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Divorce - better in US or India?

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by newbeginning, Jun 18, 2010.

  1. newbeginning

    newbeginning Bronze IL'ite

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    So my question is ...if I have put so much efforts to be together and sustain this relationship all these past years (he knows it too very well), is it too much to expect from my side that he atleast tells me his decision in a nicer way?

    Am I expecting too much or being too arrogant there? I dont get it really...
     
  2. sarma

    sarma Senior IL'ite

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  3. Tridev

    Tridev Silver IL'ite

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    NB ,when relations are not normal this will happen, it seems he is too much intimidated by you and feels out of control in his life. This statements speaks that. By no means I am jutifying, he may be a real crap but in a relationship it is personality that is conflicting ... You have given your 100% but if you ask him he would say you have not given even 10%. Its just the perspective each one will have..

    You have a DD and a big challenge of Divorce is in front of you, that road is not easy to travel, emotionally and otherwise it is draining. That is something we have to focus on and hope resolves in a amicable way...

    I am almost sailing in same boat..too.

     
    Last edited: Jun 19, 2010
  4. Tridev

    Tridev Silver IL'ite

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    Woman does not has to necessarily follow men, nor men have to follow women, yes it has to be negotiated. And that is why there are so many problems we see, the negotiation does not work many times and third party mediation becomes necessary. If one says I want to go , other says I dont want to go, where is the question of negotiation. It is the question of choice. This topic is more to be discussed on pros and cons on equal partnership thread...

    But lets say if OP did not had problems in her married life and her husband was nice to her, will she worry of negotiation ? I dont think so, she would have easily tagged along to her husband as she too claimed and lived a happy life ......There is nothing one loses and equal partnership is not easy to manage..


     
    Last edited: Jun 19, 2010
  5. Tridev

    Tridev Silver IL'ite

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    If he agrees that you have put that much effort, that means there was a need to put too, he knows that too and probably you too..But I agree that at the end of the day the decision to seperate should be mutual. He has to cooperate in seperation.

    But I am still not getting one thing, I guess you said he is a good dad and he really loves the kid. So then why are you hell bent to get sole custody.
    if we talk of equal partnership and negotiation, then why is it that mom take charge in claiming the child as primary or sole custodian and just leave DAD with visitation rights.

     
  6. Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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  7. sarma

    sarma Senior IL'ite

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  8. Tridev

    Tridev Silver IL'ite

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    The decision of negotiation also means to negotiate everything. If the partnership is equal then in seperation we see so many women taking away the child irrespective of age and claiming sole custody , why? Do they negotiate that till certain age I will keep the child and after that it will go to the father?

    That time a woman takes advantage of a mother or natural factor beign a mother, so she herself would agree that it is not equal...Men and woman have their own roles in marriage. Equal partnership is ok in commercial ventures, however both have to understand and cooperate and at the end of the day one has to give lead to the other person to live a happy life..(in their respective areas)

     
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  9. Tridev

    Tridev Silver IL'ite

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    Correct, it is very difficult to deal with our egos, that is why we see so many problems today in married lives..

     
  10. sarma

    sarma Senior IL'ite

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