DH asking back jewels on demand cos of MIL

icyspicy · Jun 1, 2010

I came to stay with my parents 2days back....things were ok btwn me and dh but there was a problem which my mil created and during tht she screamed at me asking where r jewels they gaves us ....she wants those jewels at her sons home and demanded i bring it back...i told her to talk to my parents then she said she has nothing to do with my parents and have no relation with them....later i kept quiet ....cos of continuous tension i wasent feleing well so i told my dh thti would be going for a day or 2 to my parents home ...he didnt mind and said ok.....he calledme twice and talked to me nicely then after sumtime i came to know from my dad tht my dh had called him up to ask abt the jewels...and asked my dad to send the jewels when i return...

This problem i face everyday....When my mil is upset cos of me son will see her and sit with her for full day till night 1 am and will not come to the room ....we lack in intimacy cos of his moms behaviour....he feels tht his mom will scold him and he wants to stay with her....plus his mom keeps asking for children and also told me its ok if we are intimate even once a month but i should have tablet if i want to get pregnant early....

I am confused...

Pavithra55 · Jun 1, 2010

hi dear. stay cool. speak to your dh. communication will alone help you.

raha256 · Jun 1, 2010

dear,
whether the jewels are given by ur inlaws or by your parents it is always better to keep it with u. ur hubbys place is ur place. after marriage it is u who have to take care of ur things. isn't it?. so i think their is nothing wrong if u DH tells ur dad to send jewels with u. infact u should be happy that he spoke to u in a kind manner. take jewels with u when u go ur home.

as far as ur mil pbm is concerned i think u can talk to Dh that u want him to come early to the room. becoz the way he has spoken to u indicates he loves u. every son or atleast 90% of indian males are like this. sitting with mom etc etc. i agree that it irritates u. but if he showers love for u, u need not worry. tell him politely that u want him. tell him that more sex during ovalution time is a must to make a baby.

raha

deepd · Jun 1, 2010

Dear icy
I have read your earlier threads so am aware of your situation. But here i ll advice you on your current problem.

The simple solution is you return all your jewelery that your In laws gave you to your MIL quietly.You should not keep that jewelery with your parents.

Take care

ShilpaMa · Jun 1, 2010

Icy, this is my opinion irrespective of all earlier posts:

1) Either return all the jewellery your inlaws gave you back to them with a smile and ask for a small set to be kept with you.
2) Or Add your DH's name to the current bank locker as co-operator.

Yes all people want grandchildren in home irrespective of what the relationship status is between the spouse... simply reply to your MIL, I shall do the needful.. rest depends on her son's participation.

needhelp123 · Jun 1, 2010

Just bring the jewels back to your DH home. Where is the problem?

My jewels were in my parents bank-locker too. And my in-laws went crazy because of that (as if my parents would eat the gold :crazy).
And during one fight my MIL also asked the gold jain back that they gave me.
So we gave that thing back...I never liked it anyways.

icyspicy · Jun 1, 2010

We r ready to give back their jewels....thing is its kept in india so they will give it once they get it back from there....

Abt intimacy...i have told my dh many times abt it tht i want im to come to room early....i dont force him or tell him abt it during weekedays ...atleast in weekends i expect him to be intimate with me and think for a child....he says he wants to watch movies till 3 am with his parents and only after tht he would think abt what i told...he doest say yes to readily...i dont know what to reply to him hen ...i sadly agree...he agrees hesitantly but he spends so much time o n the movies then whren i tell him later he says "oh sorry i didnt think abt it ok tomorrow well plan it ".....i dont know what to do

ShilpaMa · Jun 1, 2010

Icy, ok then tell the truth to your MIL and wait for her response on jewels.
Since you and your parents live in UAE I thought that you might be having it right there with you.. am not sure how it goes for you but in India you need to monitor your locker regularly say 6 mnth atleast even for prime banks.

I understand this irritating behaviour of watching tv with/ without FOO and entering bedroom only at 3 am... however more you nag more you'll get... I would still maintain.. tell your MIL to tell her son to do the needful. I still see more troubles with or without child... just keep sailing and take it as it comes.

icyspicy · Jun 1, 2010

I have told her ...she tells ok but then she sits and speaks with her son....sometimes she tells but he refuses saying tht he will go after sometime ....same time i also tell him...he says "give me 5 1/2 hour" i says ok but he comes after 1 to 2 hrs and then says "sorry im late".....im so tired i want to sleep....this happens almost every day ....i feel lack of intimacy makes me go nuts

RashmiR · Jun 1, 2010

hi icy...

U mention that u have come to ur mom's place for a day or two.. and the jewels are in India.. Ur parents also stay at UAE? I'm sorry.. I'm confused..:confused2: