Do u think celebrating some festivals is obsolete

han412 · Apr 3, 2014

Gudi padwa .....I am beginning to hate some festivals.
Endless cooking, digs from MIL , slog, slog, slog and family does not even know why we are celebrating a festival. Why a different new year for all communities when we follow the roman calander? These festivals just mean EATING and moms slogging.
Am I alone in having these feelings would love to hear opinions.Hey and no posts pls if u are not the one doing all the work and cooking.

Priya16 · Apr 3, 2014

han,

I also feel the same way. Festival becomes more of cooking than anything else. It's really a lot of work on women.

guesshoo · Apr 3, 2014

Tee hee. I bunk all the cooking that goes with most festivals. My mum does everything with zest and belief but when I try it feels fake. Even as a child I wasn't keen on festivals and that has intensified. Helps that husband is not much interested either and we live far, far away from ILs. There were comments from mil initially but I just neutrally repeated, I don't do it as I don't believe in it; I don't want it to be a mockery.

We make something super-simple, everyday food you can say and offer it to god, if that. More emphasis on the Aarthi and singing than anything else. For DDs sake we get new clothes sometimes. If anyone who relishes doing any festival invites us, we visit, praise their dedication, enjoy the devotion and come back. Guess I'm lucky.

pinkRoseBud · Apr 3, 2014

guesshoo said: ↑

Tee hee. I bunk all the cooking that goes with most festivals. My mum does everything with zest and belief but when I try it feels fake. Even as a child I wasn't keen on festivals and that has intensified. Helps that husband is not much interested either and we live far, far away from ILs. There were comments from mil initially but I just neutrally repeated, I don't do it as I don't believe in it; I don't want it to be a mockery.

We make something super-simple, everyday food you can say and offer it to god, if that. More emphasis on the Aarthi and singing than anything else. For DDs sake we get new clothes sometimes. If anyone who relishes doing any festival invites us, we visit, praise their dedication, enjoy the devotion and come back. Guess I'm lucky.
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Thats the best way to celebrate. Even I do not cooking 5-8 course meal saying we should offer this to god. We can do it in more simpler and meaningful way

bhucat · Apr 3, 2014

Celebration is not only the Food part....so i love celebrating all festivals. The main aspect of celebration are doing special pooja to particular God/Goddess on that day, get together of all relatives/friends, spending family time, finally enjoying varities of dishes etc...

Nowadays since we enjoy all these in our routine part of life, we do not find the joyfulness in the celebration, that makes the differences.

Anyways i love making varities even though it is all time consuming, i will make it in small quantity and not like olden periods, they make sweets and savouries in biscuit tins but since it is all readily available, i make it in small quantity. Afterall i enjoy my self cooking i love all the festivals and celebrations so much!

rashima4u · Apr 3, 2014

Good thread, I also ask myself if I am a bad person as I am not celebrating festivals in same way like my mom and MIL :bonk
I am not living in India, mostly here is no holiday on festival day, you don't feel the environment, I am a working mother of 2 kids (3,5 yo).which itself gives so much work with normal routine life :rant and no help

and I even forget to worship god as I used to do it just after my bath before and now with kids I can't manage to take bath that early and then I am hungry and later I forget.

me and my hubby are on weight loss so who will eat this heavy festive food, kids doesn't know much as i don't make exotic indian sweets.

I feel guilty sometime

han412 · Apr 4, 2014

Wow that's a relief I am not the only one who takes "short cuts" my MIL term. My MIL festivals only mean cooking lots for her. My first Diwali she made me cook so many things we spent the entire time in cooking and I was so tired that on laxmi pujan I had no energy to get ready and simply tied my hair in a knot. My dh got so angry on my MIL he ordered for the next 3 days we will only eat out. OK all the delicious things me and MIL had prepared, no one in our house ate , cause everyone is health conscious in our house. The entire stuff we gave to maids and watchmans.
Also we don't stay in our state so there are no holidays for our festivals and when there is a holiday kids and dh want to have a good time and don't want to be holed up at house.

On festivals there is less emphasis on cooking that is I cook non spicy, less oily stuff paneer, chole etc. which is not our traditional cusine but which my family enjoys eating. We all sit together and I tell why the festival is celebrated. My elder daughter is 11 and now she narrates. Then we go out and maybe buy new clothes or do something to enjoy ourselves. We give more importance to rituals than eating. Every Diwali me and kids decorate diyas and do all the decoration ourselves.
@rashima4u don't fell guilty even I don't make any sweets as no one eats them. We just go out and buy kaju katli which is the only sweet eaten in my house.
MIL thinks I am very lazy but she has stopped saying that in 1-2 yrs because when we went to our native her son didn't eat any sweets she prepared and asked her if she wants him to die is that why she gives fries everyday and often makes sweets. Sounded a bit harsh to me, I felt so bad for my MIL that I ate all the sweets she made. In my dh family almost everyone has died in their 4 th decade because of a heart attack.

nalinidiv · Apr 4, 2014

i love celebrating festivals.. i feel its more dan jus prepring food. I take it as an opportunity to pursue cultural/traditional practices..
Basially am a working woman with a 4 yr old kid.. donot have a disciplined habit of worshipping god at home.. I try to do puja wenever possible... although my FIL does puja everyday..So festivals are the only time I get rid of my guilt of abandoning the puja room.. I feel very excited during festivals.. I carefully plan the menu on each festival.. always make sure taht i don repeat the sweets/savouries through out the year...
The joy of taking bath at 4 am and having idli + vadacurry along with nearly a half dozen sweets is jus heavenly ... or the nine day golu n sundal for navrathri. or calling out pongalo pongal wen the pongal boils is a great experience... even the karthigai dheepam.. whole house lighted with lamps n a big rangoli infront of the house with decorated kuthu vilakku all gives me lot of happiness.. .

n also this is the only opportunity our kids can know the importance of these festivals..

Venala · Apr 4, 2014

Even I feal the same.making of 6 7dishes mg:I can't

han412 · Apr 4, 2014

I think the difference is living in your native place and maybe in a joint family or atleast where u have relatives staying in the same town.
I stay in a nuclear family with no relatives nearby to drop in. So I am free to celebrate a festival in a way I love. As it is where is it said that you should prepare lots of sweets and have fried stuff on festivals. These are just stuff created by people who have nothing better to do ( my MIL for sure) That said I do celebrate festivals and @nalinidiv do tell my kids of the importance or these festivals I was only discussing the cooking part behind these festivals and how unmanageable it is in a nuclear family and especially when no one else is interested.