This question arises many times in my mind since the baby care question comes up with any one (including my DH). Yesterday I had a conversation with my cousin she is 5 years elder to me and her second DD is 3 month younger to my DS. Cousin: We just sold all our baby stuff as we have no more issues coming up. Me: Oh!! We did the same last month Cousin: Why? Are you not planning second one. Me: No, I don’t think I can take care. Since I was diabetic and 30 plus it would be high risk and I have to monitor daily. I don’t want to go through that again. Moreover I will not have any help this time and our budget doesn’t allow hiring a full time help. Cousin: Why no help? Akka (She is referring to my mom) can come Me: She has no leave left and more over she is arthritis patient and traveling between bang and hyd now. Coming & helping me would be difficult on her health too. Cousin: Akka retires on 3 more years, you can plan then. By this time I was furious and wanted to say, “my mom is not my kids ayya and after retirement what she needs is rest not unnecessary burden of her grandkids baby care“. But for my sanity I kept quiet and hanged up giving some other reason. Not only her, I get these kinds of suggestion from everyone, why doesn’t your mom come. Even my DH blamed that my mom gave importance to her carrier and left after 3 months. I really don’t understand. My mom was fulltime working and took care of her 3 kids without any parents or IL’s help. Now that all kids are almost settled, its time for her to relax and enjoy, I don’t mind if they willingly come and help out their kids, but demanding is too bad according to me. Most of my mom’s colleagues are facing the same issues. Their kids are forcing them to take VRS just to look after their kids. Sometimes I wonder as kids did we forget to respect our parents life & their happiness and just seeing as someone to help us keeping their life’s aside.