Diwali Is Not Yet Over! Be Ready For Another Gift From Your Friend!

varalotti · Oct 22, 2006

Two of my friends (women) suggested a book to me independently. To me all those who suggest good books to read, are my teachers, my Gurus.

And as luck would have it I had to undertake a 9 hour car-trip on the Diwali eve. That book made an interesting travel companion and an enlightening master too.

A brief introduction to that book and some notable excerpts from it constitute my second Deepavali gift to the Most Gracious ILites.

The name of the book is “Why Men Don’t Listen and Women Cant Read Maps.” The authors are Allan and Barbara Pease. The book talks about the different psychological make-up of men and women.

The book in its 290 pages of enjoyable reading supported by scientific studies and references the names of which run into a dozen pages underlines the fact that men and women are created differently and by that paradoxical process it emphasises the fact that men and women are equal.

Men and women, the book tells us, are so different that members of the two different sexes living together is equivalent to a Republican and Democrat being in the same political platform or to use our local equivalent, like the DMK and the ADMK forming a political allegicance or the Congress forming a coalition with the BJP.

Any marriage is like that; but once we get an insight into the fundamental differences we tend to appreciate the differences, understand the other sex and start living a happy life.

Apart from delivering a poweful message the book is full of very humorous quotes which is quite a bonanza.

To those who by this time would be tired from Diwali celebration and to those who are preparing themselves for the oncoming Id reading this excerpts would be a refreshing experience. Here we go:

 Women who go to a toilet as strangers can come out as best friends and lifelong buddies. But everyone would be instantly suspicious of the man who called out, “Hey, Frank, I’m going to the toilet. You wanna come with me?”

Under pressure men drink alchohol and invade other countries; women eat chocolate and go shopping.

Men want to have sex; women want to make love.

Men can never find a pair of socks; but their CDs are in alphabetical order.

“My wife can see a blonde hair on my coat from twenty feet, but she hits the garage door when she parks the car.”

A woman knows her children’s friends, hopes, dreams, romances, secret fears, what they are thinking, how they are feeling and usually what mischief they are plotting. Men are vaguely aware of some short people also living in the same house.

A man will use basic colour descrptions like red, blue and green but a woman will talk of bone, aqua, teal, mauve and apple green.

Tests show that women rate three pecent higher in general intelligence than men.

It is obvious that women are smarter than men. Think about it – diamonds are a girl’s best friend; man’s best friend is a dog – John Rivers.

Men often choose greeting cards with plenty of words inside. That way, there’s less space for them to write.

Men can mentally index their problems and put them on hold. Women churn.

“Once I didn’t talk to my wife for six months” said the comedian. “I didn’t want to interrupt.”

Men may be able to find their way from A to B via a maze of back streets, but put them in the middle of a group of women discussing a number of topics at the same time, and they get completely lost.

If a woman is talking to you a lot, she likes you. If she’s not talking to you, you’re in trouble.

To get a man to listen, give him advance notice and provide an agenda.

The majority of women have limited spatial liability. That is why 100% of Flight Engineers, 99.8% of racing drivers, 98.3% of nuclear engineers, 99.2% of pilots 94% of air traffic controllers 91% of architects and 83% of accountants (well ladies that’s my profession) are men. This does not mean that women have failed; it only means that women have failed to be like men.

Why did Moses spend 40 years wandering in the desert? He refused to ask for directions.

If a woman is unhappy in her relationships she can’t concentrate on her work. If a man is unhappy at work he can’t focus on his relationships.

Men hate criticism – that’s why they like to marry virgins.

Most men get a brain haemorrhage after 20 minutes of shopping.

Ninety percent of people in prison are men.

Homosexuality is a genetical predisposition. No amount of training and no way of upbringing can change or even mitigate the effects of such a predisposition. Homosexuality and lesbianism are not choices but the effect of genes.

A woman wants lots of sex with the man she loves. A man wants lots of sex.

Sex is the price women pay for marriage; marriage is the price men pay for sex.

(Excerpts from WHY MEN DON’T LISTEN AND WOMEN CANT READ MAPS by ALLAN AND BARBARA PEASE)

Dedication: This post is dedicated to my friends who recommended, no, strongly insisted that I should read it straightaway.

Regards,
Varalotti

Chitvish · Oct 22, 2006

I dedicate this to the men in my life !

Dear Sridhar,
These are my personal observations from my own experience with my father, husband and son. I have not taken them from any book.

