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Do u discuss everything with ur husband?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by dsrini, Dec 4, 2007.

  1. dsrini

    dsrini Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi all

    I would like to start this thread.

    I discuss everything with my husband. Even when my parents does something bad I will tell him also he will discuss every detail (even very bad)of his family with me. But we will never disrespect each other parents.

    I know all his password n he knows mine. Daily evening we will discuss everything on what we did that day(even tiny details).

    He is my best friend and my mentor (who teaches/explains everything(career wise) very patiently). He also takes care of my parents like his own when they visit us.

    So
    Do u discuss???????? Lets start.

    Cheers
    -Dhivya
     
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  2. Sujimallige

    Sujimallige Bronze IL'ite

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    Hello divya,
    Nice topic there.

    Me too,I discuss everything with my husband.Like if I find any article on net that I liked also I tell him.
    He too tells me everything that happened at his office.
    We also discuss every detail of our relatives gud and bad both,but we never cross our limits and speak ill of the other side.We respect each other's feelings and give space to each other.
    If any of us does not feel like talking abt something we dont pester.
    This is from my side...:hatsoff

    Suji
     
  3. jaya36

    jaya36 New IL'ite

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    Hi,
    I did the same thing like all of u ladies till 4 years after marraige(ours was luv). ILaws came to visit us here in US(things went bad to worse........bad was done by my parents too).........now I selectively tell him information since I dont want my parents to be ridiculed by him. Other than that he is a great dad to our 2 boys.
    I guess time changed my dh from best friend to dh again:queen..........I confide more in my girlfriends now

    j
     
  4. Ria2006

    Ria2006 Silver IL'ite

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    I totally understand Jaya. Where you are coming from. I know how it feels.

    Well First two ladies sound like in their honeymoon phase still. Relax ladies, it will become more real after some time.
    Honeymoon phase is first few years in marriage until a kid happens. So ladies dont zinx it by saying it. Be happy while it lasts.And it will come to reality after a while.

    I have been married for 3 years. And I know,with each year we have known newer and deeper aspect of each other. So I thought better approach for me is to go slow in totally opening myself. We do share good amount of things between us, But we do have our own space too. I cannt imagine going all out and getting hurt in the process.
    Frankly speaking, since childhood we were grown with concept of having space. even as adolscent I have shared fair amount of things with family and friends. I always keep some part of me unshared and unspoken. That gives me sanity and peace.
    And for any long term relation, its better to give only that much, which you can sustain for whole life under any circumstance.
    So "tell-it-all" may work for you folks as long as your spouse doesnot use this superflueous information in negative way.
    Cheers
    Ria Chillout!
     
  5. nivedha

    nivedha New IL'ite

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    Hi Divya,
    Nice to hear, about your closeness to your husband, may you live like that forever.here's my take on the subject, being frank with your spouse depends on that person.Fortunately, my hubby is avery open- minded person, I can discuss anything under the sun, and I sure do discuss with him.
    Yesterday, as i was talking to him, i realised, I see him as a friend, more than a husband.Many a times, I have felt uncomfortable when I have to introduce him as my husband, there is something in that word, that prevents me from uttering it.Anyways our relationship is quite different, though we discuss everything(everyday happenings,our worst fears and failures, good and bad about our families, the worst inner thoughts...) ,but we never feel the need or the pressure to discuss everything all the time.At the same time we don't deliberately hide anything. It is not perfect as it sounds,we have our moments, "NO STRINGS ATTACHED", is a good phrase to describe our relationship. Gosh I love him, I will love him, even if he hates me.
    Love
    Nivedha.
     
  6. Sujimallige

    Sujimallige Bronze IL'ite

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    hahaha ria that was funny!!!!
     
  7. Ria2006

    Ria2006 Silver IL'ite

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    :biggrin2: Thank you, I meant it in light spirit only.
     
  8. kavya007

    kavya007 Gold IL'ite

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    I used to discuss everything with my husband until my son was born though he never did the same thing. I used to feel very close to him. He used to be more like a friend and mentor to me. After my son was born we had lot of problems and we went through a phase when there was a huge communication gap between us. I was actually having the baby blues and he was suffering from hyperthyroid. During some of the fights he would taunt me by bringing up some of the painful memories I had shared with him before my delivery. That hurt me the most. Now I am unable to trust him completely. I feel that anything I confide in him comes back to haunt me later in life. Though my husband has apologised a million times for his behaviour and he completely changed after he was put on medication, I am unable to forgive and forget him completely. Any thoughts on how to forgive him completely and start the healing process?? We are currently taking marital counseling sessions. I really want to forgive him but some part of me is still distrustful. Currently I am also taking treatment for postpartum depression.

    Kavya.
     
  9. kavya007

    kavya007 Gold IL'ite

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    And BTW my "honeymoon" phase lasted for 5 years :cheers Right now we are just going through a low period.

    Kavya.


     
  10. Mahajanpragati

    Mahajanpragati Platinum IL'ite

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    dear friends,
    the thread had me thinking.do i discuss /share everthing with him.well,yes & no.
    let me explain.in the first yr of marriage mil would say some things which would hurt me but i never told him . i felt he would feel that i too am like other dil who only have complains about in laws.so the unsharing started then .later when we were facing financial troubles i would seldom tell him how much worried i am for the obvious reason that he would blame himself.
    for yes,i would say we share all the important things.but we respect each others privacy too.if i feel something is bothering him i encourage him to share but if he does not want to i do not force.same with him .he encourages me to write diary so that i can unburden myself ,which i gladly do.only there can i abuse my inlaws without the risk of hurting hubby.
     

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