Disciplining toddlers

Hi friends,
I am the mother of two childrens. 1st--girl, she is in 6th and 2nd--boy, he is in pre-kg.
Both are entirely different from each other. My daughter can do all her things on her own. Including studies, she never expect me to be with her. My son is very very naughty and he wants what ever my daughter is having (school things) which I cant give him. Because of this my daughter and my son use to have a big war -- daily. When it comes the exam time, I use to give her test, do correction and clarify her doubt. But I cant do this peacefully. He dont want me to spent time with her and do naughtyness to the maximum possible. O my God, during exam time, my house will become hell. Exams will get over. Again my home will be sweet home. But with in a month, another Exam. O no not again.

 

hai
my son is 5 yrs old and daughter 2.8 yrs
my daughter eats salads, rice by her own. in fact she needs to do all works by own.its worries me as it wont fill her stomach, but on the contrary, my son is a fussy eater. never eats veggies nor fruits. he asks either me or my husband to feed him esp watching tv.anyone could tell me how can we handle him. i 'm a new visitor to this forum.
thank u


to make you kid eat his own food(rice, sambar, rasam, etc) try with colorful plates that has her favourite characters in it. You can get plates with Dora/princess etc in it. so try with that. also instead of just trying while giving food, tell her what strength vegetables/rice/sambar etc give her. show her some veggie books and teach her and say dora says this, spiderman says that, they can do things only bcoz they eat everything by their own, etc. I knw it's easy to be said. my daughter is 3yrs old and doesn't eat all by herself. I'm also trying my best.

regarding milk, may be your daughter doesn't like milk. again try with different sippers with her favourite colors and characters. show her something related to milk and teach her abt that too. is she doesn't like milk then I'm not sure how far she'll listen to what you say. bcoz my co-sister's son doesn't take milk at all. when he was a toddler she used to feed him when hes sleeping with feeding bottle even until 3/4. And now hes 6 and he doesn't take it. basically he don't like. I'm not disappointing, but try with various options.

hope she takes her milk on her own soon...all the best

Cheers,
Malar[/quote]

 

hai all
i m deepa and mother of two kids.when my kids are adamant i also scream, my husband tells me not to as we stay in township my voice could be heard by all.
what do i do when i lose my temper and kids r vry adamant?

 

hi Deepa, hearty welcome to the clubBow i'll share my 2 cents here but I'm sure other experienced moms will throw more light on this universal problem:help so for the eating part.... don't fret if your daughter will fill her stomach. it's very very encouraging that she's not taking any clues from her brother but instead eating by herself. she's just like my boy. let her eat by herself and from your part make sure whatever you give her is filling and balanced (i mean carbos, proteins etc,. and not just plain rice or so). also give her fruits, dry fruits etc., to snack. in this age children are so energetic and can't be satisifed with just 3 meals a day. for your son i think because he is the first born you got him into the habit of showing tv and feeding. and now he's refusing to come out of that comfort zone. do you or your husband watch tv while eating? then stop that first. this exercise will not bear results overnight and there will be lots of world war at home between the parents and the boy. but be firm. switch off the tv and tell him he can watch only after he finishes what is on the plate. keep tv as a reward for eating by himself. and not as a helping tool. initially he'll throw lots of tantrums. if he refuses to come to terms just ignore him. you be stubborn. eventually he'll understand that he cannot fool around. but make sure your husband is also equally supportive. if he or yourself give in even one time then you are back to square one. children are very manipulative and don't get tempted to feed him either. but do not scold him. be firm with him at the same time give him encouraging examples like now he's the big brother and needs to eat well to take care of his sister, play well and perform well at school etc., for the screaming part... i hope i too find a solution in the near future. it's very easy for the men to ask us to stay cool. but if you're at-home-mother and have to hear this from 2 kids right from the time you wake up it's not at all easy. what i do these days is lock myself in the kitchen or bathroom so that i'm not face-to-face with my boy when he's screaming or not listening to me... take a breather and come back to face him again. that helps me 85% of the time. so good luck! Latha

 

hi teju, :coffee now this is the same problem we face whenever we visit India. because I have no leave issues i end up staying for atleast 2 months and then my boy is totally out of control. It's not that my parents give him whatever he demands (my dad is stricter than me with him when it comes to candies etc.,) but still i don't understand how! sometimes i think i shouldn't go home every year but that'll be too cruel on the child not to visit his family at all. now to help with my 2nd delivery my parents will come here for 3 months and i know i've a battle to fight after they leave:help so coming to your problem... it's the same here. if i ask my son to do his pee pee or come for a shower, finish his milk whatever you name it he either screams or folds his hands and goes to a corner (with such a frustrated look on his face). my husband finds it very very funny but i don't ignoring him has helped me... i don't go begging after him. i tell him that if he's not willing to get ready fine i'm going out etc., it works most of the times. this is just another way they test our limits. try ignoring and then telling her later when she's in good mood that you didn't like what she did. i hope it helps and this is a quick phase too! Latha

 

Hi
I am writing here after a long time.. I hav newly moved into OKC from india in feb.. I hav a 2 yr old son.. I need ur help regarding him.. He was okie till now.. But of late, i am not able to manage him at all..

He is feelin lonely all the time. He is missing his friends and grandparents back home. He is depressed and so he becomes adamant.. he wants to go out all the time.. Till now, the climate is bad, so i was not taking him out... He never plays with his toys.. he is bright. He learns things very quickly..he always clings on to me which is making me frustrated coz i cant even cook or do any work... He dont hav any friends here neither do i..

Now, the climate is better, so ive started to take him out for a walk. But the problem is he never wants to come back home.. Even after playing for 2-3 hrs, he dont want to come home. He creates a big hungama, he rolls on the streets, we dont know wht to do.. He cries for an hr actually.. He goes in wheezing kinda state. I am actually worried. This happens during weekends also when we go out .. I dont know y he is behaving like this...My husband schedule is so hectic, its a short term project for 6 months.. He dont hav time for anything.. When i see my son depressed and crying all the time, I feel like i shud go back to India..

Please help me with ur suggestions. My life is miserable here...

Regards,
roopa.

 

Hello Roopa, Your son is only 2 yrs old. So I think he'll come out of this phase quite soon. I don't have experience of relocating my child from a environment filled with lots of people to life abroad. But I suppose parents like me who from the beginning have been managing home, child all alone, without family and friends have got used to various tricks. I think your boy is used to having someone attend to him (his grandparents, neighbours, children of his own age etc.,) even when you were busy running the home. But now suddenly he has realised that you're not there for him. Try to find a play group or some activity where other children of his age group are present. Even if we chart out a plan, as adults, we can't entertain children the whole day. they need someone of their own age. Did you consider a nursery or creche even twice a week? It'll not only give you time to get to know the new place but also let him explore. Do you have his favourite DVD? Play that and try to finish your cooking when he's immersed in that and then do activites with him. I think because he's so used to people around him best would be to find a activity group for him. Good luck! This is just a passing phase Latha