In an argument, man is hurt about what was said to him.
Woman is generally more hurt by how, it was said to her.

A woman is pleased more by the gesture – a gift of a even a simple rose makes her happy.
Man goes by the value of the gift – gestures are insignificant to him.

A man is generally ashamed, if he is grieving.
A woman grieves to avoid anger and hurt.

A man’s silence, very often, threatens a woman.
A woman’s silence gives peace to a man.

A man does not like to be talked to, when he is upset.
A woman needs to be talked to more, particularly when she is upset.

A man goes away from a woman, if he has a problem. He does not like to be comforted.
A woman wants her man to come closer to her and comfort her, when she has a problem.

A man prefers autonomy.
A woman prefers intimacy.

A man wants more and more space in a relationship.
A woman wants more and more closeness in a relationship.

A man is more interested in financial needs.
A woman gives more importance to emotional needs.

A man needs to be admired and appreciated.
A woman needs devotion and respect.

A man needs to be encouraged.
A woman loves to be reassured.

All said and done,
A man cannot live without her woman.
A woman needs her man for her very existence.

Love & regards,
Chithra.

safa · Oct 22, 2006

Hi Sridhar,
Every time you bring something different to read..
It was a great post...really enjoyed..most of them are true..but not ready to agree all.( it is the strange behaviour of some women. If I didn't write some , some women might get angry towards me..)
will try to get the book and read....
there comes our Chithra, as usual , with her wise own words..Adipoli!

meenu · Oct 22, 2006

That book?

Dear varalotti,
My son-in-law has the bookyou mentioned and we all read it, Yes, It is Good time pass on a tired Diwali night. But Chithras word are true, aren't they?
Regards,

Varloo · Oct 23, 2006

Dear Sridhar,
the excerpts from the book is very interesting, I too feel that I should read the book. And as usual Chithra had come up with her excellent version in a nutshell. After all, experience speaks well, isn't it?
But I have a doubt which is eating me for a long time. Only women read such books, listen to counselling people on tv programmes, read such articles. Men get offended if they are asked to read such articles, Why?
And one thing I will say. If my son says he is not well, I will worry about his health and my husband will worry that our son is losing time.
In the film Vassol Raja MBBS, Kamal will say to his mother, "When I returned aftr many years wealthy, I thought father will ask me how I was. But he asked me what I was doing. So I had to lie to him that I was a doctor". This is what mostly happens with fathers.
(I have said 'men' generally, there are very few exceptions like yourselves.)

Kamla · Oct 24, 2006

A Deepawali pattasu!

Dear Sridhar,

As usual, you did not forget your IL'ites and gave us all a timely gift to add to our Diwali festivities. With you here, we have our own Anandavikatan and Kumudams, that too, special editions! I enjoyed the quoted excerpts.... Chitra ofcourse added her own dose of expertise to it. Just keep them coming.....

L, Kamla

rajeswary · Oct 24, 2006

hi chith

Hi Chith ,
U should allow me give my small opinion :

Varalotti = ' kadhai '

Chitvish = ' kavidhai ' !

Am I right Ilites?

with regards ,

Rajeswary.

rajeswary · Oct 24, 2006

hi sridhar

Hi Sridhar ,

I' ve become ur great fan !
the way u write
the way u express ur views
the polite way u address Ilites
U r really great Sridhar !
God bless u !

With regards ,

Rajeswary.

meenaprakash · Oct 24, 2006

it was romantic in a way.....

Hello Sridhar,

I was wanting to read this book but somehow just couldn't get hold of it.
Now I understand why hubby finishes shopping in 15 mins flat & now I'm happy he does it that way (brain haemorrhage scares me). the last time we'd been to blore, Deepu & myself spent half-a -day at the garuda mall but the first time we'd been there with hubby we could spend just 15 mins. I feel it is this basic difference that makes relationship between sexes very challenging but surely very interesting.

Makes me think why we do the same thing differently. I'm soooo glad that we have such differences or life would've been soooo plain & dead. It was romantic in a way cause my mind was just doing plus & minus of a lot of things that happen between me & my hubby & finally it all makes sense now.

Another interesting post. wonderful excerpts. need to know more about this species called, MAN So gonna grraaaaab the book at the earliest.

meenaprakash · Oct 24, 2006

tooo good, CV

Chitra, as usual your insights on the subject were the best. I need to spend sometime reading your mail alone cause it's toooo goood and .......................... HOW TRUE ??????