1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

DH Promised will not abuse me again- Very happy now

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by priyankav789, Jul 6, 2009.

  1. priyankav789

    priyankav789 New IL'ite

    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    physically abusing nad saying sorry again.... Wht to do?

    Hi everybody


    Thaks for all your valuable time and replies for my previous post.

    I am in same type and more tipical situation now. i fell whether our relation ( I and Dh ) has come to a peek point now.
    If i talk now definetly it will come to a picture it seems. but in dilama.

    Day before yesterday we had one more situation. Now i am in dilama to handle this.
    I and my DH had a fight for small reason. ( reason is very dummy reason, every time he fight like that only, i came late form the office, i could not inform him as my cell is charging is down, i saw this after getting in to the cab in the evining ) because of that he got angry. i know people feel very silly in this. initially i thought he is more caring about his wife. Now a day i came to know this is not caring. it is just to show his ........... if i dont inform such a small things also... now a days he is getting angry.

    He started abusing verbally. When he abuses versbally, we cont listen those workds. they will be very harsh. I told him very seriously to stop that nonsence. Then he got angry and started abusing physically. Then i told him "i dont want you, everytime you are doing like this. after that you say sorry. But now i dont accept your sorry. I want to go out from the home" Beacuse of that he got very angry and he seviourly beated me. He ebated on my face with out minimum common sence. now my side tooth are seviurly attcked. and my lips are came drak balk colur with swelling. And my left hand is now very painfull.
    He called his parents and cried over the phone and asking them come immediatlely. I was suprissed.. after beeting me he cried and made the phone to his parents??? really... i think i should tell reagarding this abuse to his parents/ my parents before itself. I thought like anyway after that he is felling very bad and saying sorry, why to make it bigger.
    Now his parents immediatly came to bangalore( who went to other sons house).
    After reaching here three are they not talking to me.. and they dindt even see my face till now.
    I think they are thinking that i have done some thing for his osn, thats why he cried in the phone and aking them to come.

    Now my situation became very worst in the home. they are not talking to me from past two days. I feel like a hell at my home.
    And trying to avoid me in all the area.
    My husband also noticed that. And saying i am feeling bad now.
    i cooked some specials in the week end saturday, as they had come to my MIL and FIL had come to house, they dindt even touch that.

    I told my husband i want to tell your parents wht happend. he told no.. please dont tell.,
    As per my expecations... definetly they are thinking bad on my part. untill i say wht happend here.. they will not come to know .. right?
    My husband is saying.. i only will tell some lie to them. it wont come on to you. You will be good only. but dont tell wht happend here.

    I am in confussion now.. wht should i do.. i think our relation ship has come to a peek point now.

    I have already informed my mom...( my father is expired before my marriage) he is coming to bangalore by tomarrow.
    then wht should be the next step? should i told to his parents and have a discussion on this( still he is saying sorry and asking to not to say)

    Please help me with your suggessions.
     
    Last edited: Jul 6, 2009
    Loading...

  2. Prettina

    Prettina Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,549
    Likes Received:
    55
    Trophy Points:
    115
    Gender:
    Female
    Re: physically abusing nad saying sorry again.... Wht to do?

    OMG

    Priyanka Im very much sorry dear

    I agree he beat you up and you didnt inform his parents because he said so.

    this is not fair dear

    He will abuse you and act in front of them.

    he is very smart.

    Please let his parents know how cruel animal he is.

    Let the whole issue be opened before your both parents dear.

    First you have to discuss in front of the whole family including him

    You have no need to tell him that you are going to discuss with the whole family

    And regarding your MIL and FIL misbehaving is What do you know what wrong impression he has made on you ????

    And you say that he abuses and then regrets.

    What the point in abusing you and then regretting will the pains and injury disappear?

    You say that he has beaten you up so badly did your MIL & FIL didnt notice it????????

    Go to a Dr and take some medicines dear.

    SO I feel open up your mind otherwise you will become sick.
     
    Last edited: Jul 6, 2009
  3. flowerlady

    flowerlady IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,921
    Likes Received:
    2,474
    Trophy Points:
    308
    Gender:
    Female
    Re: physically abusing nad saying sorry again.... Wht to do?

