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Do I Owe It To Her?!

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by BeingSoulful, Sep 17, 2020.

  1. 1Sandhya

    1Sandhya Platinum IL'ite

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    @BeingSoulful,
    After reading your post what struck me was that most of it could easily have been omitted because it’s unrelated to your present problem. Yet you chose to include all this info.

    This is food for thought. Ask yourself why you define yourself like this, and have to bring this past into every issue.

    Looks like the incidents of your childhood weigh heavily on you, and really color the way you approach everything else in your life. You are kind of steeped in it. This is a huge part of the problem. For example you initially thought your h is from a loving family, after marriage you discovered his family reality yet he never ever expressed any self pity nor anything about his mom nor does he to this day isn’t it? It’s a difference in approach due to mindset and attitude.

    As to what you can do- you can stop seeking your missing mom relationship in her. And deal with her head on.
    Set clear boundaries. Offer to help. If it’s refused shrug it off and STOP letting it affect you. Be normal. Eat normally.
    It’s your fault you have acidity. You are a grown woman. Find ways and buy things to eat in the interim and safeguard your health. Same with kid. You are its mom.

    Seriously half the problem is you are yourself confused and requiring permission like a kid. You have all the rights to your health and your kids care. Stop being so passive. Who will stop you? No one has the right.
    And avoid the arguments. Figure out what is the trigger for them and smartly step away or avoid till it blows over.
    Rest others have given detailed examples as to what to do.
     
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2020
  2. Patientone

    Patientone Bronze IL'ite

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    I feel like I could predict your story even before reading each following paragraph. MIL sounds a lot like mine.

    you’re going to have to develop thick skin because you’re going to either let her make you or break you. Put your foot down in a quiet manner. Give your child the love they deserve regardless of what she says. Ignore her and show her how happy you are. When she takes you kid away from you. Enjoy yourself, pamper yourself etc she’ll soon return your child to you.

    A lot of MILs treat their DILs this way. But they don’t realise when they’re old and feeble, if they haven’t treated their DIL well, they’ll be lonely with no one to look after them.

    does your husband see how she treats you?
     

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