Dnt feel like talking to Inlaws

when they came to visit your son they will expect you to pay for everything. I mean everything/ All shopping, gifts they take to india...( In most cases in is general we do pay for everything since they are our family)

You could have handled it in a different way. When she didn't say anything to you directly you could have ignored her words with out discussing it with DH. Next time although she asks you directly for gold gifts...etc tell her to check with her son.

You didn't do anything wrong but you could have handled it in a different way and avoided that fight infront of IL's. Well we do get better after some incidents like this.

If you don't feel like talking to them don't talk until you feel better and tell your DH to give you some time to forget and forgive.

 

Lesson no 1: Never tell your husband how much, what, where should he spend on his parents (unless it is something so big that your household will collapse). Leave it to his discretion. It always backfires on us.
Lesson 2: Never fight with your husband in front of in-laws.
Lesson 3: when husband hands over the phone to talk, shake your head silently and go in other room. Make it clear to him you will talk only when there is a reason. (My DH is also one such fool who does not understand that sometimes it is better not to talk rather than open the mouth to fight.)
Lesson 4: Never expect husbands to take your side against in-laws. Prepare to fight your own battle.

 

Chill out wife 1. SIL not married ! But coming to US to take care of your baby.FUNNy! She is coming for vacation,not to take care of you n your newborn.If possible try to manage alone, at least your hubby can help you in the beginning weeks, rather than inviting problems in the name of SIL. I know difficult to manage but at least peace of mind will be there,why don you try to invite from your side, hopefully your parents will cum only to take care of you & baby only .

 

If he's the only son... then u'll have to talk to them sooner or later.
Why draw boundries which u'll have to cross over and then stress urself for doing things u din't want to.

Vent out on these threads.. wish them on special occassions with formal 1 min Hi n Bi and Happy...... leave it if you're really angry.. but someday when you really can.. do call.. but then never extend this hatred for a permanent closure on communication... they're not frndz who have hurt u and can be shooed off.... they'll remain a perinneal part of your life directly or indirectly.

 

If you have time please read my previous posts..

They are your husbands parents you should not be saying anything bad about them to him... If he wants to spend money on them let him.. You have to realize that from birth of your hubby till he is able to earn the credit goes to his parents they nurtured him and made him capable for you and your kid/kids. Think it this way if it was your parents would u have not spent money on them.. I know they can never be like your parents but just adjust for your husband.. Now adjustment doesnt mean for EVERYTHING only for things that can make the environment peaceful !

I remember i fought with my hubby too when we were living with my in laws and my fil yelled at me as it was my fault and it was not.. I just let it go.. Just LET GO!!

About talking to them on the phone everyday.. believe it or not i use to do it everyday as my hubby would call them everyday.. It was so difficult for me to talk everyday but i got use to it.. You talk to them everyday and watch with time if one day u don't talk they will realize that u r not around and they will ask for you...

The bottom line here is just DO YOUR DUTIES, do it for your husband at least he will appreciate your efforts. and eventually he will stand up for you!!

 

Inlaws are not in the US anymore. Focus on mending your strained relations with your husband....I know it's hurts a LOT when ur husband doesn't stand up for you. How long were they in the US? Do you work? If you do, they must have looked after the child when u went to work? That must have saved you a few thousands in child care? I am not saying its reasonable for them to be greedy, but just one way of justifying (to yourself)the expense....if you are a housewife, your mil is a greedy leech....I have nothing to say!

Gold is very expensive these days....ppl of our parents generation are so obsessed with gold....just so unbelievable! My mom was telling me the other day - a neighbour's son and DIL sponsored a US trip for the parents and grand father (6months), bought them laptops, a car and mil got 100gms gold as a gift for Diwali....the son-DIL are not super duper rich people...they graduated abt 3yrs ago (got married 2yrs ago)....I am sure the son was very happy to do this for his parents. Do you think the daughter in law would have been happy with ALL this (and more demands)? No! She is perhaps shutting up for mental peace sake....I am wondering how this son will be - after they have a child!

Maintain minimum relations with inlaws....don't give them too much importance.....

 

I am sorry, but this justification is VERY annoying.

Children are raised with pride, not like a duty. Parenting is a responsibility - not an investment. I hate greedy parents who treat their sons like a golden goose. And then call it 'love'....

Also, gift is what someone gives voluntarily.....demands are demands....thy are not gifts!

I am 100% sure OP would have thought the same way if it was her parents trying to blood suck.

 

next time if inlaws blmaeed thaat u r not keeping son's happy...tell them to ask him directly.....or ask ur husband in front of ur in laws ...r u not happy....in smilling way......next time they will not say anything.....if they demand.....telll them u should also return me some gift same as the amount...smillling .....telll them in relation give and take should be der....if u only gave then ...there will be no relation...

 

Absolutely, you should have handled it sweetly OP, you should have told MIL - its a custom to gift DIL a gold set on the birth of the grandchild....

Did they give u gold for ur baby shower?