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Did Your Competitive Spirit End ?

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by anika987, Aug 25, 2021.

  1. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

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    I was a very highly motivated, competitive person during my teens.I used to have so much fear to stand on stage and give performances in school and college.I craved that recognition.However,the claps and people appreciating me after the performances were over gave me such a high.

    When I came to US after wedding,I was friends with a group of ladies where there was severe competition ranging from who looked the best,who was the thinnest,who was talented etc etc..It was so energy draining but I guess the younger years were that way:) I tried my best to be popular(?) lol and I got it in a negative way.There was so much jealousy and backbiting amongst us.One good thing about me If I can say,I did not get backbiting coz my focus was only to be recognized but of course even it came with a lot of flak. Just being brutally honest.

    Relatives were no less.Who was richer, who got the bigger house, who travelled a lot..
    Infact,many did not like me coming abroad.Even they tried to jeopardize my marriage with my husband which was a different story.

    Anyways,After kid came into the picture..I kind of got a realization that none of the above mattered much but still was not there..It was hard when my relatives compared weight,color,height of the kid and why I did not lose weight coz I was a lot into fitness etc.

    A little later I started to relax a lot more.Cut off toxic friendships,anything which did not serve me,started understanding MY reality and what I actually wanted,stopped comparing and finally limited my realtives.

    Honestly..my life is good only now.It took such a long time to realize this.I do not do anything anymore for recognition coz I think the right people will like us for who we are and the rest do not matter.

    Biggest benefit is I was off social media coz instagram and facebook in most cases atleast the ones I personally knew were a total different reel VS real:)

    Wanted to journal the above.

    I am sure we all have been competitive and craved recognition but it is human nature and for our peace of mind, it is good to lessen it.It is not that one is not motivated or stopped living but focusing all our energy on things which really matters to us is more important.When did your competitive spirit end?Or were you always the kind of person who lived for yourself and cared two hoots for what others think?
     
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  2. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    "Did your competitive spirit end?"
    Nice to ponder on this. I'd say I had more of a "I need to fit in" spirit. A competition with myself to fit in. : ) It did end. Though not soon enough much to my dismay.
     
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  3. candidheart

    candidheart Platinum IL'ite

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    I think I was never competitive. I was always complacent. (probably that's why am not "successful?!" :))
    But it keeps you happy:thumbsup:
     
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  4. vidhyalakshmid

    vidhyalakshmid Platinum IL'ite

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    I used to take part in debates (pattimandram in tamil) when I was in India. When I came to US, there was no opportunity or venue to showcase the talent. In southern california I got few opportunities. My spirit was low, but during this covid pandemic I am doing online debates in many platforms.During the last 6 months I did many compared to a decade. So, my competitive spirit is rejuvenated and still alive.
     
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  5. EverydayBloom

    EverydayBloom Gold IL'ite

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    Good post OP,

    To be honest I was never competitive enough to be the best/popular in the group but always doing best in my own way from doing good in studies to settling down well. I do feel sometimes people get uncomfortable with ones success which in turn comes out as jealousy and hurt the "successful" (in their own way). I do experience it for being Happy and content for what I achieved. I give least importance to "fit in" or feeling competitive and do best in my own journey which actually gave me real best results.
     
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  6. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    1. You are your only competition.
    2. As long as you are doing better today than yesterday things are good.
    3. I’m older and more mature and do not have the time for trivialities
    4. Maybe being more mature i can see the senselessness in my old competitive ways.

    I think my response to this thread should be the above but dare anyone get to the carpool line before me. I’m always first. If I’m second, I’m going to be really upset. On Friday I was 8th in line. I almost lost my mind! My DH keeps asking me why does it matter. As long as you are there before carpool closes! I have to be there because I want my sons name to be called out first. If he’s going, I drive him insane by making sure he leaves on time to get there first.
     
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  7. Roar

    Roar Gold IL'ite

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    I am just like you.. I have 99 problems but fitting in isnt one.
    I beleive one can be good friends and just get along fine without fitting in. Sometimes it dosnt work but thats fine too...I only try the best I can, somehow competition dosnt motivate me enough. So there wasnt much 'competitive spirit' to start with.
    Many call my parenting 'relaxed' but well if I try not to be me; I usually ruin it so...
     
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  8. Roar

    Roar Gold IL'ite

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    If it has kept you happy then its a sweet success according to me!
     
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  9. anika987

    anika987 Finest Post Winner

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    I used to be extremely competitive and wanted to be very popular and infact had that “fire” in me..Dreams were very huge..

    Some did get materialized but in all honestly I was always in turmoil.Even now I have that fire for I use my energies to do things I love.

    Sucess today to be me is sitting in my backyard,drinking my filter coffee peacefully:)

    You are already a success dear as long as you are happy:)
     

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