1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Would you like to join the IL team? See open jobs!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  4. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

Do You Get Closure To Bad Memories

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by ProudIndian, Jan 18, 2020.

  1. ProudIndian

    ProudIndian Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    651
    Likes Received:
    657
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    I want to ask who divorced or separated with kids. Did you get closures to unresolved issues which were hurting u while you were living together?
    Also how do you deal with kids stuff like handling teenager tantrums or descipline kids?
     
    AmulB likes this.
    Loading...

  2. Metamorphic

    Metamorphic Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    376
    Likes Received:
    828
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Gender:
    Female
    Some things in life just doesn't close. We need to accept that for our own healing.
     
    umaakumar, Ruby2019, anika987 and 5 others like this.
  3. RekhaUK

    RekhaUK New IL'ite

    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    14
    Trophy Points:
    8
    Gender:
    Female
    Yes, I did get closure to bad memories. It's our choice to shut down the thoughts (or) get overwhelmed by them. Once you decide to shut the memories, spend the day with positive people and thoughts. My typical day goes like this. Wake up at 6 AM , go for a yoga followed by a walk. Back home, have a coffee and catch up with whatsapp and some cooking. Spend some time with kid preparing to school.Start to office and be back by 4PM. Spend some time with kid , go for a coffee , meet a friend and be back by dinner. Weekends, i travel a lot , very much solo to destinations backpacking !!
     
    lavani, CoolPie, AmulB and 1 other person like this.
  4. senorita2019

    senorita2019 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    339
    Likes Received:
    666
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Gender:
    Female
    After he moved out of the house I got lots of peace and happiness.
    Once I got the divorce decree in my hand, I felt a new wave of freedom.
    All the past wounds healed slowly as I came out of the daily negativity (fights, crying, complaining, name calling, inalws interference etc)

    My son adjusted to the custody schedule in 2-3 months. Weekdays with me and weekends with dad. Spending long weekends alternatively. Everyone is happy and settled into our own lives.
     
  5. Cool10

    Cool10 Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    262
    Likes Received:
    161
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    I am separated with a child. I don't think about him/the past. I keep my mind occupied so time passes without thinking about the issues. I didn't get any closure but I have accepted that its the way things are.

    My child is young now and never knew him (separated when she was 1 yr old). I am the only parental authority about and have to be firm.

    My family (parents/siblings) though keep on opening old wounds as they still haven't gotten over the fact that mine was a love marriage (gone bad). It has been more than 6 years now since my marriage and they still aren't any close to acceptance. I only think about the issues I had with my ex when they rub salt in my wounds
     
  6. SuiDhaaga

    SuiDhaaga Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    505
    Likes Received:
    149
    Trophy Points:
    108
    Gender:
    Female

    It gets less over time.

    Yesterday some dirt was bought into my face. I confronted it best I could without showing anyone my sadness.

    All feelings are normal. We must handle them best we can. We should handle bad feelings in private, especially if surrounded by people who are unable to help (because they themselves are old and weak).
     
  7. lavani

    lavani Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    504
    Likes Received:
    614
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    it is good to be a happy parent, than a fighting couple.
     
  8. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    7,289
    Likes Received:
    10,631
    Trophy Points:
    438
    Gender:
    Female
    beautifully said!
     

Share This Page