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Do u discuss everything with ur husband?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by dsrini, Dec 4, 2007.

  1. padmaiyangar

    padmaiyangar Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi members,

    I feel that I need not discuss every thing with my husband. Since we both working, there are many things which cannot be discuss or shared with my husband, he also may not like, may feel unhappy .. In order to have good harmony and peaceful married life, I have avoided certain things for discussion. which are not very essential.

    Since I following the above principal my married life is happy ..


    Padmaiyangar
     
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2007
  2. suma21

    suma21 New IL'ite

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    Hi Friends,

    I Share everything with my husband except discussion on inlaws side people which ends in disagrement even if they r totally at fault.We Discuss everthing else on earth & he is my Best friend.I vent out those things on my belove girlfriends....I agree for Life long happy marriage u should not discuss things which cause friction.

    Cheers
    Suma
     
  3. ruchika

    ruchika New IL'ite

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    hi darsini,

    its good that u share everything with your husband and are happy about it.But I would agree with Ria that one should share only information which is required and
    should not say bad things about his family and your own family.It can be harmful in
    future when u two have fight over some issue and he may take it out giving bad remarks about your family.You must have heard the saying that to Befriend mind is
    to Befriend a fool. So you keep on talking whatever comes in your mind and still
    wants things to be smooth which is not possible.Anyways its your life and your
    personal decision and if your husband is so open minded go ahead,do it.
    regards,
    Ruchika
     
  4. iindus_17

    iindus_17 New IL'ite

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    hi
    we can discuss everything with hubbies but depend on the relationship.If it is good u can share everything with him.because sharing everything creates some problem in case if it is not healthy relationship.tsk
     
  5. sapnabedi

    sapnabedi New IL'ite

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    Hi
    I discuss each and everything with my husband and i think its the best thing because you cant get open with anybody in your life more your husband and believe me its very relieving.
     
  6. aishu22

    aishu22 Gold IL'ite

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    DearDhivya,
    I discuss each and everything with my hubby.Hes a very practical and sensible person.He advices me on personal and official matters.Since both of us are in the same profession, we have a total synch...TOUCH WOOD!!!!!.
    Be it any issue, even if its a issue with him or about him, i will talk to him first sort it out and then do the next task.He's also like that.So i personally feel, sharing all the things with ur life partner will make life smooth and happy :)
     
  7. lakshmis

    lakshmis New IL'ite

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    Hi all,

    This is my first post indeed !! I was a kind of tempted i can say to express my views as the subject is such!

    Well, I am in the 15th year of my marriage and by the grace of the Almighty, in spite of hiccups during the initial years, i can say that we are sailing smoothly now........i feel that anyone should/can discuss/confide each and everything with one's spouse only if the compatibility level is more or less equal.....otherwise, u may be subjected to dejection....in my case, the compatibility level has definitely grown steadily over a period of time and today i can say with confidence that i can discuss 'anything' under the sun without any inhibitions (whether its abt my family or his family or common friends or for that matter about himself or myself!!!!).....but if one finds that the compatibility level is low or different, theres nothing wrong in maintaining a bit of privacy too, definitely not with the intention of hiding the facts, but to avoid unnecessary problems/arguments by disclosing something unwantedly.....

    this is all from me [​IMG]
     
  8. ruchika

    ruchika New IL'ite

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    hi
    we can discuss everything with hubbies but depend on the relationship.If it is good u can share everything with him.because sharing everything creates some problem in case if it is not healthy relationship.tsk
    ***************
     
  9. Sashmitaa

    Sashmitaa Senior IL'ite

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    Nope. I dont discuss everything with my hub unless it is a necessary issue. He used to drag my parents and obviouslly I also pulled his family in our arguments. So we both are maintaining our distance in our relationship. I feel it is good for our long run also.

    Keep going ladies
    Lakshmi
     
  10. Varloo

    Varloo Gold IL'ite

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    Hi,
    nice topic. It seems that most who have responded are in the initial stages of their married life and are all of the hep gen. I have completed 20 years of marriage and i would like to share a few things with you all.
    When I was about to be married, my mother (she is of the old school) told me that I am not to speak my mind out with my in laws and my husband. I was told to be careful while replying and to adhere to formal way of talk. Also I was not to take them all fo granted, like I did my people at home. With hubby, I was to be formal to an extend and keep a distance till I know about him well. This was to avoid any unpleasantness in the marriage.I followed that advice to the T and as she had cautioned, my people were of the trouble making type.So I was able to handle things well and that helps me even now.
    My cousin is a very innocent type and she did not heed to this advice. She was asked by her mil to wear a nice silk saree and be dressed up well during the first week of her married life. She had replied that she would not have married had she known that she would not be allowedto wear salwar kameez (she does not like to dress up). All of them gave a piece of their mind to her then and her hubby never lets her forget about this incident even after 9 years.
    So being cautious is a good thing. In love marriages, there may not be a problem.
    Then, we women tend to be very emotional and would feel that our hubby is our world. But before knowing about the person, that may be disastorous.
    Recently, our neighbour's daughter had a problem. She was about to be engaged and she used to talk to her fiancee by phone. She poured out her mind to him the second time itself, and he had misunderstood her. He talked to his mother and that woman cancelled the engagement. There was a big circus (they had come to Chennai from Kerala for wedding shopping and were with us when thie happened) and they all were very depressed. I talked with the boy's mother and helped them sort things. Now the marriage is about to happen but the bitter taste is there.
    Now, for my case. Now I discuss many things with my hubby, but not every thing. I feel that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. So better not bare all.
     

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