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Do husbands appreciate stay at home wives?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by smart_soul, Apr 8, 2010.

  1. Anuradha00

    Anuradha00 Bronze IL'ite

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    Smart Soul,

    When you say glitch, what exactly you mean?


    Don't worry too much on being on H4. Eventually you may get EAD / green card or you may opt to return to India (whichever is your preference) so don't worry about it. Also even if you are on H4 if you were previously on H1 it may be easy to convince a future employer (if need arises) to process H1 for you.
    Regarding the question of looking at working women and feeling they have interesting lives and money in the bank, well, I do not. See, I have worked for over 15 years in various capacity in IT. I have made good money and we have a nice house, a smart child, my hubby's income is more than enough for our family of three and to support our respective families etc. So, the fact that working women have money does not really make me feel envious of them.

    As for interesting life - it depends on your personality. Some people find housework boring and mundane. But depending on the hobbies you develop / indulge it can become very interesting and creative. Also if you are actively involved in your child's PTA, do volunteer work on the side, etc, it can be very interesting as you will meet new people, make new friends, expand your horizons etc. One of my friends is a good painter but she never had time to indulge in artistic pursuit when she was employed. Now she is a full time housewife and a full time artist!!!!! She also sells some of her art work and makes money on the side although she mostly paints for a creative outlet!!! On the other hand, my sil (hubby's sister) was a housewife for exactly three months before she went back to work. She couldn't deal with being at home full time. So it really depends on you.

    But one thing I would suggest is - and common mistake people make is - they underestimate their expenses, over-state their ability to live on one income, then when living on single income becomes difficult, the wife or husband (whoever chooses to stay home) is forced to go back to work. So, to make sure this does not happen to you, practice living on your hubby's income only for a few months. This also involves budgeting for savings, budget for sending money to his parents and yours, for funding retirement accounts, college funds for the child etc. Remember that all this will only be on your hubby's income if you are at home. So you may have to redraw your budget and see if you will able to adjust to scaled down income. This is realistic and practical thing to do. Also, make sure he has good health insurance through this employer. Generally, this is one thing people overlook and health insurance is very important perk so don't casually dismiss it.

    Lastly while living on one income boost your savings. If you have any outstanding loans like car loans, student loan etc, pay it off before you become one income family so that you won't have to worry about these when only he is working. These are financial preparations to becoming one income family.

    Now practical preparation is for you to take a 3-week or month long vacation and spending it in your own home!!! This will tell you if you can handle the life of a housewife!!! My sil couldn't handle it after first month and immediately started job hunting again and went back to full time job within 3 months!!!!!!!! Make sure this doesn't happen to you.

    Good luck, dear. If you are prepared, then the life of a housewife can be very very fulfilling. All the best to you!!!
     
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2010
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  2. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    SS

    Before this thread takes divertion on what are benefits of being a house wife/working woman, Please browse through the Working Woman forum Working Women - IndusLadies for more information as there are several threads which dealt with similar topics

    Also If your husband is ready with any option on whther you can work / stay at home, I guess now the onus is on you as to what do you want? There are always positive and negative sides to every situation...But you have to choose depending on what suits you and your lifestyle and your family interests.

    I thought your question was whether your husband would be willing tohelp around home with kids/chores if you stop working as he had been illtreating you the first time when you were at home not working. Did you clarify these issues/points with your husband on whether he would be helpful and understanding about him sharing some of the chores at home? whether he would be able to appreciate you being a house wife? that was the bottomline worry for you isnt it??
     
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2010
  3. motherland

    motherland New IL'ite

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    i am totally agree with flowerlady. i have same issue like yours.
     
  4. ub40

    ub40 New IL'ite

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    I am a single Indian (stayin' in USA) and nagged by my mom every day to get married since I crossed 30....and I would rather have a homemaker than a working woman...

    I am a MCP as certified by my lady friends -- and do believe a woman can sorta do well at office, but a man cannot be a homemaker who is devoid of weekends and public holidays, a ladder to climb and worse work for something bigger than his ego(family) :p

    ..the word homemaker is extremely important as it doesnt mean a cook or a free childcare staff :) but someone who makes a home(a house with a family) devoted full time ....problem of lack of appreciation arises when the definition is messed up with money and quality of service :)

    my mom is a pretty bad cook and a real good homemaker, and I dont think I am any less grateful to her than my earning father--nor she has any less accomplishments to show in her resume, I have seen her take a leadership role in our family and
    with fair share of flaws she didnt doo worse than executives I have met :p

    but a stay at home woman who stays at home deserves o appreciation :D, I doubt if the people asking the question belong to that group anyway
     
    Last edited: Jun 14, 2012
  5. freddycat

    freddycat Platinum IL'ite

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    Re: Stay-at-Home Women

    It is the true statement, regardless DW is SAHM or not and it is my experience.
     
  6. luv2smile

    luv2smile Silver IL'ite

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    I am not sure if my husband really Appreciates my work at home. He likes me to work and does not care much of about home. He feels all that will get adjusted somehow...i don't know how though.. He prefers me to work because he feels i must have a career in life and not feel left out.but i am 100% sure that he is not at all money minded. though i would also like to work ,i get scared when i think i have to manage a kid and home ! i have had arguments with him on this and now there are financial commitments which i feel that I should contribute and have started looking out for work.
     

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