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DH always lies, what to do ?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by shanmu13, Aug 12, 2010.

  1. shanmu13

    shanmu13 New IL'ite

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    Dear IL's

    Here's my story:

    I have been married for 2 yrs now. Ours was Love + arrange marriage. We were far off relatives.
    Though i said love, it was just 'like'. I dint know completely about his nature.More of attraction only which i realized after my marriage !!

    He is a smoker like 8/10 cigarettes a day. and occasional drinker. Occasion means once in 4/5 days. I Just cant tolerate these habits. and i had told him to stop this before marriage. he even promised me that he has stopped everything. but the second day of my marriage itself i came to know that he never stopped and had simply lied.Since we were living in different countries and were only talking over phone or chat, just believed all his words were true.

    One of my good friend told me dont make this an issue and fight always, just ignore. Then me and DH came to a point its ok if u drink but just let me know. dont hide from me and lie to me. He was also following this for a month or so. Our fighting also reduced since i had also changed my mindset.

    Then again he started to lie. That day, i could see in his eyes that he has drunk, but still he's arguing to the core that he has not drunk. I saw the vodka and whisky bottles in the trash and asked him how it came there. he is saying they were old empty bottles at home and he put it in the trash. Oh c'mon. how much can you lie man.

    I feel telling lies is in his blood. His mom also lies for silly-pilly matters. I feel so insecure of his attitude. He's just not honest and trust worthy.

    Please IL's tell me how to deal with this.
     
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  2. bablue

    bablue New IL'ite

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    hello shanmu

    Oh My God, its resembles same my life, i do sailing the same boat, i don;t know how to over come,
    My husband does the same, lies for every single thing, i said to politely,fight with him followed all different ways., don;t know how to change him. i decided some habit come from birth, couldn;t change it.
    Atleast, you living different places, myself and my hubband living in the same house. he only lies for dirnking and money.if i ask he say its only weekend, yes he does only the weekend still i couln;t tolarate.

    don;t know really wat to decide.
     

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