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Different Opinions

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Giri12, Feb 24, 2019.

  1. Giri12

    Giri12 Gold IL'ite

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    @GeetaKashyap thanks alot for ur advice. I am re reading ur reply to actually absorb the content more. As u said happiness is utmost thing although ways n tradition could differ.
    N actually we would love to get more lessons from u on this topic then only we will get more clear picture of how to handle this
     
    Thyagarajan and GeetaKashyap like this.
  2. Sunshine04

    Sunshine04 Platinum IL'ite

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    I wouldn't try to change him or force him to be religious. It will backfire. Every one have their own views. Please respect them
     
  3. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    Religious beliefs are very personal and should not be forced upon anyone including the spouse.
     
  4. shravs3

    shravs3 Finest Post Winner

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    Until and unless he doesn’t stop you to be religious its ok for him to not being religious.If he doesn’t stop you from doing puja that itself means that he respects your views and he is expecting the same. We cannot forcefully change one’s views.
     
  5. DDream

    DDream Platinum IL'ite

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    Giving space to each other and respecting others religious beliefs is very important in marriage. As long as he dont force you to do things in his way, you dont need to worry, I believe. Its not good to force spouse to do something that they dont like to do. I believe Pooja should be done with devotion and belief, if not, what is the use ? Accept him the way he is. Also be yourself and do whatever Pooja's you like to do. If he respects it, slowly he gets adjusted with it.
     
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  6. SunPa

    SunPa Platinum IL'ite

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    OP do read @GeetaKashyap 's post - so much wisdom in there, a lesson for me too

    Just wanted to point out something to you

    Do you realise how lucky you are that even though he doesnt share your belief and feels there are better ways to be a good human , he doesnt impose them on you?
    He willingly lets you lead your life your way, He respects your views , doesnt he?
    It is one thing to want him to share some time with you on your beliefs, some coorperation , it is another quite another thing to want to impose your views on him - as in I am right , you are wrong.

    Mutual respect and patience will go a long way.

    Sorry if that seemed a bit harsh but just my honest perspective .
     
  7. shyamala1234

    shyamala1234 Platinum IL'ite

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    Live and let live. Do not try to change or force. Life would be peaceful.
    Syamala
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 25, 2019
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  8. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Platinum IL'ite

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    @GeetaKashyap

    Your thoughts are very wise and your communication style is excellent.

    @OP, I also want to add that same religion is not required for bonding,there can be many other avenues for common interested/togetherness. Your husband seems like a good person -cares for poor, gives equality and freedom of religion to wife, and supported you so many times on pilgrimages till now. I hope you have a good happy life together and recognize you are lucky.Faith is a most personal matter, and it would be painful for him if you try to change his beliefs.
     
    Last edited: Feb 25, 2019
  9. rupz

    rupz Silver IL'ite

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    I guess i fall in between the situation.

    My H is npt much pious but if he feels he will go on his own to the temple and all or if we both are going there will list of things i will have to follow that is we will leave soon not stay for long and not need to buy flowers and all just pray and come back fast sort of..
     
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  10. preethignan

    preethignan Senior IL'ite

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    Hi in my case I'm the non traditional one.My husband also doesn't do Pooja daily but he does Pooja during all festivals.I have clearly told him that you cannot force others to pray It should come naturally.It hasn't come for me so let me be.He also understood and now we don't have any problems.

    So never force your husband to pray or perform Pooja.He might or might not change some day .Regarding bonding with husband there are many other ways to bond with your husband.
    Don't think that performing Pooja together is the only way to bond with him.Your in laws might have chosen Pooja as a binding factor.You both choose something likeable to you both in common and bond.
     
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