''why should I appreciate you? give me one reason for me to appreciate you. Every girl on the damn earth does what you are doing...nothing special you do.


    Well ladies I know every girl does all the chores what I do...but don’t you think that one should be identified for doing all them?

    I am a working mom with 3 yr old son and I do all the workwithout any help of my H. I do cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, doing an IT job, feeding my little one to putting him to sleep also pick n drop him from the day-care. The only work my H does when he is back from his work is glued to his idiotic laptop. Even after he finishes his dinner he will not be bothered to put his plate in the dishwasher. He does nothing apart from reading news and watching sports.

    why are men like this??? why are they so egoistic and they don’t realise how much we do for them?? I feel I have lost my identity.


    Does your H appreciate or be grateful to you for all thatyou do to him/family?

    -Monica
     
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  2. SallyR

    SallyR Silver IL'ite

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mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi; mso-fareast-language:EN-US;} </style> <![endif]--> I think you're doing way too much Monica...more we do more we'll be taken for granted IMO.

    Get him to share some responsibility.
     
  3. b86monica

    b86monica New IL'ite

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    Thanks sally for the reply



    Well, I can’t keep pleading him all the time toshare the responsibilities. I ask him couple of times later I lose patience andend up doing everything on my own....

    But here it’s not the question of sharingresponsibilities as I am ok to do my work but at least an applaud for we do . Iguess this is the matter with most of our Indian ladies (including my mom andMIL...).
     
  4. swathiudhay

    swathiudhay Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi Monica,

    I agree with Sally. I don't have this problem with my hubby. He helps me or i make him help, as even i work from home in night shifts. My hubby was doing a lot before marriage and in the starting of the marriage, But now am seeing him become lazy.So what i did was give me small chores to do. like appreciate his ginger tea and tell him to make it for me / tell him you have put little weight and take him for a little walk and you both purchase the groceries / ask him to wipe all the furniture in the weekend and also put his own clothes (his shirts and pants in the washing machine in the weekends once in every month).

    Please try Giving him some small chores. Like cleaning his own plate, Put the clothes in the washing machine, ask him to make tea for you and looking after the kid. Try Small ones 1st.

    Regards,
    Swathi
     
  5. Priya16

    Priya16 IL Hall of Fame

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    Actually,I don't expect from him the appreciation.

    At the same time,I won't pick up his plate either.Whenever he finds free time,he would definitely help me in all chores from A..Z with expecting little appreciation from me.
     
  6. nileleo

    nileleo New IL'ite

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    I also asked my DH same question why don't you appreciate me? his reply was you are part of me and i don't like to appreciate my self.
     
  7. tulipzz

    tulipzz Platinum IL'ite

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    Monika, I too do all that u do. My dh never acknowledges/appreciates whatever I do. I hate it
     
  8. shashiv

    shashiv Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Monica,

    I totally agree with Sally. Pretend as you are not well and make him share the reponsibilities a bit.. Atleast he should take care of your DS.

    Shanti
     
  9. arty2010

    arty2010 Bronze IL'ite

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    Unless you let him share the responsibility he will not appreciate you.. beause he does not know how much effort it takes to do all that you do. ... just leave something for him to do... like if you get very friustrated you can stop doing his laundry(am just kidding but you can try)...one day just call and say you cant pik up kid due to urgent meeting...such smart people need smart treatment.. stop taking care of 2 kids..
     
  10. RajshreeAkku

    RajshreeAkku Silver IL'ite

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    Dear Monica,

    I want to give you a suggestion.

    Do a trick. Pretend that you are unwell (act as if you cant get up frojm bed) and some stomach pain, pretend taking some tablets in front of him. Dont tell him to do any work, but at the same time dont even prepare the breakfst or lunch/dinner. Take a nice sleep and when u get up, if he hasn't done any work, I bet u, he would have donr at least some. (without you telling anything to do!)

    And you can do this for consecutive 2-3 days, so he will learn how things are done eveyday, what is the difference if the work is not done for 2 days. He will find the house messy, the dishwasher full, and loads of laundry clothes, messed kitchen, etc.

    Then surely he will understand as to what u were doing all this time. Then he will really appreciate you.

    And one more thing- Donot directly ask him to appreciate you. Any man will reply the same. may not be in a same way, though.

    Let him understand what u do daily, then only he will appreciate you. Otherwise he will not realise the greatness of house chore and managing work and also kid.

    my :my2cents
     

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