Difference of opinion with spouse in financial matters...

geeta_sathish · Feb 23, 2007

Hi people,

This thought has been bothering me for a while and I couldn’t think of a better platform than the IL forum to get some sensible views.

My question is this - How to handle difference of opinion among couples when it comes to monetary matters? My best friend cribs that her husband does not give her a lot of money, but is very affectionate otherwise and tells her to ask him if she wants anything. As she has been financially very independent before marriage, she finds it difficult to ask someone for money, even though that someone is her husband. For instance, she was upset that she is not able to give a surprise gift to her husband, as she has to tell him what she wants the money for.

Another friend conversationally mentioned that her husband takes care of all household expenses out of his salary, and all her income goes into her bank as savings and she spends it however she feels. That did not sound fair either.

This problem arises more among newly married couples. So, in a husband and wife relationship, how and who should be responsible for handling finances?? How to solve this "My Money - Your Money" syndrome?

Your valuable ideas and sensible suggestions will help a lot of couples. So, please feel free to share your personal views and experiences.

Cheers,
Geetha Satish

Tulasi · Feb 24, 2007

Re: Difference of opinion in financial matters...

hi geetha,

I feel husband and wife should have joint account and manage the money wisely. but most of the time this is not the case b'coz husband may think wife
spends a lot so he might control but asking them for each and everything will
be very difficult. that if you are independent working in india all of a sudden you feel like you need to depend on you should talk with the husband just need to make him understand how you feel each time to ask him for money..

Shanvy · Feb 24, 2007

Re: Difference of opinion in financial matters...

geeta_sathish said: ↑

My best friend cribs that her husband does not give her a lot of money, but is very affectionate otherwise and tells her to ask him if she wants anything. As she has been financially very independent before marriage, she finds it difficult to ask someone for money, even though that someone is her husband.
Click to expand...

There are lot of ladies like your friend. few around me who feel the same why should you feel difficult in asking for money. i understand independency before marriage. how much money is little money is another
question. I remember the days, i would try to save from what my hubby gives, to give that suprise gift, inpsite of having a joint account and all. the saving gave that added thrill to the buying and presenting the gift.

Regarding, how you manage your finances, depends on the priorities. When I and my friend planned to go shopping once, my husband gave me RO200 (rial omani currency) and my friend's husband gave her rO50. by the time we came home, i had spent RO10, and she had borrowed some more from me and spent around 100. This example to tell there are people who are impulsive and dont track their spending.

But there are husbands who just take the salary cover on the 1st and give Rs.10 everyday to the wife and also take care of all the other things needed. they feel that they can do the planning, saving better i suppose.

So differences do come. but leaving the ego and your money, my money attitude and thinking on our money really helps a lot.

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Difference of opinion with spouse in financial matters...

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