1. Have an Interesting Snippet to Share : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Divorce - No more a Social Stigma

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by iyerviji, Jan 15, 2009.

Page 1 of 2
  1. Jan 15, 2009 #1
    iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    34,596
    Likes Received:
    28,767
    Trophy Points:
    640
    Gender:
    Female
    Marriage is a convenience rather than need.Now a days some people don’t want to get married and some if they get married they don’t stay together long. Some get engaged and go out together and during that time if theydont like something of their partner they say they don’t want to get married.

    Recently I have come across many cases like that. My husband’s cousin’s daughters want the bride groom to be well educated and having a good job as they are double graduates. Since they are not getting of their choice they are not getting married. The parents have to hear from others that why don’t you make them understand that don’t see only education if they are well settled let them get married. The daughters say why should they blame our parents we are not interested in getting married if they are not well educated.

    My friend’s son is in US. He was going to get married to a girl from US only. But before marriage he came to know that she is freindlywith another person. So cancelled his marriage.
    Next time his marriage was fixed and before marriage she had gone for party and came late.
    He told her not to come late in thenight. The girl likes going out and when he restricted shedid not like and the marriage was cancelled after making all the arrangements.

    In another case the boy and the girl after marriage stayed only for six months together. They had some problem with eachother. But the girl was not interested in giving divorce unless the boy’s side give her all the amount which she spent for marriage. Because of that the divorce got delayed by 2 years and finally they got divorced.

    My son’s friends also got married and in a short time wanted toget divorce. In the near future Ithink there will be less marriages. Everyone will be single only. When young they wont need anyone but when they grow old they will need someone as they will not have the strength to face life alone.
    May God Bless these people and make them good.

    Viji
     
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2009
    iyerviji, Jan 15, 2009
    iyerviji, Jan 15, 2009
    #1
    Loading...

    Similar Threads
    1. Reesha

      One More Divorce Due To In-laws

      Reesha, Jun 30, 2020, in forum: Relationship With In-Laws
      Replies:
      1
      Views:
      1,666
      ImHuman
      Jun 30, 2020
    2. ProudIndian

      What Questions To Ask Divorce Lawyer In First Meeting

      ProudIndian, Jul 20, 2023, in forum: Life Without Spouse
      Replies:
      10
      Views:
      2,256
      SuiDhaaga
      Jul 22, 2023
    3. EagerForInfo

      Please Suggest Best Divorce Lawyer In Usa

      EagerForInfo, Jan 7, 2023, in forum: General Discussions
      Replies:
      26
      Views:
      2,806
      DDream
      Jan 17, 2023
  2. Jan 15, 2009 #2
    Devika Menon

    Devika Menon Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    3,056
    Likes Received:
    55
    Trophy Points:
    130
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear Viji,

    Good food for thought here.

    Well yes now the outlook towards divorces are far changing. Divorcees are no longer the stigmatised lot of the society.

    I guess when marriage restricts happiness and growth and becomes stifling and beyond all repairs then the exit way is the only answer.

    And also there are very many who settle for divorces by mutual consent that create an ugly end.

    Well the perceptions regarding this are fast changing. And acceptance is definitely doing a lot of good to those that have gone through this experience.

    Good post Viji.

    Love,
    Devika
     
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2009
    Devika Menon, Jan 15, 2009
    Devika Menon, Jan 15, 2009
    #2
  3. Jan 15, 2009 #3
    Bujji

    Bujji Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    897
    Likes Received:
    8
    Trophy Points:
    40
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear Viji,

    Yeah , divorces are becoming common now.
    Please allow me to pour my thoughts here.

    When i see people who are suffering from marriage, i feel being single is better than that. Why to marry a person and to live for him and for his family? What is the purpose of one's own life then?

    Let say Sudha has 2 choices.Love and arranged marriage.
    If her parents are broad minded, they would allow her to marry her beloved and hope she lives her life happily. Here i assume that, since she understands her DH, she would be happy with his family too.

    If her parents are conservative, she is allowed to choices given by parents. Respecting them , she is now bonded with a stranger. Suppose, if he is a very bad companion or unable to tolerate, then what is the question of leading a life with him? This may happen in LM too, but less probability.

    Viji, these are my questions as well as thoughts.
    Could you please answer me? :)
     
    Bujji, Jan 15, 2009
    Bujji, Jan 15, 2009
    #3
  4. Jan 15, 2009 #4
    Mindian

    Mindian IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    6,330
    Likes Received:
    3,346
    Trophy Points:
    355
    Gender:
    Female
    dear viji,

    yes, divorce is no longer a social stigma..because they have become quite common....
    today both girl and boy being educated,confident and financially independent why live in a marriage where both are unhappy....
    but i do admire the girl who did not give the divorce until she got back the wedding expenses Big Laugh
    love
    Mindi
     
    Mindian, Jan 15, 2009
    Mindian, Jan 15, 2009
    #4
  5. Jan 15, 2009 #5
    shvap_786

    shvap_786 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    5,847
    Likes Received:
    163
    Trophy Points:
    183
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear Viji..

