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Discussing Finances And Wills With Young Adult Children

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by Laks09, Jan 20, 2021.

  1. DDream

    DDream Finest Post Winner

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    Thanks everyone for the pearls of wisdom on this topic. Do you have a will? What are the procedure for having one in USA. Not sure if my kids are old enough to understand finances, but its a good idea to educate them about it. Sometimes I wonder how will they survive if something happens to us.
     
  2. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    We didn't have one for a long time. Then, I read that if both parents pass away suddenly and the kids are young, they could go to foster care. They could remain in foster care for one day or less or more. The idea of my kid spending even a few hours in foster care spurred me like nothing else could have. Cobbled together a basic will in under a month if I recall correctly.

    I still haven't verified whether the kids could indeed go to foster care even if close friends are available to look after the kids till family can arrive. That it is even a possibility was enough for me.

    As the children grow older, like maybe 7 yrs or 8 or so, they are also consulted. So the chance of going to foster care reduces a lot. I read that at 14, they start to have a legal say, whatever that means.

    Once the foster care thing was sorted out by naming our close friends in the will as immediate guardians, the question of where will kids live if we pass away when they are very young came up. Many people get stuck at this point. So did we. If there is a sibling or close relative in the U.S. (or even Canada), the answer is easy. If both the man and woman have siblings in the U.S., the question again becomes hard as each might want his/her sibling to be named the first choice for guardian. : )

    ===
    Nothing wrong per se with the foster care system. Foster parents are among the most amazing, generous and kind people. Just that there are also bad people among them.
     
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2021
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  3. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    A general note:

    The contemplation of our kid(s) losing both parents when very young can be upsetting. It helps to keep in mind that this is a very remote possibility.

    The bigger reason to get a basic will done is that if one parent passes away suddenly, the other will be busy for quite some time being both mother and father to the young kids. This surviving parent will not have the time or mental energy to do the will thing. And sadly, the necessity of a will becomes more urgent when only one parent is alive.
     
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2021
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  4. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Platinum IL'ite

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    People need a will as soon as they have something valuable. Bank/invstmnt Account, Property, Spouse, and Baby is the usual rank order of how valuable your possession is.
    As soon as you have any one of these, it is time to think about that what-if scenario. It is as important for single people as it is for marrieds with kids. There are many poor families with an H1b worker in USA. It would be sad if the US-resident's meagre savings is stuck somewhere without helping anyone who mattered when s/he was alive.

    here is a mini digression....(perhaps someone may start a new thread)
    Single, childless people (with no dependable friends or relatives in the country of residence), and still chatting with spouse-prospects linked via matrimonial sites, should find out from their banks/brokerages if they could have a joint (or ToD) account with a foreign-resident person with an ITIN (individual taxpayer identification number). ITIN is available for foreigners -- just like a PAN card is issued by India.
     
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2021
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  5. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    It's not really a digression. Even for people with kids, when writing the will, they may want to specify what should happen to the assets if the entire family is gone. And also specify who will take care of this task of transferring the wealth to some recipients in India. Maybe the couple wants that some of it will go to charity, friends in India/USA and the rest will go to family in India. This again can get complicated.

    The easiest thing to do is say if the entire family is gone, "his and her assets are to be divided equally among all the legal heirs." Heirs are decided according to the law of the state where the family lives/lived. Usually, it will be the man's and the woman's parents, siblings, grandchildren (if any), DILs, SILs ...
     
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2021
  6. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Platinum IL'ite

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    Another useful take.
    Some of us can sell Insurance :grin:. [Insurance policy payouts, car, home, life, etc etc.. are NOT income-tax'able for the beneficiary in USA and several other countries, btw]
    #wetoo; this problem happens to immigrant couples. And because it is not good (on several counts) to assign the job to someone abroad, who cannot get here (due to visa issues) or the children should not get there. After all, we had struggled so hard to escape the there, we cannot have our children be sent there.
    When the children are young, immigrant parents do discuss the guardian-issue, Smiths, Joneses, Chitti*-in-Chittoor, or Foster-care, with their kids to make them eat their spinach, broccoli and such.

    *Kamala Harris has made this a Crossword puzzle word.
     
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  7. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    The guardian-issue sort of came full circle. For a while, I half-seriously told Thing1 to pray that I (and/or dad) live long enough that Thing2 does not become c/o Thing1. The knowledge of that possibility made Thing1 more interested in making me eat spinach, broccoli and take my lady vitamins regularly and exercise daily ... drive carefully ... ROFL. : )
     
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2021
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  8. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Platinum IL'ite

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    Hilarious... thanks for sharing.
    We can be both thankful and sorry that children grow up into adults.
     
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  9. EverydayBloom

    EverydayBloom Gold IL'ite

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    Thanks for bringing this up @Rihana I re-read this reply once again and caught up this one, sent a email to my HR and found they do have legal services and transferred me to the appropriate service, where there is a free 30mins call and minimal fee to the follow-up calls, thanks for pointing to this!!

    I am preparing a quick checklist for preparing WILL (from GOOGLE):
    • Birth and/or death certificate
    • Marriage licenses and/or divorce certificates
    • Deed(s) to property
    • Mortgage(s) information
    • Insurance policy information - be sure you have beneficiaries designated and current on each insurance policy
    • List of all bank accounts - institutions and account numbers
    • Investment portfolio - account numbers
    • Funeral plans and burial plot information
    • Names/phone numbers/emails/firms/addresses for your:
      • Lawyer
      • Insurance agent
      • CPA or accountant
      • Banker
      • Financial advisor
    • First Executor
    • First Guardian
    Can you please let me know anything else needed to be added to the above list? Appreciate your input.
     
    Last edited: Jan 29, 2021
  10. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Yes. But we don’t regularly update it as we are supposed to. Usually, it is supposed to be every five years. We’ve gone even ten years without updating it.

    From what I’m seeing here, it depends from state to state. For example, in my state the probate process isn't lengthy, fairly straight forward and the executor can do it independently most of the time without a lot of court involvement. In other states, it isn't so. Which is why I personally prefer going to a lawyer to get the wills/trusts done. That way everything is per your state's rules.

    I love @Rihana's post above. It's the unlikeliest scenario where both parents pass away. It's usually one and then the surviving spouse is left to gather himself/herself and fend for the family. In such situations wills help. A will in India helps if there are assets in India. Without a will, I know a widow who ran pillar to post because her husband's mom was still alive and according to Indian law she had a share in his assets. She had to get a NOC from the MIL and go to court to prove that her and kids were the only legal heirs. Hard for sure for a newly widowed person.
     
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