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Dh going to india...for what?

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by icyspicy, Jan 24, 2010.

  1. icyspicy

    icyspicy Senior IL'ite

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    Me and dh went to india in nov regarding sum property matter but thruout stay in india he didnt tell me what was the actual situation.There his mom told him to cum agn bak to india alone next time ,now since few days he is talking to his mom abt cuming to india,he is telling me tht for porperty matter he has to go ,he is sending abt his full salary to india and telling me tht v have to live on his commissions for few months and v should think twice on spending,i dont know what is happening behind and when i ask him he says "im being transparent to u there is nothing im hiding?" but many times he speaks prvalty to his mom (goes out telling he has to lad credit) or speak silently.He is telling abt sum propertly papers tht were lost and he trying to get them back ,his mama and other reltives are also involved in it to fight a case he told,and he has to pay arnd 2 lakh rupees to the judge,my parents r telling this much amnt is not needed for all this it cld be sumthing else he is going for,how am i supposed to know,i want to go with im to india but he dosent want to take me saying tht he will be bak i n 2 days.what should i do?
     
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  2. lavii

    lavii Gold IL'ite

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    icy
    leme tell you this
    in initail days of marriage i was too very possesive about my dh and when i came to know he is chatting with his friend(girl) just a causal chat and inspite of know he has no feelings towards he and had a causal chat i felt bad and i made a scene and few days it went on..honestly now i know how imamture i was...and since then he stopped syaing me things thinking it could irriate me and cause him problems..
    i gave you this example becuase
    if a wife keeps pesturing dh not to send money,not to help mom,or kins etc he may think its better he does that job without even informing spouse to avoid bad times..assure him you wont stop anything from happening and enquire what he is upto.winning trust after long quarrels takes time so be patient
    and the title of your post...tell me how can anyone guess where and why your dh is gooing :(
     
    Last edited: Jan 24, 2010
  3. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

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    Icy

    When your husband had explained things to you, and you dont beleive him, then how would things change even if you accompany him to India?>?? there also you might end up staying back at home, in the kitchen cooking n cleaning and he might have to go out to do that land work...so what difference does it make whether you are here or where you aer in India iwth him???

    Ask yourself this question...whatever you are feeling is it a worry / concern that your hubby is having some problem with something and he is running around to fix it??? or is it a doubt on him/his actions as to what is he upto???

    If its a worry/concern put across to him softly that you trust him and his decisions and support him no matter what!

    If its a doubt on him, then no matter what he says/he does nothing can clarify your doubts.....

    You may not like what I say...but think about yourself and what are you upto!! you are a constant worrier??? consistently doubt your husbands actions or words or deeds?? consistently complain about your marriage and try to find things that always upset you??? then thats what you would find always...worry, fear, doubt and unhappiness!!

    When was the last time you just had peace of mind??? when you totally agreed and empathized your husband??

    No one can fix that doubt or worry bug in your brain,.you got to start acting like a grownup
     
  4. icyspicy

    icyspicy Senior IL'ite

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    u r right...i guess im thinking too much....,i should stop worrying...i ll do just tht...thanks...!:)
     

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