1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Dh Going To India Alone This Time! Suggestions...

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by newtsnow, Dec 20, 2016.

  1. newtsnow

    newtsnow New IL'ite

    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    5
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi Ladies,

    I am a big fan of all you people and the great advice you provide.

    Current situation: DH is going to India alone this time, I cannot go because of work. My inlaws as usual mean and money minded. They have created a lot of issues in my married life from day 1. My concern is do I need to be worried about DH going alone? Any advice or issues I should be prepared for? We have been married 4 years now.
     
    Loading...

  2. coolgal123

    coolgal123 Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,354
    Likes Received:
    2,670
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Why do you want to be worried about your DH??? are you worried that your inlaws will brainwash him???
    he is not a small child , he is an adult....trust him....besides what can you do?? can you control the happenings at inlaws home while sitting 7 seas apart...
    behave like a mature person and expect some maturity from your husband, dont try to control him like a child....
     
  3. newtsnow

    newtsnow New IL'ite

    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    5
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Yea well, thanks for the firm advice ! They tend to brainwash him a lot, I dont control him, I just cant take negativity and tension stemming from these feuds ! And I am more worried about the repercussions thereafter. Anyways, Ill keep my fingers crossed !
     
    sumalynux and KashmirFlower like this.
  4. seekout

    seekout Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    83
    Likes Received:
    58
    Trophy Points:
    60
    Gender:
    Female
    I can understand your situation as i've seen enough brainwashing incidents. After these incidents DH would speak exactly their words which he may not usually use.
    In your case you can't stop him from going but don't look worried in front of him. Just send formal greetings to your in-laws and even after his arrival only formally enquire about in-laws. Don't give a chance to start a fight or try to know what happened there. Once you yourself begin it, he may tell you every thing and you may argue about something or the other(he may also start an argument based on your discussion) and if he doesn't tell you anything, you'd feel that he is not saying anything because of brainwashing and you may start an argument.
    Best thing to do would be to be pleasant and formal/normal. This is easier said than done i know but try it.
     
    nakshatra1, IniyaaSri and Madhumagie like this.
  5. Meet9

    Meet9 Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    240
    Likes Received:
    158
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    I think you need to talk to your DH.
    First you need to think through all the problem areas of life where you want no interference or brainwashing from your ILs. Make sure you sit and discuss what you as both as couple want in that area, your decisions should not be changed after he comes back, keep it strict....you may suggest your DH not to bring up those topics in front of your ILs, if they confront, let your DH change the topic or just make sure you are strict with your DH that those things are non compromisable....As another PP suggested, less follow up is better, once the words between your DH and you are fixed, there is no question of re discussion of that topic..less words more action will be better with your DH.. yes, I understand your insecurities, these are real problems, ILs do brainwash any opportunity they get....they will not leave this golden chance, so please be prepared for good discussions with your DH...good luck! :)
     

Share This Page