Dinner party snatchers? :-)

Rihana · Oct 28, 2012

I read the 'Friends snatchers' thread and thought I'll post this to read what members think...

I know a desi woman (A) from my kid's swim lessons, but not family friends with her.

A and her husband have 4 family friends B,C,D,E. They are mostly from the same state in India and speak the same regional language, and meet as a group for dinners etc.

C's parents currently visiting from India. A arranged to have a dinner party at her home. She called up B,C,D,E and got a Saturday that is good for all. All was almost fixed, B was last to call A to say yes they also can make it.

Then B springs this on A: "Hey, it's been a while since we met at my house, instead of your house, let's all meet for dinner at my house this Saturday"

A said, "No, let's meet at my house as planned... we can meet at your house another time.. I really want to invite aunty and uncle to my house before they leave for India"

B: "Does it matter whose house... I will call up C D E and tell them of venue change."

A got irritated, conversation got a little rough.. and finally they did meet at A's house as originally planned.

I think A put in all the effort to find a day that works for all, and made the menu etc, and then at the last minute B is trying to hijack/move the 5 families dinner party venue to her house. Not a nice thing to do.

Does that make B an attempted "dinner party snatcher"? Or do you think A could have gracefully given in and dinner party venue could move to B's house?

My DH found the whole attempted snatching of dinner party very funny, and said only women will care about such things.. guys will be more than happy if venue changes and they don't have to cook for 5 families... I said, "no, it matters whose house a dinner happens at... " DH said "same people, same food....., same talk... who cares.."

Your thoughts?

Topaz · Oct 28, 2012

Yeah, I would not be so uptight about it, if "all alphabets" are good friends, then it really should not matter......it seems to have been a potluck anyway so it should not have been such a big deal!

whatisaguytodo · Oct 28, 2012

I would have thought A would have been thrilled. No cooking, no cleaning. All she would have had to do is show up. Was it more than a dinner? Maybe A is having the dinner to show C's parents what wonderful hosts they are.

monita · Oct 28, 2012

Rihana said: ↑

[/B]"Does it matter whose house... I will call up C D E and tell them of venue change."
Click to expand...

If it doesn't matter, then why does she want the venue changed. There has to be a solid reason if she wants it, and even then it should be acceptable to A. People put a lot of planning into hosting a party and even though it might not matter to the guests, it does matter to the hostess.

Rihana · Oct 29, 2012

monita said: ↑

If it doesn't matter, then why does she want the venue changed. There has to be a solid reason if she wants it, and even then it should be acceptable to A. People put a lot of planning into hosting a party and even though it might not matter to the guests, it does matter to the hostess.
Click to expand...

That's what I thought... a lot of planning goes into a party, especially with multiple families invited along with some visiting parents. I rarely host big parties, but would have set up a time with the cleaners before or after the party, would have arranged a playdate for my younger child so he is not underfoot as I cook, and maybe even finished some shopping and chopping : ) by mid-week for a Saturday dinner.

I thought B came across like a typical "busier than thou" person, who is too harried to make the effort of picking up the phone and calling up people to fix a date/time for party, but when someone else has done it already, feels free to insist on venue change...

A funny situation overall though... quibble over dinner party venue.. : )

Uttaraa · Nov 1, 2012

I'd jump at the thought! Personally inform of the change in location to everyone! Make sure the guests I wasn't able to convince last time are enticed with the relocated graceful host!

Whosoever am sure will organize better party games and food than I would have!

(Slip on dvd and watch 'Godzilla' for 37th time..)

Dinner snatchers? :confused2: I wish I had all my friends like that ..would have loved them to death...alas! wishful thinking..

Radhai · Nov 1, 2012

venue does not matter to me as long as there is still a party (organized by me or others).
Like your DH said, same people, same food, same chat.

But I can understand why your friend got upset. She is right in her way too.

Geetanjalikumar · Nov 1, 2012

Rihana,

Your husband is right to an extent that it can be overlooked. But based on B's attitude, I think, this time it's dinner party, next time something else and later starts with controlling and taking the person for granted.

I think in the situation you described, when A explained that she wants them to visit her home, then B should take a step back instead of insisting on changing the venue.

Rihana · Nov 1, 2012

Uttaraa said: ↑

I'd jump at the thought! Personally inform of the change in location to everyone! ...
Click to expand...

Megalife · Nov 1, 2012

Between close friends, it doesnt really matter. But in this case I guess it was more of a prestige issue.....could have been brushed aside as a merry war.