DH having affair. How to confront?

heron · Oct 2, 2013

He is keeping his ex's foto and says she is cute????? and now this Manjusha.

How about teaming up with Manjusha's hubby?. I am sure he will listen to you as its his wife involved. Don't make an open confession, just ask Manjusha's husband to play a part too...Your husband may explode when he knows the truth or IF he knows it(DONT SAY IT!), just sneak up.

anjivicky · Dec 30, 2013

Hi VanillaSky,
Sorry to hear about your problem. This is definitely not the right thing that your hubby can do. But Instead of confronting, why don't you try these:
1. Get a job and become financially independent.
2. focus on your kids and keep yourself active and occupied all the time.
3. Try your best to ignore him. Don't keep nagging or crying in front of him. Show that you are happy without him at home.
4. Don't try to pry into his phone or call logs or whatever. This is simply going to spoil your peace and is not going to help you in any way.
5. Find out what you would like to do very much.. Like exploring recipes, painting, gardening etc., and enjoy doing it in your free time, even if he is at home. This would show him that you are happy even without him.
6. Get yourself a facial or a haircut and pamper yourself. Make yourself self confident. Take that 'Sorry figure' attitude off your mind.:2thumbsup:
7. Avoid any sort of conversations with your DH. Good or bad.. Don't go and initiate anything. Become independent financially and emotionally.
8. Try to save some money for your future and for your kids.. Open an RD or anything of that sort. This will again pamper your mind.
9. Make friends around your home.. or at workplace.. Organize a party at home and invite them over often and have a bash. DH would surely realize that he is being left out from all the fun !! arty
10. Take your kids out to park or beech any recreation center often. Get them toffees and candies or toys and pamper them too. That way your kids would shower you with love and you will not feel the loneliness !:yes:

Don't let the problem F**# you.. Start F**ing the problem !! :twisted:
All the best and may God help you to get your hubby back from the clutches of the evil friendssmiley

complainBaby · Dec 31, 2013

VanillaSky said: ↑

He must have complained to that beep on me. It disgusts me that he may have discussed me with her.ladies I need your advice.I never ask him to buy me anything or take me out etc. All I wanted was a loving relationship with him and this is what I get. I wish the earth opens up and gobbles me and tAkes me where I can't feel this pain..."
This time he said "secrets are secrets no value, u r da one for me". Thats not acceptable to me. I don't want to dwell in the harem that is his heart. I want to be The queen..seems unlikely. How do I make him understand? How do I make him cut off this affair.# emotional affair
Click to expand...

He dos,NT deserve u leave him ,take stand for ur self respect

VanillaSky · Jan 8, 2014

I saw his chat with her on whatsapp. I called her and told I'm uncomfortable with their friendship. The chat was inappropriate etc. She sed she wouldn't continue it. Now dh is mad at me he is cutting me off...

VanillaSky · Jan 8, 2014

The conversation:
M: don't email, whatsapp me
Dh:u r a smart girl I didn' t hit on a dumb one
M: thanks for the flowers
Dh: keep me missing u
M: photo in Saree
Dh: u look like wine in the cellar
M: thanks..happy New year to u n family
Dh: how is your son...

VanillaSky · Jan 8, 2014

He says I should have talked to him about it rather than calling her. I had no right to call her he sed. May be yes but I thought that was the only way to stop it. Now he revealed he speaks the same way to 2-3 other women also whom he had feelings for in the past. He said it's casual flirting. I asked him if he would talk like that in my presence or in her hubby's presence. Sed no

VanillaSky · Jan 9, 2014

He says I messed it up. He would take a break from this friendship and resume it if I patch up with her!! He was not very loving before this incident. But now he's totally stopped interacting with me. Ladies, is thete anything I can do now?to have a happy marriage? I feel wasted and sad. I want my man.

yellowmango · Jan 9, 2014

This is the man you have and you still want him.He is a lucky man....

VanillaSky · Jan 9, 2014

Situation is quite confusing, ladies.that's why I'm not getting any replies.
He encourages me to have a career, he brags about me to his friends etc. This flirting thing doesn't quite fit in the picture.he asked me what's the harm in talking that way, it's not going anywhere, we r both married. I sed it hurts to know that u remember ur crushes, gfs, etc and keep in touch with them after marriage. And he says that's why I didn't tell u abt it. I strongly feel he should flirt with me not anybody else..that is reserved for me right?