Disgusting scenario even in educated families

drpriyaprem · Aug 7, 2013

Hi everyone,
Jus wanted to share something that is happening to one of my close relatives married life. Both husband & wife are of same qualification. But the girl is not working. She and her family was so verbally harassed by the boys family as she did not get conceived since 2years of their married life. His parents went to bad extents to insult the girls family. Bt nw, even after the birth of a male baby, they r torturing her a lot. The husband is of no support to her, he himself would hurt her by simply avoiding her... Now the girl is so depressed. A do or die situation n that house.

I really wonder, in this stage, where v always talk about womens liberation in all fields, such type of sober stories still happen in many households. Jus because, v r females, v have to abide by society's unwritten rule of tolerating all the mishaps at home...will this ordeal never end??? r v still born slaves?? Dont v have the right to punish such brutal male chauvinistic educated idiots??

anugamit · Aug 7, 2013

If it is a do or die situation for that girl why does not they file a complaint against her inlaws?....She is being harassed as you said.

anonymou · Aug 7, 2013

who stops her from filing for divorce if she finds her husband and in-laws behavior insulting?

Women liberation does mean a guarantee that all women will be happy. It only means that women are free, free to respond to a behavior in manner they choose. If the girl is equally qualified, she is empowered, she has the choice to live in that house or not.

And I am not even implying that a woman who feels insulted or harassed, is actually insulted or harrassed. More often than not, in an incompatible couple both partners feel that they are being harassed. Lack of respect is most often mutual. But regardless, nothing stops a woman who in her opinion is not treated well, to leave marital bond.

friendlygirl · Aug 7, 2013

you say she is educated...why is she is putting up with this non-sense..
I understand that there is society pressures etc...but being educated she can stand up for herself and file a complaint against this guy and his family.
I dont mean to be harsh here but women's liberation means women taking action and have the right to take action. In this case she is does and she should know about it because she s educated. In many countries even the women want to, they cant since there is no law protecting them.

premabarani · Aug 7, 2013

Hi Priya
What ever we are equally or overly educated even our's & our parent's mentallity is still the same which the boy's side are misusing.
With the kid we also think twice before separating & all bla bla.
First she has to get a job & show them she can stand on her own legs independantly. then she can show her protests . If all these doesnot workout then she can walk away.
Prema Barani

rkgurbani · Aug 7, 2013

I think it is for the girl to stand up for herself and her child. Just because she is tolerating all this, the family is torturing her all the more and testing her patience and tolerating power. And also, her parents can take a step to protect their daughter from such harassment.

flowerlady · Aug 7, 2013

The H and family are torturing the educated girl, why is she still there, why not walk out and file for divorce?
Tolerating abuse is equally bad, maybe she has the old fashioned idea of staying married at all costs.
She can get a job and earn , she lacks confidence inspite of being educated.
She has to change her attitude and everything will be fine.

yellowmango · Aug 8, 2013

Why is she taking all this nonsense?Why do educated women expect abusers to change?What is stopping her from stopping them or from walking out?Why do women have this desire to be good DIL and wife to Bad people?

lucky2 · Aug 8, 2013

divorce is not the only solution..!if divorce is the only solution more than 50% marriage end up in divorce..it is not easy to walk out of relation and cut all ties when kids are born..it takes little time,may be year or two,if cant put up with the torture,best mantra is to ignore the people around..

drpriyaprem · Aug 8, 2013

Hi everyone,
thanks for sharing ur views. The girl is educated, a postgraduate in computer applications, true Bt she has no work experience. Got married once she finished her college. Getting a job all of a sudden is very tough. Moreover, she has a 8 month old kid with developmental delay, undergoing treatment. She has to stay with the kid 24/7 to train him.

She is putting up with those people for the sake of the kid. Good parenting is a very essential thing in bringing him up nw. Bt they dnt seem to be responsible.They r posing in the society as very pious n spiritual human beings. Ours is a tricky situation to b dealt very carefully.

I jus wanted to warn those parents who r searching for a suitable groom for their little princess. Please enquire into every minute details about the nature of the boy's family. V may not knw, when they will show up their real ugly picture!! Because this particular family whom am referring to seemed to b a normal middleclass, educated and decent one during talks & then marriage went on. Hell broke loose after 2 years of marriage... My relative(the girl) lost her smile since then, who is otherwise a very bubbly, cheerful person.