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Did your life get better or worse after Divorce?

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by Grihani, Sep 24, 2015.

  1. Grihani

    Grihani Gold IL'ite

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    Did your life get better or worse after Divorce?
    Your experience in this matter will be of help to a lot of women here contemplating separation or Divorce.

    There are so many battling with their own thoughts, with their families and confused ....do help by sharing your thoughts, your experiences or those of people you know who have been through Divorce/Separation
     
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  2. paramlav

    paramlav Silver IL'ite

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    It depends ... One of my neighbor daughter suffered a lot in her marriage got divorced and after some time she married again and so happy now with 3yrs old kid.
    Another is my frnd she too struggled a lot even lost kid bcoz of that ***** got divorced but still people blame her she could been continued her relationship who is noway human being
     
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  3. Sindhujaft

    Sindhujaft Gold IL'ite

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    It depends on the individual... Two of my neighbours were literally abused and had gone thro both mental and physical torture after marriage... One with the kid... They tortured her by the time she got conceived... And finally she came out of the hell and got divorce... And now she got married again and happy with the kid.... But the other girl, even she has gone thro physical harassment and filed a case for divorce... But the guy's family dragged the case for 5 years... Finally she got divorce after 5 yrs and now working as a lecturer in college... But till date she didn't get second Alliance...
     
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  4. lucky22

    lucky22 Gold IL'ite

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    Totally depends on how good or bad is the situation within the married couple. There may be some minor differences/clashes between the couple which can be hashed out, but only and only if the couple has tremendous love, trust and mutual understanding/respect between each other.

    On other hand, if the couple has high differences with extremely opposite personalities/beliefs without mutual respect towards each other, then it is definitely a good idea to consider if divorce will be appropriate. At the end of the day, one needs to be fulfilled with at least the basic little things in the life , there is no point in living (suffering) together if those basic requirements are not met.

    I have first hand experience, as me and my ex husband were totally opposite personalities with different beliefs and we did not have anything in common. Added to these, he started to abuse me as i was not submissive to his beliefs and i hanged onto my way of living life. To give an example, I liked wearing knee length skirts and he objected to this saying i was revealing too much and he went to an extent of tearing up my skirts and threatened to kill me if i buy anything like those again. You can read my past threads to get an idea what kind of differences i am talking about. So i decide to call it quits and got divorced about an year ago, but not before i tried really hard to bring all of it together. Today, i am happy for the decision i made and living a happy and blissful life with having new doors opened in my life, its like getting a second chance at life.

    Hope i made sense.
     
  5. lucky22

    lucky22 Gold IL'ite

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    And one more point to add, like i said earlier, it totally depends on the individual situation but its an entirely different ball game if there are kids involved in the marriage. A couple may divorce each other and become ex-husband and ex-wife, but parents are always parents, even if they are not with each other anymore. A mother never becomes an ex-mother and father never becomes an ex-father, so there are a lot of things to consider before a couple who are parents are contemplating divorce.

    Just my :my2cents:my2cents.
     
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  6. nuss

    nuss Finest Post Winner

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    Divorcing my ex was one of the best decisions I ever made. So glad I got out of the toxic environment. I was happy as a single and also now- married and 2 lovely kids.
     
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  7. kitty89

    kitty89 Silver IL'ite

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    Divorce made my life easier and happier. It has definitely made my life better.
     
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  8. catwalk

    catwalk Gold IL'ite

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    A divorce is not a ''good experience'.

    I have few cousins who have gone through it. Initial days after divorce, a women who is divorced would be ''hot topic'' in relative/ friends circle. Some would pretend to be empathetic and try to extract more information from the victim. Some add spices and colors to it. On the other hand, Ex IL's would always spread negative comments about her to protect their side right. There is lot of politics. She must be
    really strong to overcome all these pressures. Her family support is very critical in this period.

    Living alone in India with divorced status is another challenge. In workplace / public
    some men see them as an easy pray. Some of them offer ''free'' emotional support, counselling etc and offer '' friendship'. If she denies, they would also start to spread stories to thrash her reputation. So it is better to keep a distance from everyone for a while. This increases the mental pressure though a better solution than mingling with all.

    Public would not leave the divorced women alone. Relatives / Friends would pop up with proposals from other ''divorcees''. If she rejects, that become another reason for them to put the stamp that she is arrogant.

    In our experience, if someone go through divorce, better relocate to a far away place or abroad for some period. Regain your mental balance / strength. Think about another alliance with ample time. Do not make decisions in a hurry. Please
    evaluate the proposals from divorced men twice. It is better to consult their previous partner if possible. In many cases, reason for the divorce was psychological disorders. It is difficult to live together with such partners.

    One of my cousin re-married and the husband is having OCD. He was divorced and married my cousin as his second attempt. They did not tell the reason for the failure of his first marriage. Reason for the divorce from first marriage was also OCD of the husband. In work place / in front of public both persons behaved extremely gentle and possessing very good positions. So it is very difficult to judge their character from public image.

    She can't think of a divorce again. She is now living like a vegetable. She has
    two kids from second marriage.
     
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  9. ivlakshmi

    ivlakshmi Platinum IL'ite

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    It depends on luck..i have seen 3 divorcee girls getting married to eligible bachelors who dont have any psycological issues. In which 2 had love marriage and arranged marriage for another girl.
    in my case satying with ex is also bad and so is my status after getting divorced. Remarriage to a right guy via arranged marriage looks very difficult.
     
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  10. blossomingbud

    blossomingbud Silver IL'ite

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    Before answering OP, I want to ask a question. Why is success of a second marriage a parameter for a first marriage divorce. If a second marriage fails it doesn't make a previous decision or reasons any less valid.

    A lot of my relatives/friends asked me similar questions/concerns/suggestions/advice when they came to know about my divorce proceedings. "What will you do if your second marraige is worse?"..."known devil better that unkown evil"...examples of all those who got back together after seperation..examples of all those who are still together in worst conditions...examples of abusive second marriages...what is the gaurantee that you will be happy after divorce.

    I heard them all. My answer was simple. I may or may not get marraied again. I may or may not have a happily ever after. But there is some probability of me being happy after divorce where as if I stay marraied there is none. I took the decision knowing that I have no chance of a healthy relationship with my Ex.

    To answer OP, I am a lot better after my divorce. I have absolutely no regrets.
     

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