Hi All, Sorry for the long post. Need your advice on how to tackle a difficult situation at work. I joined a company around 1 and half years back. I love the work and also have a flexibility options, that works great for me as a mom. But since I have joined, I am facing multiple issues with people working there. This past year and a half has caused extreme stress in my life because of this. so even though I like the work I am unable to thoroughly enjoy it. Below are some such problems that I have faced at this place. 1. There is a group of ladies/girls and a few boys in this place that seem to be constantly making fun of others. Since first day, I seemed to be the target of their fun. They spoke to every new comer except me. Whenever I tried to join the conversation, they made a point that I was ignored. 2. If I tried talking to anyone else except this group, they get close to that person and turn her/him against me. 3. After year and half, I still dread going to this place every morning. Because no one talks to me. Yes, it sounds a little childish. But working whole day at a place, where you are being made fun of feels like a burden. 4. It is a small company, where the CEO's wife is the HR head. I am starting to realise that she repeats what I or someone else might have said in the team room. Please note that her cabin is at a remote place then where I sit. Not just that she also repeats what I might have typed in the skype messages with colleagues, whenever I talk to her. 5. This group that I have mentioned seems to be the favorite of this HR head(CEO's wife). They all hangout together as friends. 6. Since very beginning, I tried joining this group for lunch. But they make sure that they avoided me. When I realised that, I tried to join other people. Long story short, each one tries to avoid me even during lunchtime. And if I trust my instinct, there is someone who is trying to make sure that I am left alone. 7. Now, before I come to the most important point. 10-12 years back I was a lecturer at a commerce college. When I joined this current work place, there was a guy working at this place who has now left a couple of months back. So, he was my student back then and I failed to recognise him until now. It was a long time back and a lot had happened in my life in these 10 years because of which I couldn't recollect any student by this name. Whenever I would be working in the office and he would pass by, he would repeat things that I would say at home to my husband or daughter or on phone to my mom. Also now if I try to remember, he was also saying things that he or me or someone might have said 12 years back during the college time. He used to stay in the same complex that I did. And I am not sure about this, but whatever little I remember, he wanted to "go out for coffee" with me. There 2-3 more students like this, since I was hardly 2 years olders than these students. I taught there for almost 3 years and quit since I joined my husband outside India. There was a lot of stress at my home during my wedding. My in laws had lot of demands and my parents were hooked on getting me married. Amidst all these I might have denied this person to go out with him. Am not sure what exactly happened but I feel I might have done some injustice to him back then. 10 years later, he meets me at this work place. Didn't care to remind me or introduce himself, didn't care to talk to me himself. But just repeats statements.... Since I had not recognised him, I took this to HR. But turns out that this guy, the group of these ladies, HR person etc.. were all friends. An important point to note here is that he is an IT person. 8. So when I was talking to this HR person about this guy, she came with another girl's name, who I guess is his 'close friend' and I said I am not complaining about anyone in particular. She took it to the HR head (CEO's wife). And turns out that news floating around after this was that I complained about this girl. Now, this girl who is my student's gf, has been acting very weird with me since first day. Very very unfriendly. Also, she is a rich dad's spoiled brat and is very close friend with CEO and his wife especially. 9. After that my peer who is also a part of this group, started getting extra friendly with me. It felt almost like she was putting words in my mouth and making me say things in certain places like, in the team room, in lunch room etc. This lady is very bossy and though we both report directly to our manager, she tries to make a point that she is senior and bosses around. She along with another peer at the same level, tell other people including me where to sit, where to keep our water bottles, when to eat, what to eat, whether to go out during lunch time or not and they turn every new joinee against me. My work is completely different and workwise I don't see any competition, except for these ladies trying to boss me. 10. After this HR complaint, he stopped repeating but everyone else in the company including the top management started. I hardly talk when I am at work. So these statements that I was hearing were something I had said at home to my family about the company or the people there, especially this guy's friends. Now, my question is - What do you think this is? Is it politics at work or this guy is seeking revenge with his friends help? What is this group's aim in isolating me? Other than quitting, what other options do I have?
I do not understand complete situ ..other than you student want to go out with you, now co-worker turned everyone against you, he left but you are in mud. You are alone in company and people hate you. I think you should keep looking for other jobs at the same time and do not quit just yet. Things might get better with time. Some bad seeds might leave and others female or people in team may be left alone might come near you. People come and go a lot in any companies. Mean time, to be on saf side, keep looking for good jobs.
Try looking for another job.tough to work in such a place.sanity is more important than anything..nothing has changed even after a year and a half means..look for another job.life and work might be better
Hi Supermom Are you saying they r repeating things u said at home? I find this whole set of people immature. I feel u r being bullied at your work place. Everyone spends most of their time at work place than home. If you are not happy move on.
I had similar situations at work. I was extremely disturbed with similar treatments. Only way I could calm my mind was to forcefully concentrate on work. That helped me in 2 ways as 1. I could excel at work which was recognized some time later and 2. importantly I could make my mind ignore these happenings. You cold possibly try out the same if you've enough work to do. Doing so you would ignore them, which itself would be a defeat to them. Their purpose is to disturb and unrest you and when that doesn't happen, they'll begin to wonder. As you excel in your work, you can hope that the CEO and/or the HR head recognize that sometime down the line soon. Focus your mind in becoming an expert at work. Best wishes!
