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DH like FIL does that bother you....

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by CharuKaur, Jul 7, 2010.

  1. CharuKaur

    CharuKaur Senior IL'ite

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    Hey ladies

    Not many of us like the culture/habits in our ILs family. I, for one, do not like some gestures or style of activities in my ILs family at all!
    Does it ever bother/scare you that your DH might also start behaving like you FIL some years down the line? Please share your thoghts ladies... would love to hear.

    Have a nice day,
    Charu..
     
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  2. asuitablegirl

    asuitablegirl Gold IL'ite

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    Actually, I'm more scared that my dh would ever start acting like his MOM! :rotfl
    Fil is typical guy from his time... believes women should be soft spoken and submissive. Yet somehow, he ended up with my loud spoken and dominating mil. :bonk But he has tolerated her all these years, so maybe he is not as typical as I thought. If my dh were like him, it wouldn't be TOO bad. My fil has several positive things about him which I admire.

    My hubby is who he is though. Although his family will have some influence as to who he is as a person, I believe it's up to each of us who we want to be. I think my dh will continue to be how he is now, with small changes here and there as the years go by. Since my dh spent so little time with his family growing up, and so little time with them now, it's hard to imagine how he could totally morph into either of his parents.
     
  3. Ammu1204

    Ammu1204 New IL'ite

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    Hi,

    How I really wish he becomes like my father In Law.

    My FIL is great person. I only wish he does not become like my MIL who is little selfish.

    But my Husband is like neither of them ..he has bits and pieces of both so no issues as of now :)
     
  4. ShilpaMa

    ShilpaMa IL Hall of Fame

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    Charu, it happen(s)ed with me, he does change for the bad and does so when they visit.. however I guess he gets bored of being bitter to everyone and changes in sometime. Occassionaly does take up his dad's habits of cleaning all the toys :bonk& cooking for himself, which is more than welcome... all people are a mix of good & bad, what we get to see of a person is our fate and partially in our hand.

    He agrees that he gets influenced v easily and hence once they leave the de-influence also takes the same latency.

    Also I feel now with more open means of communication you can convey what the person needs to change than keeping it within onself.. feeling offended and reciprocating in an equally bad manner leading to further bad behaviour from each party.
     
  5. CharuKaur

    CharuKaur Senior IL'ite

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    Thank you for your replies ladies.

    yes i agree that every individual has his own way of dealing with things.
    Over the years though, i am noticing myself t obehave similar to my parents, speak in their style at times etc etc..
    I love my husband and his habits (hate some of them ofcourse :rotfl). But when he starts to speak in the same tone as his father or behaves somewhat like his father, it scares me a lot! And as you rightly mentioned, it happens more often when his parents are around.
    Maybe its just my "typical" dislike against my ILs that i cant stand the thought of my husband behaving like my FIL!!!!!

    Have to live with it, i know!

    Thank you for sparing time to read the thread girls.
    Have a good one!
     
  6. divs

    divs New IL'ite

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    I can already see traces of my FIL in my husband. And that really scares me. With my FIL, it is next to impossible to disagree with his views. My FIL is extremely opinionated and highly dominating, it always has to be his way on the highway. This coupled with his extreme temper apparently made my MIL even consider leaving my FIL, from what I've heard. I often find my husband also tending towards the exact same characteristics as my FIL. I know that the more he takes to my FIL in terms of characteristics, the harder it is going to get for me. Will he become just like my FIL? Only time will tell. I hope not though, its quite tough as is shakehead.
     

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