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Disappointed after gender check u/s - how to deal with it ?

Discussion in 'Pregnancy & Labor' started by LifeIsWhew, Mar 28, 2011.

  1. babycorn

    babycorn Silver IL'ite

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    cannot agree more rakhii...Baby girls are so cute and variety of dressing options....You can even make them wear pants and shirts,but boys cannot wear frocks and skirts.:crazy
     
  2. juliana123

    juliana123 New IL'ite

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    Excuse me for being so blunt and to the point, there are lot of couples who want to have children, does'nt matter boy or girl, being blessed with a baby is a great gift and here you are being depressed, come on count your blessings and move on.
    Congrats for being pregnant.
     
  3. rosenav

    rosenav Silver IL'ite

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    aww bless you....

    I know my husband was in the same couple of mnts ago, he desperately wanted to have a girl, but we had a boy, he was so upset that he walked out of the sonogram room when the nurse told it's going to be a boy :hide:

    but when he held his son in his hand , things changed 360 degrees... he just loves him to bits,enjoys every bit.

    dnt worry when your angle arrives things will change, right now just enjoy being pregnant n pampered ....these r best days n will never come back.

    good luck
     
    Last edited: Mar 29, 2011
  4. LifeIsWhew

    LifeIsWhew New IL'ite

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    I get that !!! And not just in this case but with so many other issues in life we should count our blessings and move on. That being said, we are humans with emotions and sometimes the emotions get the better of us. I came here for help cos I did not know how to 'move on'.
     
  5. LifeIsWhew

    LifeIsWhew New IL'ite

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    Thanks.

    That was another thing that I was worried about. My husband has a brother and most of his cousins are boys. My husband is a typical manly man who loves sports, politics, international affairs, who watches news, keeps track of stock market etc. I am not sure if he will know how to handle a baby girl.

    I was sick like a dog all through my 1st trimester and I used to tell everyone at that time that I might have a baby girl but as soon as that got better I went into 'having a boy' mode. I was in shock/surprise when I heard the result. The technician however did not even show us on the monitor as to how she figured that out. I mean I saw things on the monitor but it was all blurry B&W images. She was an older technician and was very confident when she said that so I do not for a minute doubt that its a girl. But later when I read online I see that people do get pictures of the u/s which shows the gender. Not only am I upset that I didn't get any pic she did not even explain it to us as to how she figured it out. I should have asked her but I was in a state of shock at that time.
     
    Last edited: Mar 29, 2011
  6. Rakhii

    Rakhii Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    Its OK if he (your husband) is into sports etc. Look at it this way, there are tons of women around this world who have excelled in sports. Who knows, your child would be one of them too right?

    If it happens that your girl didn't show interest in sports, see what else she likes and perhaps you can help her excel in her field.

    Your husband will just be fine dear. Why wait till she is here, even in a matter of weeks his perspective will change. Boy or girl, its your baby na, both of you will adore her. Just giver yourself sometime.

    Edit: regarding stocks and all...I am a woman and I am in to Investment Banking. I like to believe that I excel in my work because of my love for stocks...
     
    Last edited: Mar 29, 2011
  7. Pamela15

    Pamela15 Silver IL'ite

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    LifeisWhew (really!!???),

    Reading your posts, you come across as a smart and confident woman. I am sure its just your hormones right now that are making you sound (and feel) depressed... its more to do with your state of mind.. your baby will be always yours, and needs all your love.... whatever the gender, and you are bringing her into this world, isnt that really wow!!! ?? :)

    All the best!

    PS: I have two lovely gals, and am loving it..
     
  8. peartree

    peartree Platinum IL'ite

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    Girl or boy

    One look at that tiny bundle that would be dependent on you for even the most basic things, you can't feel anything but love. My daughter is 7 months old. We did not find out the gender of the baby but thought it would be a boy all along. When she did finally come, not a moment was wasted thinking she wasn't what I expected. She was mine. Period.

    Having to change all thought processes from a "he" to a "she" is such a small adjustment you and your husband would have to make in the bigger scheme of things. You are nurturing life and are so fortunate to be able to do so, compared to so many others. Count your blessing and start shopping for those little pink onesies and boooties.

    All the best!
     
    Last edited: Mar 29, 2011
  9. savannas

    savannas Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi Lifeiswhew,
    I wanted to drop by to tell you - never look back at this disappointment as your guilt fault etc. Its very natural for a mom to have expectations, and you just thought you may have a baby boy.. not your fault..
    However, now that you know its a baby girl, think of a cute 5 year old girl with 2 pony tails, or think of an amazing 20 year old daughter who is best buddies with her mom.. ( may I recommend, watch some ads on youtube like pears (mom and daughter one), the santoor ad etc. you will understand how beautiful it can be to have a little daughter.. Even though you know all this by knowledge, watching ads, thinking of future etc trains your mind to get used to having a girl.. Talk to your baby when you cook, clean, dressup etc, treat her as your cute friend.. slowly your dh will also bond.. After a few weeks you will love 'her' so much, you will not dare think of the possibility of being boy - your mind may say 'what if sonographer made a mistake?' but your heart will say ' whatever.. I dont care, this is my LO'.. Try above tips and let us know..

    Obviously, when kid is born, you'll totally be full love for the LO, so dont worry about anybody's reaction at that point also..

    Go through other gender disappointment related or 'having 2 daughters' posts.. I remember going through those myself when I was through a similar phase, and these words changed my heart.. One of ILs wrote something like this (I think it is ParuSabari, if I remember right)' her daughters are like gifts from Ambal' And that time, her photo had her 2 daughters in cute pattupavadais.. And, when I saw those words and that picture, I realized, Ambal herself is blessing me with my LO.. so my thoughts changed for ever..
    Hope you quickly get over this phase..

    savitha
     
  10. ptamil2007

    ptamil2007 Gold IL'ite

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    Wow!!! I should say , pregnancy hormones are acting too much on you.
    and your DH is right, may be you did build it up all.

    Wake up girl!!! Girl or boy, what difference does it make, unless you have purchased all blue clothes for the baby.
    If its the case, get it exchanged or keep it for the next one :)

    What you need is distraction from these thoughts..I would say sit and pray to god for good health of the baby and yourself. The baby should be healthy, thats all matters.

    It would break your heart to see if your baby is unwell, that time, you would not think boy or girl. So think of the bigger picture, you are going to be a mother, time to start practising maturity :)

    All the best for your pregnancy
     

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