Divorce a better option

Devika, I am in agreement with you. If things get to the point where couples have no respect, love and care left for each other then, yes, separation is the wise thing to do.
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However, I would like to add here that we women sometimes forget to use tact in building relationships. Marriage especially requires a lot of this in its initial years. For us, we must learn the art of being tactful and asserting our needs right from the beginning in addition to being considerate and loving to the other person. I think many times we resort to being either too straightforward or too submissive. In my opinion both these are avoidable extremes.
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I too have a close friend who is living under extremely bitter circumstances for the last 10 years! That’s a long time. I wish she would separate. But she won’t. I do think that she could’ve averted some things had she being more wise in handling.
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I am not saying that tact and being assertive will avert genuine cases where divorce is inevitable. I think that these qualities may help some marriages from reaching that stage.
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SS

 

Sorry. This is an invalid statment to the core. It is easy to say Divorce. Do you think of the consequesences. Especially if you have kids, the way the future of the kids getting affected. I remember my friends saying when we-husband and wife both fight, See your problem as an outsider-it is not at all a problem; when you undergo, you may feel like that is hectic, turmoil etc... The easy way to escape of the situation is either one of the couple has to calm down. It is easy to say but difficult to practice.but We have practiced it. Initially we felt it was highly impossible. The only thing which has to be taken care is to avoid arguments/fightings in front of children. Just if you wd have observed (this is in reference to a research study carried out abroad) clearly says that the persons seperated never had a happy future (89% of the surveyed couple). Might be you can count the people seperated who living happily subsequent to the seperation. But do not generalise the facts. We are living -though compromised for the sake of children, living to gether happily (not leading our own life), we really understood the meaning of what is life-by living together. It would have taken a single minute to pronounce DIVORCE but it really hurts. So I dont agree dont suggest any one. May be a temporary seperation sometimes works but it will not cure the wounds. Rather live and settle your scores.
Best of luck.

 

Devika,

I agree with you. Processes like divorce are not entirely without greater benefit, in specific cases. I know that if the couple have children, they should keep the welfare of the children as prime concern. But life never proceeds in the gentle, structured way we want it to flow. And sometimes, a disruption like divorce can make life easier in the long run.

 

I agree with paradise,
Life is once and we cann't rub it and write a new history of anyone.Once they were married and settled they should never turn back and think about a lonely life...Marriage life is a flow like falls we should never try to stop until the nature themselves stops(i mean a death among any of the spouse)...The only difference b/w animal and human is "6th sense" which includes tolerance too...I wrote all the above specifically for Indian women and I have no word about forigners,they never ming if a relation breaks or I can say like this they would have a strong heart to digest many marriages and their breaks,but our Indian women cann't survive in this crucial world without a guardian...Parents too can welcome a woman who got divorced but the pain of a divorced woman only knows the loneliness...I never say live with a psyco husband or something like that, unless the reason for the divorce is not stronger like psyco ..all the other can be changed..a girl should never take this decision....Because the only crucial life she is going to face is after her divorce...

 

I think trying to fit all age old beliefs in changed world is like, putting 50 years old battery in new system. It may not work. It may even spoil the system. I think its time that Indians realized things may go wrong. People may make wrong decisions. And there should be ways to mend wrong things.

Kids are important part, but we also have a commitment towards our ownself to keep ourself safe, well-respected and well-appreciated. I think these are basics people should for themselves in a relation.