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Disappointed after gender check u/s - how to deal with it ?

Discussion in 'Pregnancy & Labor' started by LifeIsWhew, Mar 28, 2011.

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  1. Mar 30, 2011 #21
    subakutty

    subakutty Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi LifeIsWhew

    My suggestion is don't believe on ultrasound, because my mom's younger brother and wife wanted a baby boy when she was pregnant. On ultrasound, it showed as baby girl, both were upset. my mom and my grandma told not to worry. Girl or a boy is your kid. Then surprisingly after delivery, it was baby boy.

    On my first pregnancy, my sonographist told it is a boy, but it was a girl. we accepted whole heartedly. But my fate, she only survived for 10 months after delivery.

    Anyway don't worry. will pray for you to get a baby boy. but don't get depressed, it will harm your fetus. baby boy or girl, accept it with a smile and whole heartedly.

    We are all there for you to pray.
     
    subakutty, Mar 30, 2011
    subakutty, Mar 30, 2011
    #21
  2. Apr 1, 2011 #22
    LifeIsWhew

    LifeIsWhew New IL'ite

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    @ All

    Thank you so much for your encouraging words. Some responses made me smile, some gave me comfort, some made me look at things in a different perspective. What all your posts unanimously made me realize is that I should hope and pray for a healthy baby more than anything else. Thank you all once again.

    Thanks for sharing your experience. I felt so much better reading this.

    @ Rakhi

    Thanks. My husband seem to have easily accepted that we are having a baby girl He immediately started talking to her in the 'coochiecoo' language like she is daddy's little girl already. I wish I could shift gears as easily as him. But I do feel his reaction is what is making me change my way of thinking - faster.
     
    LifeIsWhew, Apr 1, 2011
    LifeIsWhew, Apr 1, 2011
    #22
  3. Apr 1, 2011 #23
    LifeIsWhew

    LifeIsWhew New IL'ite

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    Thank you so much for your encouraging words. It also reassuring to see that there are others who go through similar feelings. Initially when we found out I looked up lot of these topics online but that made me feel more guilty and I felt like I was rejecting my baby. Things are a lot better now. As many of you have mentioned, maybe it is the pregnancy hormones. Also I am trying to be positive and stay away from people and talks that annoy me. I have to say everything annoys me these days :) so its a little difficult.
     
    LifeIsWhew, Apr 1, 2011
    LifeIsWhew, Apr 1, 2011
    #23
  4. Apr 1, 2011 #24
    LifeIsWhew

    LifeIsWhew New IL'ite

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    That is so sweet of you to say that. Thanks a lot. But I do not think that the U/s technician made a mistake in my case :). Please do keep me and my baby in your prayers and pray for me to have a healthy baby.
     
    LifeIsWhew, Apr 1, 2011
    LifeIsWhew, Apr 1, 2011
    #24
  5. Apr 2, 2011 #25
    SuccessMinded

    SuccessMinded Gold IL'ite

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    hey, you are in all our prayers.. May God bless you with the sweetest cutest baby who will be a blessing in your life.
    Just keep praying baby should have all good qualities. That is what makes a baby a blessing, not whether it is a boy or girl.
     
    SuccessMinded, Apr 2, 2011
    SuccessMinded, Apr 2, 2011
    #25
  6. Apr 2, 2011 #26
    Spiderman1

    Spiderman1 Gold IL'ite

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    Lifeiswhew,
    You and I have interacted before, so I hope I can be frank in my post to you.

    You are whining big time in "disappointment", and I am surprised that IL-ites keep writing pages after pages to console you. Console you for WHAT!? Just coz its a baby girl. Look - if you have a healthy kid, be happy. There is nothing to be "disappointed" about really.

    I know people talk abt hormones and they may think that men dont get what "hormones" do etc. But beyond a point, you just need to stop whining and be more focused on the health of the kid.

    As I said - I wanted to share what was in my mind frankly, since I think (based on my reading of you) that you want to hear honest feedback. If you dont want it, let me know, and I can remove my post.

