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Direct Deal or through DH? which is better communication in case In-laws?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by Reesha, Apr 15, 2015.

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  1. Apr 15, 2015 #1
    Reesha

    Reesha Silver IL'ite

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    Hi ladies,

    I am getting new problem that..My In-laws are planning to leave my home in next month. I have 1 yr boy & i am IT employee. so i hired caretaker for baby. I want to keep them at my home for various reasons...like having an eye on care taker...to provide love to baby & teaching to baby...so on....

    I want to ask them directly that we have need of them at home for baby. so try to stay with us for more long time. but when i had discussion with DH regarding this, he doesn't allow me to tell that(for baby) as reason to keep them hear. He is saying that " we can ask them to stay because we dont want to miss their love & affection."

    In reality, there is no particular reason to their move from my home. just to satisfy their "1 yr @ 1 son" policy they are moving. I am thinking to discuss with them in slow manner to explain our situation so that i can convince them to stay with us. But DH doesn't want to keep baby as reason. which is better? whether it's better to deal directly so my problem may solve or else through DH which my problem may not solve?
     
    Reesha, Apr 15, 2015
    Reesha, Apr 15, 2015
    #1
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  2. Apr 15, 2015 #2
    Ragini25

    Ragini25 Platinum IL'ite

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    Your baby is YOUR responsibility. Whether you work or need to quit job temporarily, its a decision that couples need to make.

    Its their (inlaws) wish where they want to move or visit. You can say your request in a polite manner, its upto them to make the final decision, since your request actually curtails their freedom (if they so feel that they want to leave).
     
    Ragini25, Apr 15, 2015
    Ragini25, Apr 15, 2015
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  3. Apr 15, 2015 #3
    abla

    abla Gold IL'ite

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    Is this the new problem now ? I thought you were overshadowed by your in laws being in your house and they treated you very inhumanely during your pregnancy etc .Now you want them to stay indefinitely at your place ?

    If you are really worried about your baby being deprived of love and attention during office hours then the only solution is taking a break from your job for few years .
     
    abla, Apr 15, 2015
    abla, Apr 15, 2015
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  4. Apr 15, 2015 #4
    Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Will they believe the 'don't want to miss their love & affection' reason or laugh really hard on hearing it? If you can manage the pretense, the DH reason is a better one.

    Even better, lavish so much love and affection on them, that they themselves feel like not leaving your house.
     
    Rihana, Apr 15, 2015
    Rihana, Apr 15, 2015
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  5. Apr 15, 2015 #5
    abla

    abla Gold IL'ite

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    But is this really true at least in your case ?Or is it just a tactic for help with the baby ?If yes please do not do it .
     
    abla, Apr 15, 2015
    abla, Apr 15, 2015
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  6. Apr 15, 2015 #6
    Ragini25

    Ragini25 Platinum IL'ite

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    Unless they are really dumb, they will roll on the floor laughing

    This is the BEST suggestion.
     
    Ragini25, Apr 15, 2015
    Ragini25, Apr 15, 2015
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  7. Apr 15, 2015 #7
    Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Well I am lavishing so many Likes on your posts but you disappeared. :)
     
    Rihana, Apr 15, 2015
    Rihana, Apr 15, 2015
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  8. Apr 15, 2015 #8
    Ragini25

    Ragini25 Platinum IL'ite

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    Lavish me, lavish me, I am back :)
     
    Ragini25, Apr 15, 2015
    Ragini25, Apr 15, 2015
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  9. Apr 15, 2015 #9
    Reesha

    Reesha Silver IL'ite

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    Arey...u people are commenting your selves instead of giving direct answer. of course this is not new problem. but it's time to approach for solution now. so i am asking which approach is better? either direct or husband?
     
    Reesha, Apr 15, 2015
    Reesha, Apr 15, 2015
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  10. Apr 15, 2015 #10
    nb25

    nb25 Gold IL'ite

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    Reesha,

    You appear to be undecided. You have many complaints against them, when they are staying with you. If you really want them to stay with you, you should try to get along better with them, and be grateful for their help. I like your husband's idea.
     
    nb25, Apr 15, 2015
    nb25, Apr 15, 2015
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