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Dh and love

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by pacer, Jan 12, 2010.

  1. pacer

    pacer New IL'ite

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    I had a love marriage and my DH and I love each other a lot. I feel I love him
    the most in this world. He on the other hand says he loves me alot
    but will never say that i am the most IMP person. I have no
    complaints. He did once mention he loves his mom the most in a differnt
    conversation. I have been very upset since. I feel I love him much more than he does love me.

    This sounds like when I was 16 not 29...., still .
     
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  2. eandian

    eandian IL Hall of Fame

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    Please do not worry. Even if he finds it difficult to express his love in words, as long as there are actions that show that he loves you, it should be ok.

    Love between a husband and wife will grow with years and slowly you will become the most important person in his life.
     
  3. pandusk

    pandusk Gold IL'ite

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    Hi Pacer,

    I guess you are thinking a lot, usually guys do not express their love..
    i have seen many of my friends including me who used to complain the same thing but dont worry, once in a blue moon they show their love.

    Regards,
    Pandu
     
  4. Guy

    Guy New IL'ite

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    I don't think here the issue is that your DH doesn't Love you or He doesn't ay it. What i understood from your post is that you are upset that he loves his mom more.

    My advice to you is this. You have a wonderful Marriage Life. You both love each other and you are lucky to be in such a marriage. A person can never rate his love to diffrent people who are close, like parents/Wife.

    So please don't worry about it. after all it's his mother who bought him up and it's a good sign that he loves her. Just understand that and he'll love you all the more.

    And, I found the above replys done in haste without reading/understanding the question. are they just for counts?.
     
  5. Tugga

    Tugga Silver IL'ite

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    Hmmm.... a 29 year old matured wife is not suposed to confuse like this:(

    Hey, come one yaar. Your inner heart knows that your DH loves you a lot, that's why you say you have nothing to complain about him.

    Just because he committed with you in a marriage life, doesn't mean he must stop all his love and affection with him beloved mom.

    A mom is a mom, and a wife is a wife... Both relationships are entirely different and very important to any men out here. It is utter foolishness to compare or rate your love with your wife and mom.

    Hope you are a mother now.. if not, one day you will become as a mother. Would you rate your love between your DH and son/daughter? Who is the most important person to you? Or would you feel happy if your son stops his love on you and rate you down right after his marriage?

    Do not confuse unnecessasarily and keep cool:)

    You are one of the blessed women in this earth to have such a loving husband.. enjoy his love to the fullest.
     
  6. vimala1957

    vimala1957 Bronze IL'ite

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    Hey, be happy and enjoy life. You get your share of love well, so why worry? Do not let this feeling show upon him otherwise things may or may be not change, why risk yourself with unnecessary thoughts.
     
  7. Drpreethis

    Drpreethis Gold IL'ite

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    Pacer,

    How far can you go to prove this love for your hubby ?

    What if he doesnt feel contend with it yet... will you go further to prove him that you love him more than he does ?

    Let us say you do.. then what ? What do you get eventually ? A satisfaction that you infact love him more than he does.. ?

    What if he turns of to prove to you that he loves you more than you do to him ? Will that make you happy ?

    As one member rightly said here, the problem is not wether he loves you more, the issue is he said he loved his mommy the most !

    How can you compare yourself to ANYONE, Pacer ? Dont you think you are unique ? Dont you feel you are what you are and people love you for that ? His mommy has a different relationship to what you and your hubby share. How can you even think about comparing it ?

    Are you his mother or wife ? Wife, isnt .. Is it " anyway " the same as to what he shares with his mommy ? THINK !

    When it isnt, how can the love be the same ?? So, tommorrow you have a daughter, do you think, your hubby will love his daughter the way he loves his wife ? Ridiculous isnt ???

    So, dont mix up relationships ! YOU ARE MARRIED TO HIM, YOU HAVENT ADOPTED HIM ! had you done the latter then the comparison is reasonable ! Get over it.. Girl !
     
  8. Manaswini08

    Manaswini08 Bronze IL'ite

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    I agree with Guy. Your husband does say and show his love for you. Your marriage is proof of that. When he says that his mother is the most important person in the world, he probably isn't counting you on his list of people. The main reason is probably because you and he are one person. There should not be a competition as to who loves each other the most because you both are one being (spiritually and emotionally) since the beginning. So, when he takes into account everyone else, of course his mom ranks on top.

    and one more thing...the way a woman knows how well her husband will treat her is by witnessing how well he treats his mother. I think you are a very lucky young lady in this respect.
     
  9. pacer

    pacer New IL'ite

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    Thank you all for some eye opening responses. Yes i was getting all upset about such
    silly stuff. He is so much nicer , respects me, helps out at home with kids , let's me
    go out with my friends. I was thinking of confronting him over this but am
    sure that would hurt him like hell.
    Thanks again. I hope I can learn to see better things in him and arpund me than compete
    with his mom .
     
  10. eandian

    eandian IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi Guy,
    You have every right to disagree with my opinions but you are not right when you “assume” that my reply was written in haste or without understanding the problem or with the intention of increasing the number of my posts?
    If you have a problem with anything that I have written please point it out and I can explain it to the best of my abilities instead of assuming things. This is a public forum and not everybody will think exactly like you do.
     

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