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Divorce

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by Rajapriyaa, May 31, 2021.

  1. Rajapriyaa

    Rajapriyaa New IL'ite

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    Hi Ladies,
    I am single parented child, my father has second family and we don't have any connection with him. My mom raised me by working hard (she used to prepare and sell sweets)

    I finished engg, got job in MNC and got married to this guy. Marrying him is the worst decision I ever made in my life. His family is full of money minded, and there were lot many physical and verbal abuses from him and his family. From the second month of marriage itself they started talking about divorce.

    I believed things will change, but nothing changed at all. Meanwhile I became mom to 2 wonderful kids. He wasn't good father also. He is not ready to spend even a penny for kids. So right from marriage it's all me who is taking care of home and kids. Because of all his abusive nature, and no one at his home to take care of kids while am away for work, I decided to move back to my mom house.
    I told him not to come to my mom house as he beaten up my mom also on the street. We filed police complaint. Then I got onsite opportunity and I travelled to onsite leaving behind the kids with mom as he was not ready to sign the papers to take the kids with me.
    He sent mails to my two employers to fire me, sent mail to police in whichever country am working, he took my bank statement illegally thru his friend working in that bank to see how much am earning, and all abusive mails to me even cursing kids also, and himself/his mom planned for second marriage as well.
    I didn't proceed for divorce because I didn't want my kids to grow up like me without father. But after going thru all this, I started divorce process recently. I don't know whether this is right, but I feel like he should suffer for what he has done to me and my kids.
    Need your advice how to overcome this.
     
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  2. chanchitra

    chanchitra Gold IL'ite

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    Thank God, Atleast now you started the divorce process.
    It's better for the kids also not to live with an abusive father.
    Consult a good lawyer. Get custody of your kids.
    Get child support from him.
    Hope you get more information here
     
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  3. Tubinbataye

    Tubinbataye Gold IL'ite

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    Sorry for what you're going through. You want divorce and live separately with kids or you want to make him suffer with divorce notice and expecting a change in behavior?
     
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  4. Rajapriyaa

    Rajapriyaa New IL'ite

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    I am living seperately with my kids and mom for the last 6 years, now initiated divorce to close this legally as well, divorce is not gonna make any difference in my life as am already taking care of my home and kids independently. Divorce notice or process will not change his behaviour for sure. It's just the fact that I have to go through all the pain in this relationship but he gets to live as he wants. He never had any responsibility, never took care of kids, always abusive and after doing all this to us, without any guilt/loss he is enjoying his life. I don't know whether am reacting too much, but deep down it hurts when the person ruined your life enjoys his life.
     
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  5. Tubinbataye

    Tubinbataye Gold IL'ite

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    This kinda person will not leave you that easily,he may play all dirty games to give you more problems. How old are your kids? Try talking to his side close relatives about these on going issues. Involve them all and see, not to mend but to relieve on mutual consent. If not,Physical violence, negligence , parenting could be a strong ground for divorce. He will definitely contest(he seems to be enjoying torturing you) you'll have to bare the physical, emotional and financial drain. Stay strong, this is a big world!
     
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  6. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

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    Do you really think your kids need this kind of a father?

    He hit your mom in the street?My blood is boiling reading this..

    You do not even need to reconsider your decision.

    This situation needs divorce.

    Karma will hit him for sure someday.
     
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  7. Mistt

    Mistt IL Hall of Fame

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    Finally, you took a right decision of taking divorce:beer-toast1::clap2:. Your kids don't need this the worst father on this world. You and your's kids deserve the best life. So, leave his thoughts and him. All the best to your bright future.
     
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  8. swiss

    swiss Gold IL'ite

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    Right decision, do not think twice . But be mentally prepared for all the games he might play during the divorce process. If possible make a clause in the divorce that your children can live abroad with you.
     
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  9. lavani

    lavani Finest Post Winner

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    plan for full custody. you should have filed Section498a if you are in india on domestic violence. it is better to be alone than to act married and live in depression.

    do not worry too much about future.
     
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  10. Rajapriyaa

    Rajapriyaa New IL'ite

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    Hi Ladies,
    Thanks for the replies and strength. It means a lot to me. Believe me, in the current situation my mind is occupied with more of negative things about future..but these replies give me mental strength and some hope about my future.
    Hope will finish this legally soon and will be free of this tension soon. Thanks again ladies
     
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