1. Want to be a Positive Parent? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Would you like to join the IL team? See open jobs!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  4. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

Discussing Finances And Wills With Young Adult Children

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by Laks09, Jan 20, 2021.

  1. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    10,841
    Likes Received:
    26,352
    Trophy Points:
    540
    Gender:
    Female
    We thought about this when our new teen got curious about the family's net worth. : ) Long story short, we concluded that if they get to know the $$ numbers, the already spoilt brats who know no want and lead luxurious lives will lose any motivation to study and get a job.

    So, they have a general idea but not the actual figures, even as young adults.

    I do tell them our expenses. In excruciating detail. : ) The first time they saw our credit card statements annual pie chart thingies and other reports, it was an eye opener all round. Especially, the "take out" and restaurants part of the pie. : )
     
  2. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    700
    Likes Received:
    766
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Male
    This is a universal fear of the affluent chinese and desi's.
    I think the friends-of-parents (sounds like a facebook category ;-) )who have been chosen to plant good things in the heads of our children serve more functions than just be in the wills & RLT's.
     
    Rihana, EverydayBloom and nuss like this.
  3. Laks09

    Laks09 Staff Member Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    6,035
    Likes Received:
    9,584
    Trophy Points:
    440
    Gender:
    Female
    I think it was to teach her to do her taxes. I thought that was fairly easy to do with TurboTax. I didn't go that route :)

    I felt like it was not needed as well. I still don't know the details of my parent's assets and what is where. My Dad is a stickler for these things. He inventories my locker and writes down every single thing in great detail. Who went, took what, put what back is all documented. I'm sure all other financial details of theirs are in similar state of upkeep. Unfortunately, I didn't inherit that gene.

    I wish I had done this. I didn't. Making her get her own CC and putting her on an allowance before going to the dorm is the single most important thing I did. The kid who just swiped my CC for whatever she needed is now very aware of expenses, gas, take out orders and other things that just got taken for granted. Having to pay her own CC bill on time has turned out to be a good lesson. I remember her first day on the job one summer. She comes home and asks me if knew the "tollway" charged money to drive on there. Now, she takes the earlier exit to pay 50 cents less!
     
    Rihana likes this.
  4. Thoughtful

    Thoughtful Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    145
    Likes Received:
    251
    Trophy Points:
    125
    Gender:
    Male
    Hi @Rihana,
    Thank you so much for going into detail and sharing your knowledge and experience.

    You have given as much information as you possibly can in an online forum. Really appreciate it.

    I will do some research and come back to your post for reference. I think I need more knowledge to understand what you have laid out and to even ask questions.

    Thanks again!!
     
    Rihana and Laks09 like this.
  5. Thoughtful

    Thoughtful Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    145
    Likes Received:
    251
    Trophy Points:
    125
    Gender:
    Male
    Amazing Information. Thanks so much !!
     
    Rihana and Laks09 like this.
  6. nuss

    nuss Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,249
    Likes Received:
    2,283
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Some businesses withhold taxes even if the kid is not making over $12000. If the kid files taxes, they will get that withheld money.
     
    Rihana and Laks09 like this.
  7. nuss

    nuss Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,249
    Likes Received:
    2,283
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Not just Chinese and Desi’s. This is a universal fear. I was surprised by the lack of money talk in my husband’s family (a Caucasian American). His parents never discussed assets/ wrath with him and his brother. They only started talking now because I ask a lot of questions.

    I grew up in a family where we freely talked about income/ assets. I know everything my parents own, their Will etc. As a young woman, it was good to know what we could afford and what we couldn’t.
     
    KashmirFlower, Rihana, Laks09 and 2 others like this.
  8. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    700
    Likes Received:
    766
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Male
    I have noticed this as well. We were named executors/guardians in a few of our close friends' (native born couples) wills, and the children hardly know what the parents have. We had trained those kids to acquire a taste for uppuma (early evening cartoons-on-TV snack) just in case.
    Years and years ago, there was an academic paper from one of the Federal Reserve banks on the topic of Savings habits of immigrants versus native born. Immigrants were found to be more frugal (in their income class) and saved more than the corresponding cohorts among the native born. The speculation in the conclusion was that the immigrants have nobody to fall back to, if there was any financial emergency, whereas the native-born can depend on their families and relatives. While this may be operating in the subconscious, the asiatics are frugal even in their own motherlands. Within India, it is often observed that the northerners are more leveraged than the southerners-- the former group having a tendency to stretch themselves to enjoy more modern comforts than the people in the south.
     
    Rihana and Laks09 like this.
  9. EverydayBloom

    EverydayBloom Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    234
    Likes Received:
    328
    Trophy Points:
    130
    Gender:
    Female
    Agree @Rihana, in my excel the first tab is Monthly budgeting it has everything and in sync with our bank statements and I use personal capital tool which visually shows how much we spend in each category!! And we talk a lot about how personal finance works, living below means and retire early lately, and thank you so much for your book recommendation "Bluechip kids" I started reading and loved the way it explained with great Illustrations.
     
    Last edited: Jan 28, 2021
    Rihana and Laks09 like this.
  10. Laks09

    Laks09 Staff Member Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    6,035
    Likes Received:
    9,584
    Trophy Points:
    440
    Gender:
    Female
    @Thoughtful - Do check with your employer if they have a legal plan that covers wills and trusts. A lot of employers pay for this either partially or in full. If you have the plan, you can use it to hire a lawyer without needing to pay thousands of dollars for a lawyer.
     
    Thoughtful and Rihana like this.

Share This Page