    I am not one to write differently than what I feel, and hence this post. I am not cheering you up or consoling you. I would do it if you or anyone else really required it. But what do you need us to cheer you about or console you for? For having a healthy (touchwood) baby that happens to be a girl, just because you unscientifically imagined you were having a boy? Sorry!

    PS: And, Congrats on your pregnancy. The Congrats is written in a PS note only because you set the tone of this thread as such. Otherwise, that would have been the first thing I'd have said. Yes, Congrats and focus on the right things.
     
    Last edited: Apr 2, 2011
    Spiderman1, Apr 2, 2011
    Spiderman1, Apr 2, 2011
    #26
  7. Apr 2, 2011 #27
    subakutty

    subakutty Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi LifeIsWhew

    Sure, Will pray for you to have healthy baby without any complication and for your baby.
     
    subakutty, Apr 2, 2011
    subakutty, Apr 2, 2011
    #27
  8. Apr 2, 2011 #28
    lotusgirl

    lotusgirl Senior IL'ite

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    lifeiswhew,
    i guess the post strikes ppl on the wrong note because you said you are disappointed the baby is not a boy.. :)

    your post sounds familiar to me since i was in a similar situation during my last pregnancy.. i am the first born and though till teenage yrs i was a daddys girl, as i grew up, me and my mum formed a bond which was very much a best friends & i really wanted the same from my kid.. also i sort of thought me being a woman it would be easy for me to undersstand a girl child and not to mention the cute ways you can dress up a girl..so i really wished my first born to be a girl or better still a girl and a boy..
    at our scan we were told it was most probably a boy & though i felt a weee tinge of disapointment, i realised its still my kid & like anyothers i would find a way to bring up a boy .. hes perfect in all ways and as i realised a boy would do just as much to be my good friend too, just like my brother turned out to be to my mum.. it really didnt matter if it was a boy or girl, it was how you brought them up...

    oh on a lighter note still after these many years, i am still bored about the clothing options for him, but i love the lil guy unconditionally & i love hearing things from a lil boys perspective..

    oh and about your DH's active lifestyle and a girl fitting into it.. we have friends who have a girl and shes very much a daddys girl in that, she is a constant companion for anything and every thing.. they go out on their own almost everyweekend for activities like swimmign, cycling etc.. much more active than my boy and other boys around us of the same age...
     
    lotusgirl, Apr 2, 2011
    lotusgirl, Apr 2, 2011
    #28
  9. Apr 2, 2011 #29
    billybob

    billybob Gold IL'ite

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    Well said spiderman, it is not hormones , OP you were probably conditioned by society and religion that boys are better subconsciously. Girls can be very active in sports they like atleast in US, mine is in track and rides horses.
     
    Last edited: Apr 2, 2011
    billybob, Apr 2, 2011
    billybob, Apr 2, 2011
    #29
  10. Apr 5, 2011 #30
    LifeIsWhew

    LifeIsWhew New IL'ite

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    @ Spiderman1

    I like honest and frank answers - be it positive or negative. However it would be nice if it is constructive at the same time. What you have told me is not something that I am unaware of. If you read my whole post (which I hope you did) you would not have responded this way.

    There is a reason why I asked for responses, in particular from people who have been in similar situations. This is a genuine problem for some which unfortunately they are unable to share with family or friends for reaction such as yours. Everybody wants a healthy baby- thats given. At the same time its natural to have a preference and there can be some disappointment (I know - I hate using this word too !!!) when things don't work our way.

    By posting here I wanted to hear from people who have been there and got through it. Also I did not expect anyone to cheer me up, consoling or congratulate me either. Nobody here was trying to 'console' me if thats how you look at it. They were encouraging and though you might not understand why people wrote pages after pages here, I am glad they did and I whole heartedly appreciate each and every response that I got.

    I think either you did not understand what I was trying to convey in my post or did not read the whole post. I was upset cos the result was a surprise to me. I am guessing my reaction would have been the same if I wanted a baby girl and the result said it was a baby boy. I very well knew and understood my reaction was not a right one but I wasnt able to overcome it or figure out why someone like me would think this way and that is why I posted here.
     
    LifeIsWhew, Apr 5, 2011
    LifeIsWhew, Apr 5, 2011
    #30
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