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Do we really expect something in return whenever we help?

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by divshiri87, Nov 7, 2013.

  1. divshiri87

    divshiri87 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi All,
    Recently i came across this situation.
    There was a discussion between two people about helping others.
    One guy said to other "Few days before i saw a old man struggling to stand in the bus and i was sitting little far from him. I was thinking whether anyone going to offer him to seat but no one did that. I went near to him and asked him to sit at my place. I was standing next to him. I expected atleast thanks from him but he didn't say anything".
    Other guy asked "Did you expect thanks from him" and this guy said "Ofcouse, i do expect because i helped him when he was struggling to stand".

    I started thinking and asked myself "Do we rellay expect something in return whenever we help"

    Please share your views

    Moderators: If this post is irrelevant in this section, pls move to another section.
     
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  2. Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    we do expect a basic thank u, dont u think so.

    Not that if we give something we expect something of similar value, but a basic thanks one does expect.That is courtesy.

    But what u say, happens when we give someone a birthday gift of say 1000 etc, and when it is their turn to give us, we expect a smiliar amount or more amount , which should not be the case.

    what say.
     
  3. satchitananda

    satchitananda IL Hall of Fame

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    Let's be honest, most of us expect at least a thanks like Kamalji says if the person is a third person on the street and we help him/her of no other consideration than being nice. Should that person be someone related to you in some way or the other - a maid, a dependent, a friend, a relative - most "favours" are done with an expectation of a quid pro quo at sometime when you need help.
     
  4. divshiri87

    divshiri87 Gold IL'ite

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    Kamalji and satchitananda, whatever you told could be true.
    But i have seen few people who never expects thanks for the help they did. It could be to their friends or relatives or to third person.
    To be honest, sometimes i never expected thanks for the help from anyone and sometimes i do expect.
    When i met a person (who never expects thanks) i asked him why he didn't expect thanks for the help he said "Expecting thanks or expecting another help in return is almost same.Because we are expecting something in return for the help we did".
     
  5. iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

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    Divshiri dear most people expect thanks and nothing in return when they do some good to us. Rarely people are there who dont expect thanks
     
  6. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear Divshri,

    I enjoyed reading your post. It brought up a very important subject whether we should help others with an intent to provide selfless service with no expectations. There are three types of people. One category does things with a clear thought in their mind that if we do this now, we can expect them to reciprocate it later. I call this as service barter. Another category of people expect a simple "Thank you" from others when they do help. This is definitely much better than the first category of people as expectation is a simple "Thank you" to acknowledge their help. There is a third category of people who do selfless service or help to others with an intent that it is for their own spiritual growth. In real terms, providing selfless help/service to others is its own reward for our character development. Those who provide such help are in their own path of spiritual growth and truly see their own reflection in other people.

    Viswa
     
  7. Padmash

    Padmash Platinum IL'ite

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    This is really wonderful post. Do we really expect something in return for helping... i feel it should be there.. at least one thanks should be there.. i dont care for strangers whether they thanks or not but i do feel from friends.. relatives are exception, i dont expect any thanks from them. If other person don't thanks for the help.. i feel they didnt need that help... i have met few people who wanted my help but there was no thanks at all.. i really felt bad. Few months back our tenant asked us to help them to settle down as they were new to bangalore. I and my brother helped them from grocery to hospital.. but there was not a single thanks from those people.. i felt like they are so thankless.. later on i came to my husband in china. After few weeks my brother went to my house just for a check.. we were so surprised that these tenants didn't even say hello forget about anything else.. they knew he came there after driving 1hour.. they even had jain food for 3days in our house.. as they cant get jain food in nearby restaurants and they didnt had their goods arrived at bangalore. It really feels bad if other person doesn't even thank or revert properly.
     
  8. lgirish

    lgirish Platinum IL'ite

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    I too feel that even though we may not immediately expect something in return we can't help thinking in times of difficulty- see I helped that person a lot but in my difficult times he/she is not offering help. It is basic human nature to expect in return. For those who really don't expect anything I salute them. I am an ordinary human being.
     

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