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Difficulty Faced In Getting Married

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by nandita24, Aug 26, 2017.

  1. nandita24

    nandita24 Gold IL'ite

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    I find that a number of young people are finding it extremely difficult in getting a suitable partner to marry. This may be due to a variety of reasons; the main concern being economic factors. Now there a number of people above 30 years who have not been able to marry and still looking for brides or grooms.

    I am wondering what's the negative or positive impact of all this on our society. And what could be some practical suggestions to ameliorate this situation. Also if this situation continues what could be the possible implications - will "marriage" undergo a transformation or will be it be replaced by a different "lifestyle"? If so, how?

    Your thoughts on this......!
     
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  2. Sweety82

    Sweety82 Gold IL'ite

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    Usually the reason why parents urge to get their daughters getting married is the above problem that you have mentioned. First they want to see their daughters getting married and settles securely in life earlier . Next when their daughter crosses 30, say at that time they get tensed and cannot urgently do things without any analysis on the bridegroom's family and will be pretty difficult for them..I know one of my relatives daughter was very strict in filtering grooms and imposed conditions on boy's look and education. But till now she has not got married and now she shouts at her parents on why they delayed. The parents consoled her and said she was very keen on boy's personality for that she answered that she was not matured enough at that time and it was parents mistake on why not to do it earlier. It is true that girls maturity level stabilises at around 25 or more but after marriage many things are there, (mainly understanding ) to get into a new relationship. if they get married earlier they may get stabilised after 30.
     
  3. Sandycandy

    Sandycandy IL Hall of Fame

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    Women these days are focusing on having a career and being financially independent before they get married. So they might take longer to find a suitable partner , but eventually marry on their own terms . They have more of a say in the kind of life partner they want, so this is a positive change. The man and woman start married life as equals which is the way it should be.
    There might be those that choose not to marry because they have not found the right person and I think that's perfectly ok too. Better to be single than being stuck in a unhappy marriage .
     
  4. Sweety82

    Sweety82 Gold IL'ite

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    Very true..
     
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  5. Nonya

    Nonya Platinum IL'ite

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    Recently my cousin who lives in Penang, Malaysia got to see a Tamil TV program called Neeya-Naana on Vijay TV. This is a talk-discussion program with two groups (panels) holding somewhat opposing views on a matter with a host in the middle facilitating the discussion. Apparently in the old days (before India got liberalized for foreign trade?) bridegroom's families in the somewhat upper middle class families would hold an upper hand in the negotiations in the arranged marriage scene. However, now it is apparently not so; now, the families of the girls hold the upper hand. The girls are financially more able, have jobs, money in the bank, and have a say-so on what they would like to have in a husband.

    Whether this is because there is a dearth of girls in the right age group (25-30) or whether it is the surfeit of men in the age group 25-35, I do not know. However, the parents/guardians of girls want to make sure that their girls get hitched to boys who are "settled" and make sure that their girls won't go into predicaments where they would become wage slaves to pay the EMI of some house-loan for a property that is registered in the names of her husband, or worse yet, his parents.

    The vijay tv program can be rewatched on the internet, but only in India or by those who are paying a subscription. The program is called "Shift of Power" -- apparently referring to the power shifting from the family of men to the families of women in the arranged marriage scene.
     
  6. sindmani

    sindmani Platinum IL'ite

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    Institute of marriage Will be there till the world exists. It is a BEAUTIFUL BOND OF LOVE (IT SHOULD BE) between a couple. Yes , for ur first part of the question, as @Sandycandy says ,its perfectly fine for groom n bride to settle down financially and marry.
     
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  7. Nonya

    Nonya Platinum IL'ite

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    hahaha... I found that shortage of girls is a cause in one south indian district. And the men had taken to finding brides in Kerala.

    https://www.telegraphindia.com/1100531/jsp/frontpage/story_12505625.jsp
    M. Anandan, a well-off farmer from Namakkal who married Suja from Trichur six months ago, said this was the first inter-caste wedding in his family. “At 35, when I could not find a suitable Tamil bride, I decided to look towards Kerala. There is much in common between our two languages. But we do have to make minor culinary adjustments since she needs coconut for everything,” he laughed.

    Harry Belafonte sang that lyric:"coconut woman is calling out...."



    [​IMG]
     
  8. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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  9. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    my jottings already in grey. thanks.
     
  10. blissfulmember

    blissfulmember Senior IL'ite

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    I believe current indian generations have more freedom to choose partners however they are not also completely westernized too. They are somewhat in the middle. Hence the grind.

    On one hand they are looking for freedom yet they are dependent on parents. They want everything perfect in their partner as potrayed by movie and stuff yet they are short on experience on pre-marital relationship thus find it hard to find the right one. They want to move ahead in career yet want to marry before the age of 30. They are open for love marriage yet fearful of divorce. It's a cocktail now.

    I believe with time indians will move towards more western society where people will judge less and less and are more free to carve thier own destiny.

    One should be very clear in mind. Either he/she should be solely responsible to find partner for themselves or one should be fully convince on arranged marriage by parents. Mixing this two causes chaos.
     

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