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disappointed with gender

Discussion in 'Pregnancy & Labor' started by unluckyme, Feb 2, 2011.

  1. ramyav_cse

    ramyav_cse Gold IL'ite

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    uff...we r the opposites of characters I guess...Im having a boy and was craving so much for a gal...I juz luv little gals and was so much disappointed when we were told we are having a baby boy...juz to soothe you, my mom has a boy n a gal n believe me I was so inexpensive for them and even made sure I earned well before I got married and bore all the wedding expenses myself but my bro on the other hand has been v.v.expensive for them...he was offered the best of education but even after that he was not able to fare as well as I did...today my parents repent for giving him an upper hand in everything...
    To be v.honest, I wud consider u v.v.lucky for having a gal...though I have now learnt to luv my boy as much as I wud luv a gal, I still yearn to dress the baby in all b'ful clothes and admire her...cheer up n thank God for this gift rather than sulking over it...
     
    1 person likes this.
  2. sweety25

    sweety25 Senior IL'ite

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    @unluckyme..

    Stop worrying and just remmeber that you are a GIRL FIRST...whether it is a girl/boy ...firstly it's a god gift....i dont know how can you think so mean that you don't want to deliver a girl...infact you being a girl...bull****...this is 2011...open your eyes and stop thinking nonsense which is bad for you and your baby toooo.

    Sweety...
     
  3. RadiantCat

    RadiantCat Gold IL'ite

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    You have just proved, God never helps people that yearn for the basics.
     
  4. kAlyaniShAnti

    kAlyaniShAnti IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi,

    Are you feeling any better after sharing your thoughts and getting suggestions here?

    I may sound curt, but the thing is there IS NO problem and you are trying to create one!!

    Your justifications/reasons for not wanting to have a baby girl is out of your limited experience. It is a big surprise, you being a girl yourself can not love your baby girl!! What you are facing regarding helping your Mom is not because of anything but a situation and mind set (of your DH or so). It is a bad example. But THIS IS NOT ALL that is happening around.

    I have seen many families, who are supported (financially and emotionally) by their daughters, whereas the sons are selfish, stay away from the parents and never even care to see how the parents are surviving. I have such examples in abundance and even in my own family.

    I have seen parents (having both DD and DS) telling that they would be blessed to have DD alone, given the DS is so irresponsible and self-centered.

    Just because, you experienced a bad sample, the entire world does not fall to that category.

    Mind, the small baby's well-being is solely dependent on her Mom first and you have to act EXTREMELY RESPONSIBLY, not emotionally.

    You need to cheer yourself up and look into the matter positively, specially when there is no negative side of it!

    If needed, seek professional help to get rid of your mind set, this is not healthy for you, your family and the small kind coming to this world, looking for all support and security for her Mom alone.
     
  5. blackbeauty84

    blackbeauty84 IL Hall of Fame

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    Unluckyme,
    I think you have to stand up against your husband in terms of helping your mother. I don't know whether you have done it or not. But it's that issue that's bothering you. You are afraid of bringing another girl in the world, because you think it might suffer like you.
    It's your responsibility to bring up the child with healthy thoughts, strong and independent values. I feel bad for your unborn child.
     
  6. thamaraisk

    thamaraisk New IL'ite

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    Dear,

    Please stop worrying. you are in your last phase of pregnancy and the life in you now can sense everything. Dont let her feel this trouble you are having at heart.

    Come on, may be you ll be blessed with a boy next. Take it in that attitude. Think about all those moments you and your daughter would share.

    Make it sound positive and it ll be a great start!!

    Wishing you a very happy and healthy delivery.

    P.S I, myself am trying too hard to get preggy with a girl!! I am having all my fingers crossed!!
     
  7. wisha

    wisha Senior IL'ite

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    Hi Dear!

    First of all,stop feeling guilt about all these feelings & worrying about future.
    When the small bundle of joy will be in your hand ,you cant stop yourself to love her.
    Let me give you a hug first... Its OK to feel in this way too!
    It may not be you but those naughty pregnancy hormones,who made you worried about this or may be your own experience & experiments with life.. which took you to this phase of negativity..
    I feel,feeling negative is as natural as sneezing BUT we should overcome with our positivity,so first dont feel any guilt about thinking like this..Then stop feeling pity yourself for being a female.I have seen so many SONs who don't bother about their parents & Give pain & problems to their parents nothing else.At least, as a daughter you think,love & care for your mom.You may be restricted but at least you are willing to do & you are taking care of your mom.
    Long ago I read my grandfather's letter to my mom..One line still in my heart..."A son is a son until he gets a wife, a daughter is a daughter for whole life"
    I dont want to tell ,that sons are bad.. but daughter remains attached to heart forever..even i am in 7th month, I don't know baby's gender,neither we tried to know.. even I too keep wondering & Do you know one secret that I love to have a son look alike my dad.. & my DH wants a girl like me.. But whoever will come, we both will be happiest.. I just pray good health & happiness for my LO..nothing else...
    Still,if you feel unlucky.Go & check TTC forum..You will realize how lucky you are!

    Take care!
    Wish@
     
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2011
  8. chitraraaj

    chitraraaj Senior IL'ite

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    Unluckyme,

    I think you are lucky to have a baby first. There is nothing to feel bad about having a female child. Dont come to any conclusions that boy baby will ake care of their parents and females are not. Thats not true. Also dont think all the male children are like your hubby and all female children are like you.

    Realise that You are in 21st century and dont waste your happiest present life by thinking of unnecessary negative things. It may harm/depress you and your baby.

    Why are you thinking so selfish like this and due to that you are hating female child. ? Think proud that your blessed with a baby.
    Feel positive in all matters and develop positive energy around you. I know you can. Think of the LO inside you who is wholely dependent on you now.
    So please dont have any negative thoughts. Be prepared to welcome the precious gift to this world. Happy days ahead!! :thumbsupTake care ..

    Cheers,
    Chitra:)
     
  9. iswaryadevi

    iswaryadevi Platinum IL'ite

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    Please check the TTC forum and decide if you are really unlucky.
     
  10. satchitananda

    satchitananda Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    dear op,

    also look at the positive side of this. when your husband has a daughter, he will hopefully realize how it will feel if his son-in-law treated his daughter the same way he is treating you. maybe then he will treat you better.
     

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