Do such DILs have the right to complain?

Meena, what is it that you are not getting ?

meena you are right from your perspective and others are also right from their point of view. it is just that your situation and their situation is different.

you got away with your mil and hubby because they are able to tolerate such a thing. but not all dils are lucky like you and not all in-laws and husbands are patient like the ones you got. you know, asking a mil to shut-up can anger some husbands to such and extent that they may be even tempted to throw the wife out of the house though it is not the dil's mistake. in such cases will frankness help ? this is what the ilites are trying to say. honesty and frankness is okay as long as it doesn't affect your married life. if it does then we have to careful about when to be honest and when not to be honest. it is about caution and not about being a coward who is not able to deal with the in-laws.

hope you got it. if not come back.

cheers.

 

Dont worry guys this thread will also get chosen as thread of the month like - "set your priorities staright.. dont complain" :crazy....

Point is it depends from person to person and family to family.
If DIL is direct - MIL bitches.
If MIL is direct - DIL bitches.
If MIL = DIL are direct - then its a bull fight, that we see at chawls where women fight pullling each others hairs.

If MIL = DIL - goody to each other But both do bitching - Cold war.. son torned between DW and MOM without knowing the exact reason.

If MIL = DIL - goody to each other & no bitching- a peaceful happy married life (Rarerest of Rare occurance).

To each their own ways, and as per your question I answer it as YES she has to right to complain, if it helps her as she cant change her situation in any case.

 

Sorry Meena,
From your post you have mentioned only that she is cribbing about the spending. Is she hurt because her husband is spending on his parents? Then I still stand with my view...
If she is hurt that they are going for trip without involving her and the kids, then it is DH's fault, and she needs to talk about it and figure it out..
Or may be she is hurt about anything else that you have not mentioned here!

 

Well there are whiners everywhere. My colleague says a woman complains as she is looking for some compassion and man whines as he needs some resolution to his problem. I think your friend just looking for some comfort as her husband is giving his attention to her ILs. There is no good or bad. We all go through a phase in life where we feel neglected - whine. I think you can help her by listening and if you are tired of listening tell her whining just change the topic. I realize that just as she is trying to be a good DIL you are trying to be good Friend.
JMO
Regards
Sati