    Good one... really wanted post at this time.. even i know so many like this around know circle or through know circle.. some times feel bad about the situation...
     
    shvap_786, Jan 15, 2009
    shvap_786, Jan 15, 2009
    #5
  6. Jan 15, 2009 #6
    aishu22

    aishu22 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,598
    Likes Received:
    112
    Trophy Points:
    160
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear Viji Aunty,
    Firstly Happy Pongal to you!

    A well timed blog.A lot has been talked about it.The only solution for this is,peopel need to be more open and honest enough.

    Whether its arranged/love marriage , so many facts are hidden about the boy and his behaviours and in this crazy world, all people want only NRI bride grooms and after wedding they complain that the boy's character is not good ..blah blah.....This holds good for girls too these days...I'm not saying all..but there are some. Either it lands in Divorce or Fatal.

    Had lost my mother's cousin sis's daughter to one of these dirty marriage politics.The girl is exactly my age and we both got married the same year...She hanged herself to death :-( Is 25 years an age to die?

    Aunty, in the suicidal note she wrote that her DH should not even perform the last rites for her...just think how much she was troubled...phew...

    Sorry to digress aunty,but her death has haunted me so much.

    Bottom line:- We need more open minded and fair means in these marriages.
     
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2009
    aishu22, Jan 15, 2009
    aishu22, Jan 15, 2009
    #6
  7. Jan 15, 2009 #7
    Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    13,153
    Likes Received:
    5,818
    Trophy Points:
    545
    Gender:
    Male
    Dear Viji,

    A very relevant topic well told by u.

    the examples u have given are like happening everywhere.

    When i married, i was not a graduate, but Harsha was, but that was ok with us.

    In the olden days, everyone wanted to marry Dharmendra, but there can be only one Hema Malini, is it not ?

    We have unrealistic dreams of our dream partners, and hecne we land disappointed.

    We hae to adjust in marriage to our spouses, in laws and their relatives.Right Viji ?

    Regards.kamal
     
    Kamalji, Jan 15, 2009
    Kamalji, Jan 15, 2009
    #7
  8. Jan 15, 2009 #8
    Jpatma

    Jpatma Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,550
    Likes Received:
    12
    Trophy Points:
    68
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear Viji,
    You said it right. Since there is no stigma attached to divorce, the rate of divorce has escalated. There are many contributory factor 1) education and financially independent 2) infuence of west 3) knowledge of rights 4) climbing up the financial status by hook or crook 5) changes in values

    Women/men shd divorce if she/he is abused physically or life is intolerant. But it is absurd to divorce for reasons like snoring, sleeping with open mouth, unable to dress stylishly, unable to socialize, insufficient earnings, presence of mom/dad in law, no more attractive, socially incompatible, sexual disatisfaction etc etc.

    I suppose it will be good to enter marriage that no man/woman is perfect ,& lead life of live and let live , tolerance and adaptability. Most marriages are smooth sailing, adjustments from both partners are necessary. Divorce shd last resort to solve the problems, since by divorce at times not only the individual ,children if any are affected too.
    May God bless you.
    Jaya
     
    Jpatma, Jan 15, 2009
    Jpatma, Jan 15, 2009
    #8
  9. Jan 15, 2009 #9
    iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    34,596
    Likes Received:
    28,767
    Trophy Points:
    640
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear Devika

    Thank you for the first fb. I feel if both adjust to each other and understand each other then marriage will be a success.

    I agree to what youhave written. Now a days some girls have a certain expectation from their partner and if they dont get it they dont feel like living with them.

    love
    viji

     
    iyerviji, Jan 15, 2009
    iyerviji, Jan 15, 2009
    #9
  10. Jan 15, 2009 #10
    iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    34,596
    Likes Received:
    28,767
    Trophy Points:
    640
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear Bujji

    I think both the parties should sort out the matter among themselves and adjust with each other. There will be likes and dislikes should not give importance to that. In olden times there were no love marriages only arranged marriages those people have lived happily because they adjusted with their partner. What we want in life we dont get it , so should be happy with what we get. I dont know whether I was able to answer your questions.

    love
    viji


     
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2009
    iyerviji, Jan 15, 2009
    iyerviji, Jan 15, 2009
    #10
Page 1 of 2

Share This Page