1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Would you like to join the IL team? See open jobs!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  4. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

DH Got emotionally connected with a Female co-worker in Official trip

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by cutesmile09, Jun 27, 2015.

  1. cutesmile09

    cutesmile09 Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    298
    Likes Received:
    76
    Trophy Points:
    68
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi Ladies,

    I never thought in my wildest dreams that my DH can do this to me, He went to attend an official trip to attend conference n stayed with his colleagues for 9days where I found out he got emotionally connected with one of his female colleague, he says nothing serious but he just felt close with her at that moment n he said that he forgot everything abt her n is committed to me, He never hided his pictures with her nor the txt msg, though they were not too personal but definitely alarming, he asked to trust him n was ready to swear on my DD(which I didnt agreed), he shared everything with me but somehow I couldn't digest this fact!

    Shall I give him a benefit of doubt, wht shd I do as I am worried that he will be on business trip in next 2 weeks for 2days n that Lady( married with 2kids) will also be there. I know my DH from past 12yrs n never behaved like this before, we both love each other madly n yes we will have fights(though they end up within 24hrs) as any other couple n he got little distanced from me since last few months due to new job profile n work pressure, How to fill the Vaccum in my life!!
     
    Loading...

  2. Iamagoodgirl

    Iamagoodgirl Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,628
    Likes Received:
    1,406
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    OP if your husband is self aware, he wont act on his feelings.
    Encourage him to be transparent.
     
  3. cutesmile09

    cutesmile09 Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    298
    Likes Received:
    76
    Trophy Points:
    68
    Gender:
    Female
    Thanks Iamagoodgirl for your reply, My DH never realised that he got bonded with her unless I pointed out about this after he shared everything with me, but he said that all happened unintentionally without any ill-feelings, he felt sorry for his behaviour,though the other lady too encouraged him n enjoyed his attention, he said he could have avoided all this..
     
  4. Iamagoodgirl

    Iamagoodgirl Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,628
    Likes Received:
    1,406
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    OP tell him continue to be transparent. Thats your only bet to stop it.Tell him to be formal with her and reduce contact with her as much as possible.Talk only work related matter.
    I dont think so he can cancel his next trip on such a short notice.Tell him not to destroy our marriage and dd life by doing something wrong before he leaves for next trip.
     
  5. silentlistener

    silentlistener Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    301
    Likes Received:
    232
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Male
    His honesty and transparency are great things !
     
  6. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    7,627
    Likes Received:
    22,973
    Trophy Points:
    440
    Gender:
    Female
    I would say ,keep your eyes wide open and warn him about what he stands to lose.
    When a person is married,he /she does not have the liberty to get involved with other people and then brush it off saying"nothing serious happened".

    Ask him why he is again going with her on a trip?
     
    2 people like this.
  7. sokanasanah

    sokanasanah IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    3,932
    Likes Received:
    6,779
    Trophy Points:
    408
    Gender:
    Male
    What does this mean? What are the symptoms of the affliction?

    How?
     
    1 person likes this.
  8. Metamorphic

    Metamorphic Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    306
    Likes Received:
    703
    Trophy Points:
    173
    Gender:
    Female
    Conneting with a person emotionally in just 9 days is unlikely. How can a married person with kids develop feelings for a person instantly or in a span of just 9 days?

    He must be into this since long and you found out now. I am not scaring you, just hinting you to know the truth. In any case, if he is really serious about his marraige, he has to consider quitting the job that requires your H and the other woman to go on trips frequently.

    Generally a person involved in EMA (emotional or otherwise) is concerned with 2 things. One what if my spouse know about this.. how will she/he will take it? and two: How to end the affair.

    For your H, question number one is solved and surprisinlgy in a very smooth way than what he must have feared. More chances to continue the 'emotional connection'. I would suggest you to give the issue the seriousness it deserves and not just convinving yourself with whatever he says.
     
  9. cutesmile09

    cutesmile09 Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    298
    Likes Received:
    76
    Trophy Points:
    68
    Gender:
    Female
    Thank you for your replies friends, i know my DH well, he met her only during that trip( as she joined the company one month back), they don't work together, they work as PM on different locations, but they r sent on business trip with few other colleagues, DH promised me that he will live upto our expectations, don't do anything which will ruin our family/relationship! Praying to GOD to give us strength in this difficult phase.. I hope this too shall pass...
     
    2 people like this.
  10. cutesmile09

    cutesmile09 Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    298
    Likes Received:
    76
    Trophy Points:
    68
    Gender:
    Female
    I feel completely lost n betrayed, I don't have words to express my pain n grief, I accepted my DH wholeheartedly after this whole episode n gave him another chance as he said he can't completely cut contact with her n will keep it related to official matters but I am shocked to death that he deleted her what's up msgs which she sent him last week n I am sure they both were discussing abt the upcoming trip,Y'day I co-incidentally found it out n confronted my DH n made him clear that I can't trust him anymore n i feel betrayed n cheated for which he said he is committed to me n deleted the msg with the intention to avoid her n I might feel bad reading tht text, Y'day whole night we were fighting on this n I told him that he can't fool me around all the time n I can't take this torture anymore!
    Friends,What do you think still shall I have hope on this marraige, even he said he will cancel his trip if it gives me assurance, don't know whT to do n how to react? Feeling suicidal but just consoling myself for my girl...
     

Share This Page