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Do Curses By Elders Actually Come True?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Needtobestrong, May 12, 2021.

  1. Thoughtful

    Thoughtful Gold IL'ite

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    One kind suggestion is to change your nickname from "Needtobestrong" to "Iamstrong".

    It doesn't matter what others tell about us, but it matters what we tell ourselves. Believe in yourself, you have one life to live and live it with conviction.

    Everytime you look at your post and your id, you will remind yourself that "IamStrong".
     
  2. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    I understand how important career is for you but if your husband gives you respect or others give you respect because of that and do not see your worthy for any other things..problem is with them and that is what has to be addressed.

    Your first five people in your life should love and respect you.Rest of the world do not matter.

    Next two years if you go for a job,they will be respectful and again if u quit..respect will go? Is that right?

    But if u want to fulfill other desires like vacations or other things important to you or u want to personally feel good for sure it is fine.those reasons are valid.

    However..relying on everything external for confidence is not always right as one can never be at peace in later years.

    It is covid time unfortunately but maybe u can try for work at home jobs?that might help.

    Also,stop comparing yourself with others and panic attacks and anxiety comes only when one does not accept when they cannot control external factors plus compare a lot.

    how do u know the other people u wish to be like is happy and confident?if so..why do many suffer so many illness and mental health?So quit comparison.

    you have your own strengths and capacity.

    change can only begin when you change your mindset.It begins in your mind.

    been there..quit comparisons...life has never been better.

    people will treat u the way u allow them to treat u.Once u change..life changes.

    try it.
     
  3. chanchitra

    chanchitra Gold IL'ite

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    Wow. Anika987. You have become very confident now.keep it up.:cheer:
     
  4. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Thank you dear :)
     
    chanchitra likes this.
  5. WannabValerie

    WannabValerie Silver IL'ite

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    Like someone said, its domestic abuse.

    Can you just take your kids ( no school isnt it) and leave to your parents?
    Tell you DH clearly that it is 100% because of his mother disrespecting you so you are leaving because you need a break. Also tell him that if anyone asks the reason thenyou will explain them everything openly beacuse that is the truth ( these people usually see realtives as Gods)

    The problem is two fold;
    1.your self worth being your job so presently- no job=no self worth ( this is literally the best kind of torture mothers can give themselves)
    2. Your mil knows your formula so she is just putting this statemnt ( no job=no worth)out in bold for you.

    She will sell it until you buy it.

    She is doing it becuause well she can, even if she cant stand up for herself, her son will.

    You shouldnt count on someone else to stand up for you, its not good for your mental health. You will go the bitter way like your MIL if you do.

    Oh about your original question: If they did, most of us dils would be trampled by an elephant bitten by a snake and ripped apart by griffins all at the same time... so no.They dont.
     
    Last edited: May 13, 2021
  6. EagerForInfo

    EagerForInfo Silver IL'ite

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    This is not true.. My husband never helped when I was working either.. Instead he challenged me yelling kids are hungry when he used to come home before me. He challenged me and waited for me to fail so he could call his mohter to stay and help us.. If your husband is good no matter the situation they will be good.. But of couse if you are financially stable it is good for you... Don't expect anything from hubby or inlaws.. there will be more problems saying your keeping all teh money to urself.. and they will again leave you with nothing. What are your qualifications? Seems like they thought they would get rich immediately marrying you.
     
    Needtobestrong and Thyagarajan like this.
  7. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 IL Hall of Fame

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    Why do you fear? Corona is not as deadly as it is projected by the media. I got corona when baby was 3month. My aged parents got and were admitted. Dad is diabetic and every second I kept worrying how he is gonna fight the virus.My sibling, her kid, my close friends, so many of my pregnant friends, mothers of small babies all got corona and so far all fought successfully. Even if you get covid I'm sure u can fight it provided you come out of your fear and stay positive. So dont worry about fear of corona. Take a pen n paper and write down what scares you about covid?
    Like fear of you contacting, fear of your loved ones testing positive, fear of losing closed one?? What ever fears you write it down n adjacent to that write down what you can do for that. This small exercise should help you that only having fear of covid won't help you nor your near n dear ones.

    Train your mind to see positive things. Go to positivity thread and start your 100 days positive challenge.
    The challenging part is when you are facing hardships that's when you should start your journel in that thread. It helps you immensely trust me. It has worked for me.. .. Stop worrying and focus on tangible things which you can control
     
  8. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    :hello:My suggestion is that Do not pay heed to the curse. By ignoring those curse words from elders you would save mental energy for proper planning and execution of other jobs routine or otherwise.

    Curses if it is believed then the mind of the believer would programme negatively and a mind gripped in constant fear is sure to go haywire causing disasters.

    If elders anniversaries are not performed, it is said that they would curse from heaven or hell(?). No parents would like disaster for their children.
    At worst, curse can affect only psychologically the weak and the meek.

    Curses are used only to release pent up anger and it might give queer satisfaction to the person cursing others. For some it is their way of life.

    They say black tongue people curse would affect instantly. There is no such think as black tongue.

    I know a DIL in our neighbourhood highly educated but trapped in a marriage with two kids. Her PILs & BIL & SIL all Full of sloth and lazy persons. But this DIL is just happy. Even her hubby too is not cooperative.

    I asked her the magic that keeps her cheerful. She took from her vanity bag and showed me a small bundle of cotton. She said she would surprise her MIL often with this. She explained: as soon as MIL stops yelling, SHE WOULD TAKE OUT THE LONG COTTON Strips one after another from her ears!
    c’est la vie’ Life is like that.
     
  9. EagerForInfo

    EagerForInfo Silver IL'ite

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    And even if you get a job you will not get the help you had before when you were working, maids , servants to help with cutting etc etc.. it will be same life mostly work from home and in addition to house work you will have job to do.. Grass is greener on the other side..

    But of course, if your husband did treat you better when you were working nothing wrong in working once this COVID is over.
     
    Needtobestrong likes this.
  10. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    It oops like a mismatch response. My quote and response .....
     

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