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Different values

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Coolpriya, Apr 30, 2010.

  1. Priya16

    Priya16 IL Hall of Fame

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    Instead of fighting for seperate account,why don't you have open talk about helping your parents in the long run and what his take on that.

    Lot of families have these issues.In some families wife parents will take over and some families husband families will take over,

    For this matter you can't spoil your own marraige.First you need to establish strong foundation in your marraige then you can do things what you wish for.

    I have very difficult stage first 4 years of my marraige but things have changed slowly .My husband is tough person but he slowly relaised whom I am.

    So you need to start having discussion on the things which your bother.becuase of those things if you try control your earnings then it's a blind mistake on your part.Unless you open then don't understand your concerns.

    But don't compare how much he is spending on his parents vs your parents.Women are the primary peace makers of the house and it's house and you need build it.Don't try to compare each and everything with your husband.Things will change but it will take some time .

    All the best.Hope you understand what I am trying to say.
     
  2. 12adityas

    12adityas Bronze IL'ite

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    Therein lies your problem. As long as you perceive your 'immediate family' this way, you will always have a problem with everything he does. Your immediate family is NOT your mom & dad; its him & any kids you may have with him in the future. Once you change that perception & start seeing things from your OWN family (you & him) point of view, you can easily understand helping him by taking responsibility to maintain the house if you are not working, right? It takes two to tango & you both play an equal part in making a life and a family of your own.
     
  3. sarma

    sarma Senior IL'ite

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    it appears that you are squabbling abt the small stuff. You can probably ask him to send the money wherever you want. Might develop mutual trust.

    I do that at home. My wife just tells me to send to whom and how much. Occasionally I am curious and I ask but most of the time I know or guess why.
     

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