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Do you send you kids to daycare when parents/inlaws are here?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Vij99, Mar 22, 2013.

  1. Vij99

    Vij99 Senior IL'ite

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    Hi,

    My inlaws are here for a short vacation of 1 month.
    My MIL and I don't get along very well and have had fights, but we are avoiding any controversial discussions to prevent fights and maintain sanity. So we are at peace now. My inlaws were upset with me that I did not stay at their place for a long period when I was in India. So this time when their trip was finalized, I and DH decided to send kid to half day school from 9-2pm, so he will spend time with his grandparents between 2 and 5-5.30 when I return. Its been a week and I or DH, we are at home during half day as our work wasn't hectic.
    My son has not been eating well esp home cooked rice, he has suddenly become cranky since past 3-4 weeks about food, he cries when he is hungry but doesn't eat anything that's available at home, when I am alone I find it tough to manage too, but he is not like that all the time.
    This morning, he was crying that he dint want to go to school, he wanted to stay with his grandparents, I asked MIl if he could stay at home to which she said "If he plays its fine but when he starts crying and becomes fussy, its tough to manage" So I decided to send him to school, they went into bedroom, I lied they were at school etc and finally got him to school, he was fine. He eats ok in school. I went home for lunch at 12.30, then she asked me if I was sick or my son (I told her I was sick this morning, I guess she got confused), I said it was me, she said "Oh ok, I thought it was little one who was feverish"
    I am pissed, they complaint about not spending time when in India etc and now they don't even want to keep for some hours, she also said its better if he goes full day, it would be easy for him as well as us.
    I know sometimes its tough to handle cranky child but my son is not always cranky.
    Also, she keeps saying , I will take grandson to India for few months etc, just so that my husband thinks his mom is also willing to take care of our son and not just my mom. MIL knows I would never send my kid to India, so she says all this.
    My DH is such a fool, he thinks his mom really wants to and can take care of our kid.

    I am frustrated with this female. I have switched my kid to full time for last 2 weeks of their stay. I want to jokingly say to her "but you said you will take him to India and manage" or tell my DH that they complained about me not staying for long at inlaws when in India and now they want him to go full time to a school. But afraid of consequences, any suggestions pls??
     
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  2. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Changing kid's schedule for 4 weeks is not a good idea. Children need consistency. Having visitors at home is a good experience for him, but he also needs somethings to go on as before.

    Why fret and fume and give MIL the satisfaction of making you angry and irritated? She pretends to want to take your son to India? Join the fun. Pretend to seriously be considering it. In the weekend, ask, "I wonder what documents are needed for child to leave country without parents. Do they ask questions at the airport. Do they think grandparent is kidnapping child?" Don't ask "how will you take care if even here you cannot for a few hours."
     
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  3. sanvi5

    sanvi5 Silver IL'ite

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    Your MIL is typical double minded player like most of the MIL's so dont pay much attention to her words.She is anyway leaving in 2 weeks which is not very long so its good for you.........In her next visit when such things happen talk to her directly saying you wanted to take him to India for months and now you cannot keep him for few hrs. People like your MIL will not realize no mater what you say.Just let it go for now 2 weeks is'nt that bad.
     
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  4. anahita5

    anahita5 Gold IL'ite

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    I would openly say to DH when such a subject comes up " Mom/ Dad are old now, it is not right to burden them with our kids resposibility. our son is our problem, why spoil there time running aroudnd a cranky 2 yr old. They are just being nice, but I think it i will be too much for them." If they said they will hire help tell them sweetly "Help is help, not family ;)" Drama begets drama... plain and simple.
     
  5. blessbabydust

    blessbabydust IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi OP keep the schedule of the children as normal dont change once they become pampered they will start tantrums ..my parents live with me for past 5 yrs but i still send my child to day care reason he needs to learn the outside world ...
    my suggestion keep your daily routine and dont change for anything nor anyone ....
     
  6. Decentguy

    Decentguy New IL'ite

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    I remember a similar thread not too long ago where mil was coming for 1-2 months and the OP had asked for suggestions. I am not sure if this is the same OP or if that was in inlaws section but nevertheless my suggestion will be the same. Since she is here just for 1 month, be diplomatic. Someone said she is 2 faced, so you also be "2 faced" ( aka diplomatic and political).

    It's not a good idea to break the kid's schedule and the things he is accustomed to. If you want to joke to mil about her taking your kid to india and taking care, joke it sarcastically so that it does not ricochet on you like a boomerang.

    Please avoid any altercation. It is matter of just few weeks.
     

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