When others responded with "I can take a flight and come now", "OMG so sorry to hear that.. How can I help?", "Let me know any time of the day or night if you need to talk or any help", she said: " ... It happened to xyz, they did this. Hope .. better soon. Take care. Keep me posted." I was speechless at that response from someone who could complete my sentences, an 18 year friendship that we laughingly compared to a marriage, and countless monthly/2x a month lunches. For some reason, the "Keep me posted", and the absence of a "what can I do to help?" cut me to the quick. After an hour (the longest of my life), I responded back by quoting the message (I never quote the message that is just above) and said "Will do." Of course that was hint enough, and I got the requisite, "Do you need help, shall I come now, <husband name> can come. Don't worry..." I am done with maintaining the friendship at that intensity. That small interaction caused a friendshift. I looked for ways to dial down the friendship, and started that process - cut down on the frequency of texting, did not tell about stuff I'd have otherwise shared with her, less proactive about setting up lunch meetings. The alternatives were: - discuss it with her frankly, - let her know I was hurt, - give her the benefit of doubt like maybe she was not available that day for some reason - maybe she thought we are so close she need not say in words, "how can I help" - let it slide, why ruin a ~20 year friendship for one thing - tell her I care for her/us but need some time-out or need to devote more time to other things, so might not meet/chat as often. I ruled out all these alternatives without much doubt. I see no benefit to her or to me if I discuss it with her. Question: Letting a friendship fade out from a deep, close one to a much lighter one without sharing the reason - is this equivalent to ghosting? A slow ghosting? .