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Dilemma In Choosing Career And Staying Away From Husband....plzz Help

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Bhanulakshmi, Feb 28, 2019.

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  1. Mar 1, 2019 #11
    Bhanulakshmi

    Bhanulakshmi Bronze IL'ite

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    i was almost trying for more than 6 months for job and couldn't get anything in CA.Many opportunities for my profile in east coast but didn't go because my kid was small then.
    I got vexed up and accepted the offer....dat too i accepted because the employer has agreed for more time to join and also gave a package more than what i asked.
    hopefully if i will be working I would get any call from CA and later i can switch....
    Thank you so much Anika for ur inputs...will keep in them in mind:)
     
    Bhanulakshmi, Mar 1, 2019
    Bhanulakshmi, Mar 1, 2019
    #11
    anika987 likes this.
  2. Mar 1, 2019 #12
    Bhanulakshmi

    Bhanulakshmi Bronze IL'ite

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    Hmm...that is running in our mind..If i get a H1 its great...
    that too getting a job after a break is a huge challenge...may b once i start working i would get anything in CA and I can move...
    or if i get H1 , my husband can take risk of changing his job...
     
    Bhanulakshmi, Mar 1, 2019
    Bhanulakshmi, Mar 1, 2019
    #12
  3. Mar 1, 2019 #13
    Jamelia02

    Jamelia02 Silver IL'ite

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    That's true. Either of your job should be stable for other to take risk. In such case, try to consider the second suggestion, if your daughter already goes to day care, it shouldn't be hard for him to take care of her given that they have a beautiful weather to support them. Hiring a nanny/helper in California is also possible. Like I have friend in San jose and she had a student(indian) who would come by and help in cooking and some high level cleaning. These students need a pocket money and since they have a work permit it was legal for my friend to hire her and pay them by hour. So, you can arrange such thing in California for some time and bring your daughter with you later, if its possible. Stay strong and wish you all the best.
     
    Jamelia02, Mar 1, 2019
    Jamelia02, Mar 1, 2019
    #13
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  4. Mar 1, 2019 #14
    DDream

    DDream Finest Post Winner

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    Don't worry OP, you will be fine. Congrats on your new job. Its a golden opportunity. Your kid is also small. So you dont have to worry about school etc. So try it. You got a very supportive dh. Once you settle you can explore more options so that all of you will be in same place. I know its good to be with family.

    Other ladies have already given valuable suggestions. I have moved from India to US all alone. It was not easy in the beginning. But I did it. One of my friend recently moved from one state to another, but her husband is managing kids for the time being. You can ask your dh whether he can manage kid for some time so that you go to new place, arrange everything, settle and later bring your kid. As your kid is involved first inquire about daycare options, apartments etc near your working place so that you don't have to drive much. Take with you all the things required for your kid and you so that you dont have to worry much about it in the beginning. If you use amazon, you can buy many stuff needed very easily. I think there may be uber/lyft etc, so you can try those in the beginning till you get comfortable with driving there. Talk with your colleagues or employer, they help you with feedback on how to making this transition easy .
    Good luck
     
    Last edited: Mar 1, 2019
    DDream, Mar 1, 2019
    DDream, Mar 1, 2019
    #14
    Bhanulakshmi likes this.
  5. Mar 1, 2019 #15
    shravs3

    shravs3 IL Hall of Fame

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    As you know tat USCIS is planning to end EAD so decide carefully. It’s better not to shift entire family since this is little stressful. May be leave your kid with husband and then wait for few months and check how it goes.
     
    shravs3, Mar 1, 2019
    shravs3, Mar 1, 2019
    #15
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  6. Mar 1, 2019 #16
    Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    In addition to the many suggestions, here's a thought: throw money at the problem.

    Many challenges can be mitigated by spending money on the options available. In the initial period of settling down, don't think too much about spending on conveniences. Better not discuss avoidable expenses or creative solutions with anybody other than husband. Sometimes, even tell husband as an fyi.

    There are many nice to have's: food freshly cooked everyday, quality time with child, clean home, doing most things yourself, teaching child to read, helping child socialize. Put all these on the back burner until you settle down.

    Ideally, get cooked food from outside, or cook ahead in the weekend. Spend time after child sleeps on work or reading about work related topics. This will help you do better at work. Do not spend your 10pm-midnight hours managing husband's dinner and life from remote.
     
    Rihana, Mar 1, 2019
    Rihana, Mar 1, 2019
    #16
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  7. Mar 2, 2019 #17
    Bhanulakshmi

    Bhanulakshmi Bronze IL'ite

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    Thanku Ddream..will keep in mind all ur suggestions
     
    Bhanulakshmi, Mar 2, 2019
    Bhanulakshmi, Mar 2, 2019
    #17
  8. Mar 2, 2019 #18
    Bhanulakshmi

    Bhanulakshmi Bronze IL'ite

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    Hey shravs..thanku soo much..hmm dats y husband is not daring to change fr now temporarily..
    Will think of this option too
     
    Bhanulakshmi, Mar 2, 2019
    Bhanulakshmi, Mar 2, 2019
    #18
  9. Mar 2, 2019 #19
    Bhanulakshmi

    Bhanulakshmi Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi Rihana..thank u so much for the suggestions yaar...
    Enquired about home cooked food n daycares..
     
    Bhanulakshmi, Mar 2, 2019
    Bhanulakshmi, Mar 2, 2019
    #19
  10. Mar 2, 2019 #20
    Bhanulakshmi

    Bhanulakshmi Bronze IL'ite

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    Hello wonderful ladies..now a bit relieved i m not making a huge mistake
    Atleast to giv a try n may not regret later for not trying..
    Thanku soo much for all the suggestions n will surely follow them
     
    Bhanulakshmi, Mar 2, 2019
    Bhanulakshmi, Mar 2, 2019
    #20
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