Do I still need to do seva for such people.

So you want to change the situation, so there are two ways:
Change them
Change yourself
( dont go for the first one)

Spend more time on you than them. Dont fall for thier " lets get her" tactics

 

From what I know ..giving prasad or other offerings from God increases the blessings on the giver.If he is excluding you....he is showing himself as a bad person to the GOD he goes to worship.Instead of feeling bad...feel pity on him for his smallness.

 

It has every thing to do with the kind of people they are, and nothing to do with you, OP. Don't react. Get DH to call you also for the prasad when he calls DH. If FIL refuses to give you, have DH give you the prasad.

 

He is happy that his act made you worry... Ignore and dont react.

 

@Ria84 Sister,

:welcome to IL family,

This act of your FIL shows his littleness, it is not going to affect rather Guru knows his shortcomings of his behaviour, indirectly Guru will bless you.

So now you are under the direct path of Guru's blessings, rather than the FIL's blessings, be happy that he is giving you an opportunity to get directly blessed by Guru himself, don't bother and walk away from that place.

The blessings received by you is more mightier, feel proud and ignore what happens, and feel cool

May Guru Rayaru bless you and your family in abundance always, SAIRAM

 

You don't need to do seva for anybody. If you wish to extend yourself because of the warmth you feel from a person, great. Otherwise duty towards elders is hogwash. Everyone is an adult; people's actions and attitudes deserve respect, not age. (Respect is not to be confused with consideration for other humans)

Now in your case, remember you can't change him. You can change yourself to not feeling bad by taking action. Deal with such things instantly. You've been with them for a while; you will know the kind of stuff they could come up with. So, think up diplomatic answers and practice thm with the right body-language and intonation in front of the mirror. When the need arises, say you witty line and move on.

BTW, is there some custom that a male should not give holy rice to another woman who is not his wife (or perhaps mum or sister or daughter)? Perhaps he doesn't mean offence and he is just one of those who feels awkward in front of the DIL. In my family, just about any elder can liberally sprinkle rice over anyone while giving a blessing. (Regardless of the fact the rice is coated in turmeric and vermillion and will horribly stain my newly cleaned carpet... That's another whinge for another day) You could simply turn to your husband or his mum instantly and say, "sprinkle some over my head too, dear/ mum." And stop feeling bad about it.

if you overhear anything mean about you, pass by saying, "that's not nice." Don't stand there and get into an argument or a discussion. You've said it and you've moved on.

dont wonder about or overthink these matters. Your FIL perhaps merely feels awkward around you. Put this out of your head and focus on something positive you can do to give you a happy boost.

 

you need God wishes or you need prasad from your fil ..?

let them hate you it is our duty to take care and respect the old aged people you do your duty leave the result to God. He is always watching all..

no need to change them or change your character

I can understand the situation if he is offering to all expect you it will hurt pl. try to avoid your presence and make you engaged in some other work don't think about him.

 

I see your advice is only to help her.. I respect. But how is anything gonna change if she changes nothing?.. she will be with this post forever!