Divorce due to inlaws?

You all know me. I've been with my dh 6 years now, married nearly 5. My inlaws are still harassing me nonstop. My dh says "ignore it". He doesn't do anything anymore to try and stop them. When my dh was married to his first wife, he went on a month long honeymoon train trip around India with her in 2003, then another India visit in 2004, and also US trips to Key West, St. Augustine, Disney World, New Jersey, and New York City. That was from 2003-2004. In our marriage, he has brought me for a few days to St. Augustine, and one trip to Washington DC. That has been the extent of our trips from 2005-2011.

His family has recently gone on the warpath trying to get rid of me once and for all. They took my friends list off of facebook and contacted everyone we both knew telling all kinds of lies about me, like that I'm a rebound girl, a mistake, and nobody wants me. My sil was planning on coming to U.S. to see her "flesh and blooooooood" (that's what she calls my dh). My dh took my passport and copied it and sent it to her. I had enough of her bullying me and contacted the consulate asking for my passport copy to be taken out of her file as I want nothing to do with her. Now she is not coming to US and instead going to Canada where her and my dh have planned to meet.

How is that fair, that we have gone nearly nowhere in the course of our marriage, yet he is going to take time and money to go to Canada to see someone who has caused so much problems in our life?

To be honest, I've just about stopped loving him. His family is relentless and I feel like the only way to get peace in life would be to get away from him and his crazy family. Has anyone else gotten divorced mainly due to their inlaws? What hurts me most is, my dh could stand up to them and put a stop to this nonsense and save our marriage.... but he doesn't. You might think I'm about to say, "but he's a good guy and I'm sure he loves me" but NO he is not a good guy and NO he does not love me. Good men don't abuse their wives. Good men do not let others abuse their wives. And good men don't party and go binge drinking in Canada with the people who abused their wife.

He hates his job and constantly blames me for it. Everything is always my fault. I'm looking for a job right now but still got no offers. So his sister calls me up and ridicules me asking why I don't have a job, is it because I'm waiting for my certificate to come in the mail. Even hearing that, he doesn't care. He just doesn't care what they do or say.

It's hard when you wake up one day and realize that this person sleeping next to you is just a big dissapointment. I wish I had never met him. And now I'm left wondering how to pick up the pieces of my life and move on. I'm wondering why God let's such evil people like my inlaws stay alive. I'm wondering why God let me meet such a terrible person as my dh.

And I do not think of him in my mind as DEAR husband (dh), I just didn't know what else to term him in this post of mine.

 

Yeah I know. It is 100% his fault. They only get away with this because he stands by and lets it happen. He doesn't care about me at all. Not even a little bit. There is more to this story. Mentally he is not totally well. The cops came recently and tried to get him to go for mental counselling. At another job interview he went for he did not pass the mental evaluation/critical thinking test. There have been SO MANY suicides and divorces in his family I'm starting to think there him and his family have a mental illness. Suicides/attempted suicides are now at 4 (including my dh, who survived). Divorces are at 7 (again, includes my dh). And those are only the ones I KNOW about. One of his relatives was in jail and is now on the run (for dowry and shooting a **** video of himself and his mistress and sending it to his estranged wife). My dh used to be homeless and living in his car. THAT IS THE TYPE OF STUFF HIS FAMILY AND HIM THINK IS NORMAL. I cant take it anymore. His parents moved to a city just south of Mumbai and the neighbors ran them out of the neighborhood and slammed the door in my mil's face because she is EVIL. They moved to a different neighborhood and can not fit in there either. Now they are moving back to Gujarat. But get this... they can't go back to their native in Gujarat, because the village HATES them. So they have to pick some random place in Gujarat where nobody knows them. I'm not the only one who cant tolerate them, I'm just the stupid who was dumb enough to get married into that family.

 

Sri, I actually had a phone interview Friday. They said they would call me and let me know if they wanted me to come for an interview at the end of this week. As in, interview would have been Thursday/Friday. They haven't called, so obviously I'm not in the running anymore. As for other jobs, they have gone nowhere for me. My next interview is in 2 weeks, but I'm doubtful about that job.

About my dh's ex, I WISH I could forget her. But everytime they bring her up. It's like... NON STOP! His sister keeps talking about their wedding over and over and over again. I asked her to stop, I told her I didn't care, I reminded her that him and the ex have been divorced for many years now... so there is no point in talking about it. But still every chance they get, they bring her up. I'm tired of it. I'm beginning to think my dh misses his ex and that's why he lets everyone keep on talking about her.

As for whether she is good or bad... she cant be THAT bad if she put up with his family for over a year. I dont have any hard feelings against her. I just feel bad that my dh took her everywhere, did so much with her, yet for me.... nothing. He says it's becaue of money, but then why is he taking this canada trip?

I wish I could find a job. Unfortunately it's just not happening. And of course my dh and his family ridicule me constantly about that.

"You sit with your legs up"
"nobody wants you"
"you are a lazy ass"
"you've never earned a paycheck in your life"
"you are worthless"
"why dont you get up and go find a job"
"find a job find a job find a job"
"one income isn't enough, EARN SOMETHING"

when i got married, I had over $20,000 in my bank account from money my parents saved for me growing up. I spent it ALL trying to please him. now that it's gone, all he does is ridicule me to work. I WANT to work, but I'm having a trouble finding a job. In florida where I went to school and where my mom lives, I have a lot of contacts and could have gotten a job. But my dh decided to move to Washington dc in december and I dont know anyone here, so I'm starting from scratch. All he does is hound me to earn money. He wants to quit his job and sit at home, and he says he cant do that until I get a job. I wish someone would hire me.

p.s. For people telling me to get a job, I have applied from everything to accounting, to HR, to project management, I have even applied to work at starbucks, to work as a maid, blockbuster video, the mall... nobody calls me back. When I asked someone in HR why, they said with an MBA, nobody wants me for an entry level job because they'll think I'm waiting for something better. So I took my MBA off my resume to try and get a job at mcdonalds or starbucks. Still, nobody called me. This sounds terrible, but I have even looked online how to be a prostitute. I look on craigslist trying to find people who would pay me for that. But the only reason I didn't do it was because I have a vaginal problem which makes sex nearly impossible on most days. At this point, I would be willing to even be a prostitute, so long as it would shut my dh up and give him the money he wants. So please don't tell me to find a job when I have been trying my hardest. I have sent out HUNDREDS of applications.

p.s.s. I have even applied to do volunteer jobs or internships to get the experience until I get a paying job. Nobody calls me for that either.