    Dear Priyanka,
    Put a stop to physical abuse, why are you forgiving your DH his rotten behaviour ? You are badly hurt and you are making delicacies for in-laws which they are rejecting, what are you telling them ?? You are saying that all is fine and normal. Your Dh must be scared that now you will definitely take some action but you are hosting dinners etc. This is awful ,you are inviting more trouble.
    Your in-laws will not side with you but with their son ,saying sorry is not enough. You are earning and can take live in a PG or take a house on rent , move out. Beatings are way of subjugating a person and humiliating her. You are not a punching bag and please dont behave like one. I am saying this becuz beatings worsen as the dh finds pleasure in seeing his wife turned into a rag.This is not love at all. Good you called your mother and told her, imagine how she must be feeling! Take leave and go home to think of your next step.
     
  4. priyankav789

    priyankav789 New IL'ite

    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Re: physically abusing nad saying sorry again.... Wht to do?

    Hi pretiina, and flower lady

    Thanks for immediate response
    Yes..i too feel the same.
    i should say to his parents whts happening here with me.
    if not they think i am doing something wrong.
    My mother is on the way she will come by tomarrow early hrs.
    so.. once she comes i am planning to have a talk with everybody.
    defenetly it is risk part from my husband
    he did the mistake and called, cried with their parents.... now i am understanding his behaviour.
    now also he is saying when he calls me,,, dont worry with his parents behaviour.. he can handle it. But i hvae lossed all the confidence on him.
    if he say something favour to me also.. definetly they feel bad.

    Till now i am just scarred to take further steps. because family reputaion may come down,, my mmother may depressed with this... But now i am fully confident and handle this even i am ready to fight for my self.

    Thanks a lot to every body.
     
  5. priyankav789

    priyankav789 New IL'ite

    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi everybody,

    This is an update on my issue i posted previously.
    Last night we had the discussion on this.
    I have opened everything infront of their parents and my mom.
    My DH said sorry infront them. And told he cont live with me.
    I told if it repeates i will leave.
    He was very upset and promised that he wont repeat it again.
    If it is repeated in future i can definetly come out the family with out any isses. They will return the dowry also at that time, and my money which they have used after my marriage. ( this i dindt ask.. My FIL and MIL only told)
    Initially my MIL and FIl supported my DH a lot . I have showed my physical hurt and they came to know the issue, They could not speak out..

    So... Anyway.. now i am happy.
    My DH is going to meditation from today morning.
    Hope everything will be fine.
    Really now i am very happy....till 2 days before i was in very depressive mode. Now i took the control.
    Hope Dh wont abuse me again.

    Thanks a lot dears for all valuable suggessions. As per your suggessions only i could done this. Other wise i was with out any ideas before.


    Thanks a lot again.

    Cheers
    Priyanka
     
  6. shakambari

    shakambari Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    4,703
    Likes Received:
    625
    Trophy Points:
    240
    Gender:
    Female
    I am really happy for you ,Priyanka.

    All the best.:cheers
     
  7. Sushmakiran

    Sushmakiran New IL'ite

    Messages:
    43
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Gender:
    Female
    Good Priyanka, I am really happy for u,just make sure that u have the control in ur hand, even a single verbal or phisal abuse, dont take it anymore, better watch him no matter how good he is with u, they might be calm for sometime, but again he might come back to his originality, i am not scaring u, but i just want u to be carefull.

    Good Luck!
     
  8. Prettina

    Prettina Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,549
    Likes Received:
    55
    Trophy Points:
    115
    Gender:
    Female
    Wow i am happy our prayers are heard

    God is great priyanka

    Enjoy
     
  9. Drpreethis

    Drpreethis Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    3,315
    Likes Received:
    186
    Trophy Points:
    160
    Gender:
    Female
    We are happy for you, Priyanka !! Really.

    I appreciate you coming back to IL and letting all of us know about the positive things happening in your life too ! We seldom see that. It feels really good to us all that, indeed the members' time and concern were all worth it !! I really appreciate your gesture of coming back to write. Thanx to you !
     
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2009
  10. amul

    amul Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    971
    Likes Received:
    27
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi priyanaka,


    very very happy for you.
    wish you all the best for ur happy life.

    regards
    amul
     

Share This Page