Divorce is only solution please help..?

Tashsin · Mar 6, 2013

I really love my husband and I really don't want to live without him...:drowning but my PIL use to call him on every weekend and says some nasty things for me and for my parents....so my husbands go crazy every weekend we had a big fight now he started beating me....he use to beat me so often....last time one week back..I had internal bleeding in my stomach and I was in pain badly.....he love me a lot but he want to prove himself in front of his parents that he is man of house....and he trust them blindly....
Situation is...
1-I am not in contact with any of my family mambers even with my relatives because he don want me to talk with anyone..and DH don't have time for me..BCz of his work...
2- he love me a lot...but if he really love me how can he slap me and beat me with his legs.....now I am not sure he love me or not..
3- his parents I hate them and never want to see them because they are master minder of this whole drama...they say nasty things to DH and because he love his parents he trust them..they heve one more son married for 11yrs+ but have no connection with elder son and his wife from 11yrs..but after fighting with me they are talking with them...
4- I want to end my life with suiside but I am worried for my 16 month old son...
5- I can't live after divorce because I love DH a lot thatz why I am with him .....after all this...
6- I feel he is taking my exam by doing all this violence...I don't know whatz in his mind...
7- suddenly one day midnight he called my mom and said that he want me to send India and he will send divorce paper soon...so often he said me..that he can send me back to my parents house if I don't live within his rules....
Whenever all this happen Itz weekend and he is drunk but on day in morning he beat me for 30 minutes around 20-24slaps...I had big scars on my face and body for a week...I never tell all this to anyone....but now I am fed up and scared..I want to live him but not in this way....:rant
8-we are in Singapore for 4 years now suddenly my husband is planing to settle in Indian I am afraid that in Singapore my PIL are calling him and we are fighting because of them and he is beating me..if we settle in Indian they visit us so often and I don't know what new drama they will creat or they can give me poison... I am so my afraid from my PIL....I mean I am scared with them...and with my husband with his violent behaviour...
About DH- he is so busy with his job travel a lot....have ltz of work pressure...office politics...mad parents...
About PIL- they are putting wrong statements on me and pumping DH thatz why he beat me and fight with me..
About me- I try my best to adjust with inlawz in my 9 month stay with them but I had a fight with them after that my life is like hell....I am crying-2 DH beat me ofenly fight with me,I can't talk with anyone..even I can't share my situation and problem with anyone..because my DH is damn busy with work hv no time for talk.,and if he have sometime his parents use to call him...and he is talking with them for 2-3 hrs...
My son - he is my darling just 16 month old.....
Please give your suggestion should I go for divorse or suside....?
I feel I am gonna mad soon in this situation.:bonk..I am in pain maybe I need another Gyno...

kannas · Mar 6, 2013

worried after seeing ur post... but at thi spoint a small detachment (stay away) might solve the issue...i wonder why do you want to stay with him after this much physical torture

jyotiparab · Mar 6, 2013

Please try to move out of this relationship..you are independent working and should respect yourself first

all the best

lucky2 · Mar 6, 2013

try to convince him saying your 16 month old kid is watching you both and ask him not to abuse you ..if he doesnt listen to you then you also start beating him..you have somany self defesive weapons in your kitchen..make use of them ..this is the right time..!next time it will be his turn to vent out in IL..

daisydoll · Mar 6, 2013

I really wonder that these people get their son married just to spoil a girl's life. They sometimes forgot the fact they ruin their son's (also) martial life just to take revenge on their daughter in law. Sick souls. They deserve a better treatment.

A person who really loves you cant harm/hurt you both physically/mentally. Be strong face the situation. Try to stay away with him for a short time. Do not restrict yourself talking to you parents. Divorce is not the only solution but how long you can take up these physical assaults and mental torture. You're neglecting your own well-being, You have your own life and god given precious gift, your son. Be yourself!

“Sometimes you have to LOVE people from a DISTANCE and give them the SPACE and TIME to get their MINDS right before you let them back into your LIFE.”

SGBV · Mar 6, 2013

You have repeatedly said that you love him and your your (D???)H loves you a lot. Which planet you are living my dear?

He beats you to death, beats you till you bleed, slap you for 30 mins, and slap you for 20-25 times till you get marks.
He never shares things with you, spend time with you, but he speaks with his parents for 3 hrs even though he is busy with works.

Your PILs are controlling your husband, and he in return physically abuse you... where is the love?

You love your little son, and can you physically abuse him till he bleeds? Or imagine the love your husband has on you...

Please move on.... File a police complaint in the nearby Police station. Not sure whether you are working or not, but definitely there should be a safe home for women like you in a violent homes. So, get use of them.

Move back to India, and start living with parents if you are OK with them.

Concentrate on your child, but never ever file a divorce case. Let him do that, so you won't lose any compensation. Just move out of this marriage

Mahajanpragati · Mar 6, 2013

Tashin,
you need to stand for yourself........1st stop convincing yourself that your hubby loves you & you love him............we don't beat the people we love............

secondly,stop justifying the beatings on initiation from InLaws...........its your hubby who slaps you...........your hubby who is grown up ,working man with independent thinking............if he doesn't want he can stop himself which he is not doing .............he is violent,abusive person & sooner you realise the better for you..........

move out & do it as soon as possible.............your son & you deserve better life which your hubby will never give you..............

don't convince yourself that he will improve..........he will not.......soon he will start abusing the child & the child is already have a traumatic expeience watching or hearing his mother beaten............

don't end up being yet another statistic of battered wife............love yourself 1st & get away from this animal......

manjubashini · Mar 6, 2013

First never dare to utter the word Suicide u have a such small kid how can u even think so..see innocence kids face he needs u.. dont ever think this way.. Physical violence has to be stopped at any cost say big no to physical violence. why u want take these... For what reasons he fights with u ??? After these lot how u say u have love towards as he seems to have none......

pearblossom2012 · Mar 6, 2013

GET out from there file a police report and move on somewhere far somewhere he cant find you!

attentivegirl · Mar 6, 2013

Get you son and yourself out from there and live a respectful life. No REAL MAN EVER BEAT WOMAN. Wake up and act before its too late.
you are young you can lead your life by self..u have your precious son with u, maybe god had something better stored in your life.